Sunrise

This is the view we enjoyed while eating breakfast this morning.

1 Year Anniversary

This night one year ago LeRoy and I knelt in prayer asking what we were to do. One week prior our neighbor sold her house - in 3 days - and we had been offered the same on ours. We had no intention of moving in the near future, we were deciding how to remodel the bathroom and our bedroom, and I was settling in for the winter with the thoughts of a new baby coming in the spring.

Halloween day 1 year ago the kids were getting ready to go trick-or-treating and LeRoy and I were sitting at the kitchen table with the real estate agent signing papers to accept the offer . . . and a new year began. One week later, on my birthday, we signed all the closing papers. Three days following that I turned in floor plans to the architect. Withing 3 weeks they were digging the basement and so it continued. I remember vividly the feelings of guidance, as if we were being led by the hand and shown exactly what to do next. We knew it was Heavenly Father placing us where he wanted us to be next. I spent most of Hyrum's pregnancy making decisions about the house and thinking that I was just so ready to leave that old house behind. I didn't even plan on looking back.

I have a confession: since moving here I have driven past the old house at least once a week, either the front road to see the front of the house or the new back road to see the back yard. During the first month after we moved I probably drove past it multiple times during each week. I kept telling myself that it was silly, that there wasn't anything there that I missed (and hoping that the new renters didn't think I was stalking them).

Tonight I realized why I have had trouble giving it up. It isn't the house, I know all that needed to be done to it. It isn't the location, I love living outside of town. As I drove past it tonight a flood of emotion slammed into me. I could smell the kitchen, I could hear the dishwasher running, I knew exactly how I would have tiptoed from the back door to the bedroom to avoid all the squeaks in the floor. I suddenly had a clear understanding that it wasn't the walls or neighbors that I was homesick for, it was my own cushion of memories that I felt I had left behind, as if they were still sitting in a box in the basement waiting for me to go get them.

During the 7 years that we lived there, our family grew in amazing ways. There were baptisms, blessings, teeth lost, braces, gymnastics, the dog, raspberries, mowing that plush green yard, planting and harvesting the garden every year, the wind blowing through the trees that we had planted, the cat, kids playing on the huge slide that I was sure would break someone's arm, Grandma Hawkins staying with us for a week, the big Fullmer family reunions that filled the yard and house, birthdays, sunburns that came as a result of hours spent in the inflatable swimming pool, 7 Christmas mornings, sicknesses that we survived, the struggle of starting our own business, 2 car accidents, multiple callings in the ward, 6 New Year's Eve parties, remodel projects, and the joy of receiving a long awaited answer to prayers that resulted in Nathan and Hyrum joining our family.

I remember the Sunday of Hyrum's birth this last March and the peace, joy and love that I felt hugging us from heaven. Then Monday came and I immediately started thinking of the move, packing, arranging help . . and I remember crying for the next 3 months. I see pictures from that time and I don't remember much of it. I feel cheated out of really living and relishing Hyrum's infancy. Part of me feels like I walked out on one of the most beautiful, defining moments of my life and I keep looking back trying to find it's memory, as if it has been deleted by our change in scenery.

The move came quickly and suddenly I was living in a strangers house. I experienced great guilt at living in such a new, big place, feeling like I was undeserving. And I remember crying. I was constantly raining emotion from physical pain, homesickness, guilt, loneliness, inadequacy and experiencing all of that in a home that I didn't feel was mine. For 2 months we tip-toed around this beautiful building waiting for the community to admire it. Then when the Parade of Homes was over we were finally able to start making memories of our own, in our house.

Now I am doing much better. Having had major messes in the house, writing on the walls, arguments, silly moments, much laughter, friends over, sicknesses, a leaky pipe, a flooded toilet, hand prints on windows, gum in the carpet, fingerprints on the light switches and the holidays coming on it is finally starting to feel like ours. I have also truly learned that a better house doesn't make better memories. I hope that doesn't sound ungrateful, snobby, preachy or trite. I do appreciate that we have all the room we need (and then some), I enjoy having a garage, I am grateful for my roomy kitchen that accommodates all the extra teenagers so well, but I must admit that the memories we made in our cramped 70's home had nothing to do with the house and everything to do with each other, our family. No matter where we are it is the gospel of Jesus Christ, the laughter, sorrow, joy, sickness, sharing, caring, serving and love that make up our eternal family. Not the house.

I'm still a bit homesick. I miss that cushion of memories and I haven't figured out how to visit those memories without still feeling a loss . However, I am finding that as we continue to grow as a family in this house that this becomes home and I feel that at some point my memories will just all mesh together. Not part of this house or that house but just part of our family history.

"He really does answer our prayers" . . .

was Justin's comment.

