Gory Finger Details

I can't give the details without it being a little gross so if you get squeamish hearing bloody description you might want to skip this post. However, for those of you morbid friends (ok, mostly my mom and sisters) here's what happened.

I'm not going to put the pictures up here because then you wouldn't have a choice to not see them so if you want to see the damage done and the ugly healing process go here: Finger Pics

It happened Thursday around 12:30. I was trying to get Caytlyn's birthday present done while Hyrum was down for a nap. Luckily, LeRoy ended up not going to Driggs that day as planned and was home for lunch. He was getting Nathan some lunch and putting him down for a nap. I was cruising along cutting fabric with my rotary cutter and mat board and things were moving along smoothly. For those of you who don't know how a rotary cutter is used here is a picture of how it works:

I only had 1 cut left and all of the fabric would be ready to sew together. I quickly lined up the ruler, stuck my hand across the top and zip . . . went right over my index finger. No, really. The cutter didn't even get stuck it just sliced through the skin as easily as it does the fabric. Originally I thought that the cutter had slipped up the side of the ruler but now, a couple of days and a million times reviewing it in my head later, I really think that I did not even have the cutter on the fabric, just the ruler. That shows how little attention I was giving to the sharp blade details.

I had the mat board sitting on the floor of the guest/craft room, right next to the bathroom door. As soon as I did it I knew it was bad. Within just a matter of seconds I sliced a chunk out of my finger, jumped up to the bathroom sink (only about 5 steps away), left a trail of blood on the fabric, carpet, tile and sink, and there I was kneeling in front of the sink with my finger shaking in shock while running cold water over it. I was kneeling because I suddenly felt so light headed, which is unusual for me with stuff like this but I think my body was quickly going into a bit of shock.

Thank goodness LeRoy was walking down the stairs to ask me a question just as I did it. He immediately took over and found the first aid kit. His professional medical opinion was to wrap it up in electrical tape. Ok, so he was going to give me gauze but his normal method is the tape. He felt that there was no reason to go to the doctor since there was nothing to stitch, it was completely cut off. I was more concerned with the amount of blood that I was losing and the fact that it wasn't slowing down, but I humored LeRoy. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe shock. Maybe not wanting to make the decision. Maybe because he had actually looked at it without passing out and was trying so hard to be helpful. Within a couple of minutes of having it wrapped in gauze and having the sanitary white turn to a dripping red, we realized it was not going to stop bleeding and a doctors opinion and help was a definite must.

Luckily, our neighbor is homeschooling her daughter this year and she was able to run over in a matter of minutes. In the 15 minutes it took to get from our house to the doctor I soaked through a very thick layer of gauze wrapping and a double wrapped paper towel that had been in LeRoy's truck. By the time I walked into Community Care it was dripping and they quickly got me in. I told the doctor what happened and he laughed. What?! This was not funny! Turns out that it kind of is funny. He joked that someone should start a crafty cutters club for all those women who have major cuts on their fingers thanks to rotary cutters. I now see the humor in it but at the time I was about to pass out or throw up. They tilted the bed so that all the blood was rushing to my head and that helped.

He removed the drenched wrapping and we watched for a minute as my finger released a constant trickle of blood. LeRoy did his best to make small talk with anyone that would listen as he tried not to look at it. The needle that was stuck in that freshly cut skin brought great relief but only after it forced me to tears and nearly a swear word or two. Upon examining it I was told that I had cut clear down to the 3rd layer of skin and had just missed the bone. It was determined that it had to be cauterized which they first tried to do with a chemical (silver nitrate) but even after a few minutes of that it started to bleed again so he picked up this tool to use. I heard a slight buzzing noise and then from LeRoy, "you're welding her finger?". The doctors response, "it's kinda like that". I was to numb to respond at the time so the two of them had their own conversation about it. I was just glad it was over. And then I had to sit up. Dizzy!

I went home with a very numb finger, grateful that I hadn't lost my whole finger or even feeling in the finger and thought the worst was over. Not so! The healing process has been worse than the actual accident or office visit. There are some moments that I wonder if a lifetime of no feeling in that finger would be better than the torture it is to grow in a replacement. My charcoal burn hurts! I skipped the whole 2nd, 3rd degree burn thing and went right to charcoal with that little "welding" tool. I now suffer from a constant burned feeling. Like a blistering burn that is deep in the skin and you just cannot find relief for. Added to that is the awakening of all the little nerves that I severed and their own healing process as new skin grows in. There is a never ending throb that feels much like the smashed in the door kind of throbbing and it is sometimes so strong that I tear up. Growing a new finger is painful!

They initially sent me home without pain killers but by Saturday night (it happened on Thursday) I couldn't stand it any longer. Rather than sit forever in the ER (since it was the middle of the night) I decided to just take one of LeRoy's. I only took half but it was enough to dull the pain so that I could sleep. The first thing I did Monday morning was call the doctor for my own prescription and my finger is feeling a little better, though the throbbing is still there the pain is a bit relieved. The pain killer does leave me very sleepy and a bit sick to my stomach. I wish there was something to apply directly to the finger to just numb the it instead of my whole body.

By Monday afternoon my finger was burning and turning bright red so I went back to the Doctor to have him look at it. They had said to come back in one week to check for infection but I was a little concerned so I went in early. Of course, I couldn't just cut my finger, have it cauterized and deal with constant throbbing pain, I might as well go the whole way and get an infection. So now I'm on an antibiotic as well. I've also noticed that my jaw hurts. Probably from clenching my teeth at the constant pain. And my middle finger is tired from doing it's own work plus that of the injured pointy fingers work. Aghh, one little cut causes a whole ripple affect throughout the body.

Oh, and in case you are wondering, I did finish Caytlyn's gift. When I took it to her I assured her that there was no blood or skin sewn into it and the silly girl was a bit sad about that. She loves having a story to tell. Levi and Caytlyn asked me what I want for Christmas and in a numb drugged up state I said "my finger back". Not because I really care that I will spend the rest of my life with a deformed finger but because I wish I could take back just 2 seconds of my past to avoid this whole painful experience. Caytlyn jumped on that wish asking if my finger was still in the garbage downstairs and suggested they find a locket to put it in. Good thing I took out the garbage!

I've asked my brother Joe for permission to join the Fullmer Finger Club. It has previously been an all male club: my grandpa, my uncle, my brother. They all lost the end of one of their fingers too. Even though mine is a slice instead of whacking off the top, I am suffering similar consequences and will live the rest of my life with the visible reminder of my stupidity. Anyone second the motion?