December

During the few sunny days we were blessed with in December, Nathan was reunited with an old playmate.

He has always had a fascination with his shadow. Even when he was only two and still in diapers.

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Hibbard Elementary did a Grinch Christmas program and asked that the kids all dress up like the Who people.  Nathan wanted to dress up as JoJo from Horton Hears a Who. He even encouraged his hair to grow for the whole month leading up to the program and spent time in front of the mirror practicing his bored JoJo look.  After searching all over Rexburg hoping to find some left-over Halloween clearance hair color, we finally found some black hairspray to darken his blond hair.

The best looking Who kids ever!

It was a good thing that a haircut was already in the plans after the program.  I don't think we would have been able to get all the black out without it.  After his haircut and shower he wanted to take a bath and still, the water turned to a murky grey and it took another shampoo and lots of scrubbing to wash away all the black off of his scalp.

Nathan cringes every time he hears the last note in the song.  "We sound terrible!" he groans as he covers his ears.  My favorite part of this video is the last 2 seconds.  I love the little shrug that Nathan does right in cue with the music.  I adore this little man!


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I was not expecting the emotions that encompassed me during this program.  I thought it would be the usual elementary school entertainment but watching the students walk in caught my attention in a humble way and when Nathan's first grade class came in I was completely overwhelmed with emotion.  Then they started singing "Where Are You Christmas" and the words coming from those innocent children had me completely choked up.

Where are you Christmas 
Why can't I find you 
Why have you gone away 
Where is the laughter 
You used to bring me 
Why can't I hear music play 

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too


I realized that what I was feeling was a rush of gratitude for our teachers, sympathy for those who had lost children in the Connecticut school shooting that took twenty first graders from their families, and a prayer in my heart for all of the families, teachers, friends, officers, medics and anyone else who had immediately been affected by the tragic events from last week.

Once the kids sat down I counted the front row of wiggly, giggly, smiling first graders I was shocked to think that had the shooting taken place at our rural elementary school it would have been that entire first row and three kids from the second row that would be gone as well as six of our teachers/administrators that were standing along the walls encouraging their students.  I cannot even imagine the depth of sorrow, sadness, pain and loss that must have been felt in that community and certainly, there must have been questions of "where are you, Christmas" as their lives were changing.

I admit that this sad, tearful feeling stuck with me throughout the next few days and I had a hard time not tearing up at everything Nathan did or said, living through the eyes of parents who would wish for one more silly joke, whiny plea or happy hug from their first grader.  Then a song came to me and I had to look it up for the exact words.

Jesus, my Savior true,
Help me they will to do.
E'en in the darkest night,
Be thou my beacon light.

Through this dark world of strife,
Teach me a better life.
Let thy redeeming pow'r
Be thou my safety tow'r.

When strife and sin arise,
When tears bedim my eyes,
When hopes are crushed and dead,
Thy glory round me shed.

When silent death draws near,
Calm thou my trembling fear.
Let me thy mercy prove.
Guide me to heav'n above.

"Guide Me to Thee" Hymn #101

At the end of each phrase are the words "guide me to thee".  The verses themselves offer a beautiful prayer but the phrase guide me to thee seems to be the reaching beyond ourselves, our problems, worries, loss and whatever else is taking over our souls to really feel of His mercy and love through the atonement.  For those who are suffering in Connecticut, this is my prayer for you.