To preview this statement: I lost my ring. The ring that I love. The ring that LeRoy gave to me for our 15th wedding anniversary to replace the wedding ring that I had never been to fond of but didn't tell him for about 12 years.

It had been getting very loose on my finger so I had to be careful when drying my hands with a paper towel that I didn't throw it away. Or even just cleaning up, doing normal things throughout the day. And one morning it was gone.

I knew that the night before I had been twisting it on my finger while reading and that I hadn't gone anywhere from the last time I remembered it to the time that I noticed it was missing so I knew it was somewhere in the house . . . or the garbage. I picked through 4 garbage cans looking for it, I checked my laundry basket wondering if it came off when I undressed. Nothing.

After 2 days of secretly searching I finally told LeRoy and he started the prayer brigade. All of the kids were praying for it during family prayer, we prayed to find it during our personal prayers and still, nothing. I was beginning to wonder how long you pray for something before you finally accept the fact that the material possession you are praying so hard to find is really gone. It's just a ring right?

Nine days later . . . Justin found my ring! He was playing in Nathan's room with the 2 little boys and saw it laying on the floor by Nathan's bed. After the initial excitement of putting it on again, calling LeRoy to let him know, giving Justin a big hug and nearly tearing up, I took the time to wonder how it got there. Could it have just fallen off? Did I absent mindedly take it off while changing diapers? Did Nathan find it somewhere and stick it in his pocket like he does with all of the little treasures he finds? Does it matter? Our prayers had been answered.

It was so nice to kneel as a family and have Justin (it was actually his turn to say the prayer) give a moment of gratitude to our Heavenly Father "for answering our prayers and helping us to find Mom's ring". Yes, a material possession found, but more importantly a gospel principal and promise witnessed firsthand.

Pumpkin Carving FHE

Last night we carved our pumpkins for FHE. It was a glorious mess with wonderful results.

Having been up since 5 am, struggling with a headach and trying to ignore the beginnings of a head cold, I was not really in the mood to carve a pumpkin. But the kids insisted. All I could think about was that I wanted to go to bed. Rather than carve a bed into my pumpkin I settled on a night-time sky.

These have been a hit at our house . . check out this recipe for delightfully disgusting Finger Foods :)

LeRoy's Photo Shoot . . .

A few months ago an artist in our area, Gregg Thorkelson, asked LeRoy if he would come to his home for a couple of reasons. We did work for Gregg a couple of years ago so just thought it was for more work, which it was, but he also wanted to photograph LeRoy in a variety of poses for some artwork he was doing. The final paintings would be hung in a church (not LDS faith).

It was fun to get the CD of all the pictures and to see the steps taken to get the project finished. He begins by doing many shots of several people, placing the cutout figures in a rough sketch, doing a pencil sketch and then the finished painting.

It's not intended for the final painting to look like it has LeRoy in it - he was just used for figure placement and posing. LeRoy did think it was kind of funny that for each person he represents, Gregg covered in his bald spot.

You can also look at the pictures here to see them more clearly . . . Picasa Album

And also watch for Gregg Thorkelson work in the church magazines. He does quite a bit of artwork for the magazines and has done several book covers as well. And if you want beautiful portraits of you children to hang in your home he does a beautiful job of those. Not that we have put out the money for that but we have another friend who has and they are fantastic!

My Precious One

I needed something relaxing, calming, out of my ordinary day routine to do so I looked up the piano music for this song, printed it, practiced and learned it and it provided me with such a peaceful, memorable hour. (To listen to the song, start the playlist at the right of the blog.)

It was also the first time I have played the piano since we moved into our house . . 6 months ago. I didn't even know that I was missing it.

I first found this song around the same time that I started blogging. When I found it I remember leaning back in my office chair, rubbing my 7 month pregnant belly and letting the tears come. I was pregnant so of course I would get teared up but it really is a beautiful song. It is more than just the words or music that I enjoy, it is the reminder of the emotions and memories that I feel when I hear it that I love even more.

As I think back on this memory, the word "Cherish" comes to mind. It brings back a time of me feeling inadequate to bring another child to this world followed by an overwhelming outpouring of love, encouragement, appreciation and support from my Heavenly Father. I felt completely cherished by my Heavenly Father and in turn it renewed and strengthened in me the desire to really cherish each of my children.

And I must admit that I miss that feeling of being in complete harmony with "the plan" in bring another baby to his mortal body. I can't say that I miss being pregnant, just the feeling of being everything to someone, knowing that his very life was dependent on me and sacrificing my comfort, body, emotions, and time and even putting aside the opinions of society to give him a chance to prove himself in this life.

The Never Ending, Rotating Project . . .

