JOY . . . and my sorrow
Monday evening he picked up the missionaries serving in our area and went with them to two appointments. They weren't just member families that were being encouraged to share the gospel with others, both appointments were with investigating families and one of the individuals they taught is being baptized on Friday. As we had family home evening at home without him it seemed so odd. We are used to having extras at family home evening, usually Levi's friends. I was a little choked up as Derek said the opening prayer for family home evening and blessed Levi that he would be safe while out with the missionaries. It won't be too much longer (ok, 2 years, but that seems like such a short time!) before he is actually on a mission and that prayer will be offered daily.
When he returned home his countenance was different. He left as a teenager and returned as a witness of Christ having shared his testimony with someone gaining their own testimony. The influence of the Elders, the Priesthood, and the Holy Ghost had all left it's mark on him as truth was testified. He seemed to just float through the room as he came to give me a hug. My little boy had the presence of royalty, a worthy son of God. My heart was bursting with joy to see him through spiritual eyes, yet my heart had pangs of sadness admitting that he will in fact leave home, go on a mission, marry, and live a full life without checking in with me every night to give me a hug and tell me he loves me.
Tuesday morning he had come down from his missionary high a bit, spiked his hair before school and resumed his teenager life but I have no doubt that when he questions whether or not to serve a mission it will be moments like these will make that decision easier.
SORROW . . . and eternal joy
Tuesday afternoon came with a new lesson. Levi spent the evening lending support to a close friend as she and her family gathered with family and friends to let their 15 year old son and brother pass from the pains of this life. Brayden wasn't just Caytlyn's brother, but a good friend of Levi's as well. They have joked around, watched movies, eaten meals, and had family time together.
The evening was light hearted, full of home videos, jokes and stories but with the underlying knowledge that this was the end of Brayden's journey here on earth. Levi came home late and we sat talking for a while with the rest of the house sound asleep.
Wednesday morning started like any other: gearing up for school, work and another day, but Levi had left his backpack in Caytlyn's car. He drove to her house to get it and called me minutes later wondering if he could skip school and stay with the family. They once again had close friends around them and it was clear that Brayden would not make it through the day.
Levi came home around 3:00 to switch vehicles with me and tried to sneak in the door without being noticed. I was watching for him so I followed him down to his room. He was already in tears as he turned to me in a hug and just wept. Sitting on the floor, I held my son longer today than I have since he was probably six. He was overflowing with emotion having witnessed a friend leave this life, struggling for breathe as his very weak body let go of the fight. As I listened to Levi express his intimate thoughts I realized that what he experienced today was a better lesson on the plan of salvation and eternal families than any lessons he has heard in primary, seminary, or family home evening. He witnessed a close family sharing their love and saying goodbye with the firm assurance that it is only a temporary goodbye and then sharing their tears with them as they felt their loss even having that firm testimony in God's plan. So much sorrow for today, so much joy for eternity.
I received the call earlier in the day that my Grandma had also passed away this morning. It wouldn't have been such a surprise a few months ago when she was in the hospital but today it completely caught me off guard. I cried mostly for my mom. I couldn't help but be a little happy for Grandma, she gets to be with Grandpa! Once again I thought of the sorrow in this day, but the joy that comes eternally.
3 comments:
I had to keep from crying when I read about Levi crying. (Sitting in the Embassy checking blogs might not be the best place for emotional blogs.)
Hope everyone gets through the next few emotional days. I'm thinking of you both.
what a magnificent experience/lesson, as hard as it is. what joy to have the knowledge of such eternal promises!
that brings such a new perspective to motherhood...i have many years until i hit that point in my life, but it brings such an eye opener to what my children will experience.
I'm sorry about your grandma.You sure have had a rough go around lately. Levi is such a great kid! I hope my boys take care of me like Levi treats you. I wish Caytlyn and her family well.
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