Our whole family has contributed hours, labor, lifting, and ideas to this project. I am so grateful for the extra money that came in the way of a refund that could be put 100% into our storage. I also feel very blessed to have the enthusiasm and support of my husband and kids. It truly is a family project. We work on it together, we enjoy it together. This is one of my favorite things to work on!

The everyday foods. The easiest stuff to rotate :D

The 'cold storage' under our porch. Nathan felt he needed to be part of this picture.

LeRoy and Derek built these shelves. The top is our 72 hour emergency stuff: 7 backpacks ready to go, emerg. food bucket, first aid bucket and water.

Paper products, diapers & wipes, soaps, deoderants, lotions, vitamins/meds and all the kitchen stuff (foil, bags, dishsoap)

It isn't a year supply but it sure feels good to have this much together. It is so nice to have it all organized so that I know the areas we need to work on. Having a pantry upstairs also helps. Our current project is the deep freeze. I have a list of what I would like to add and we all watch out for sales. It is so funny to have one of the kids tell me that something is on sale. I don't think they have ever been aware of the price of food until we started this project together.

Woe is me, for I am undone (Isaiah)

Laundry - not done
Dishes - not done
Dusting - not done
Vacuuming - not done
Bathrooms clean - not done

Play with babies - done
Hugs - done
Story time - done
Listening - done
Me time - done
Honey Do's - done

Another day - DONE!

The Tale of Two Frogs

Kara told me of a book she was skimming through while standing in a line at Kinko's. The idea of the book was to eat your biggest frog in the morning with the "frog" being the task that looms over you, you put off and really just want to ignore. Then you can move on with the day without that 'frog' constantly in the back of your mind. It falls into the same theory as "how do you eat and elephant?". One day at a time.

So I have realized that I have 2 frogs.

My first frog is the one that is completely neccessary and must be done no matter what else is going on. My problem is that I tend to put it off until the last minute or end up staying up until all hours of the morning trying to digest the bugger. That would be my office - the paper/money side of our company. Unless I do my part it doesn't matter how many hours LeRoy works his tail off, it would fail. Of course he would hire another secretary before that would happen but the point is: I just need to do it, consistently. So during the last couple of weeks, having this frog theory in my head, I have done much better. I get the morning phone calls, faxes, banking and invoices done by (hopefully) 10am and then the rest of the day is for my kids, home, husband and me - which is another set of frogs altogether. The rest of the office stuff gets done between 9-11 pm. So really I go to work twice a day, with the phonecall part of it throughout, and it is really working better for me.

My other frog is the exercising that I really do want to do but struggle to find the best time to do. I now have that in good order as well. I actually enjoy 'eating this frog' for 2 reasons. 1) I do feel much better when I work out consistently and 2) I don't have it nagging me all day long when I just get it done first thing in the morning. My favorite time is 5:45 am. No one bothering me, no phone, and no one watching.

And now that my elliptical is finally here and put together I get to begin a new love/hate relationship with this frog. It was so great to work out to the point of a sweaty shirt, tight feelings in my chest from a great cardio workout and no foot pain from impact cardio. I love it already, but wow does it make me work!

So what frog do you need to eat first thing in the morning??

Sesame Street Remote Control

While Kara was at our house and while we were at Kara's house, Nathan packed around Max's toy remoted control. . . the whole time (sorry Max). He was quite addicted to the thing and all of it's funny sayings and sounds, especially Cookie Monster and Grouch. I intended to get one for him while we were in Utah (not sold at Walmart in Rexburg) but I talked myself out of it. Mostly it was just another stop in a rather quick trip.

Kara solved that for us. Nathan received a package in the mail yesterday, along with his free book that comes once a month from the Dolly Parton Imagination Library. He wasn't sure what to open first so I suggested the book, partly because I didn't know what Kara had sent and I assumed it was something that we left at her house. We read his book while the box was sitting on his lap - oh the self control that boy has! As soon as we turned to the last page he said "All done, open present".

At first he was a little puzzled, squelching his initial excitement, and matter of factly questioned, "Max's remote??" When I told him that Kara had sent it just for him - to KEEP!, oh the excitement started to ooze.

I hope Christmas goes over this well.

THANKS KARA!!

He even slept with it last night, I know from the Sesame Street voices and sounds that randomly went off during the night, probably from him rolling over.

An Apple a Day . . .

I've found something that Hyrum can munch on and hold by himself.

The apples off of Mom's tree were just the right size for his chubby little paws.

Lip smackin' approval

Meet our Neigh-bors

Nathan, Hyrum and I walked to our back fence last night to visit the horses. This is a great group of calm, friendly animals ready to munch away at any apples or carrots we offer. Nathan was not at all afraid of them, which surprised me considering the size difference.

No fear! I was a whole lot more nervous than Nathan was.

He puts the apple on his hand, palm flat like the neighbor showed him, and then giggles as their puffy, whiskery lips pick up the apple.

We talked about the colt and how it stays very close to it's mommy - just like Nathan and Hyrum should.

Thanks, can we have more???

Sticky Fingers and Shadows

After gobbling down a peanut butter and honey sandwich Nathan picked up a penny - which became just as sticky as his fingers. That penny was the greatest sticker he has ever had! He stuck it on his nose, forehead, chin, and cheeks until it finally lost its sticky-ness.

Once he was done with his penny I managed to convince him that we needed to take off the Tigger costume to wash the honey off. He finally agreed and when I returned from loading up my overworked washing machine, I found Nathan making faces at his own shadow.

I wish I could capture on audio some of the funny things Nathan says, he just doesn't say them when I have the tape rolling. The other day Levi had an orchestra concert so was dressed up in his tux. When Levi walked up the stairs Nathan threw both hands up in the air - palms up, raised his eyebrows and declared in awe, "Wewi yooks yike Jared bu it’s not Jared, it's Wewi". The last time he saw Jared was at his priesthood ordination.

39 Hours

The boys and I left Friday morning to go pick up Erika. She has been at Kara's for the week (since she was out of school for spud harvest break). I missed her! It was fun to see on Kara's blog the pictures of Erika's week. It was all familiar to what she does here (read, make muffins, take care of Hyrum) only she was doing them at Kara's and with baby Max. I'm glad to have her home.

My first stop was at Rilda's for a massage. I was worried about the boys because Derek was going to be watching Justin, Nathan and Hyrum in the Yukon for about 1.5 hours while I had my massage and it was cold! We had everything set up for them to watch a movie on the laptop and I planned it so that Hyrum should sleep most of the time, and if he woke up he was ready to eat and Derek could give him the bottle. I worried for no reason. They had a blast. Nathan even said to me, while pushing me away, "No, go back in". ** And the massage was wonderful. Just what my sore, stressed out body needed.

We got to Utah around 4 and I realized that I didn't have Silvia's phone number any more and she had just moved so I didn't have an address for her. I went to her old apartment and talked to the landlord and we headed over to see the Murillo family. What a great family! On our way home from Utah we stopped there again since Erika was not with us the first time and we were able to spend some more chatter time with them.

Time at Kara's is always chill. We are probably a little overwhelming for the Hill family but we sure appreciate them taking us in for the night. The kids enjoyed watching movies, reading, teasing James and sleeping in.

Our chosen fun for this trip was to go to the new aquarium in Sandy. It wasn't quite what the website had led us to think but it was still fun. The kids enjoyed touching the sting ray, finding all the characters from Finding Nemo and wandering around in the fishy atmostphere. Nathan should have been down for a nap so was a bit of a pill but overall we had a good time.

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I think they were just as impressed with Kara's "huge" library as they were with the aquarium. We stopped at the library in Draper to check out a book on tape for the trip home. It was a life saver considering I have gone over 2 weeks with less than 5 hours sleep each night. We listened to Magyk from the Septimus Heap series. The kids wanted me to drive slower, wanting to get in all 12 hours of audio in the 5 hour trip home.

The weather did help us get through more of the book than we thought we would, though it really just made the trip seem stressful for me as the driver. We saw a truck roll over at the bottom of Malad pass, saw a couple of other slide-off's and had a rude awakening to the fact that winter really is on its way. I'm just not ready for that.

Once everyone was in bed and I was making the nightly lock-all-the-doors-and-start-the-dishwasher rounds I heard a strange sound that I hadn't heard at our house before. As I opened the laundry room window to get a closer listen I saw that we had 2 large owls sitting in our driveway 'talking' to each other. It was so cool! They are pretty loud and their eyes are buggy big!

Nonsense . . .

Trying to put on eyeliner when you have the hiccups does not produce a pretty portrait of female art. You’re more than likely going to poke your eye out …I know this from experience.

One of Kara’s favorite thoughts/quotes is “stand in the wind and eat peanut brittle” from the book Stand in the Wind by Jean Little. A quote I seem to live by is “stand in the kitchen and eat everything” from the book Self Control: Where is it? by Kimber Jo.

If you cut your finger while slicing onions it hurts twice as bad . . the cut and the onion juice in the cut. Also from experience.

Slicing up onions, peppers, celery, and carrots and washing and cutting greens ahead of time is a great idea for easy prep, healthy meals and on the go snacks . . . unless you never pull them out of the fridge again. Then they just mold and go limp.

Watching The Biggest Loser does not shed any pounds off the viewers, particularly me. The Firm slowly brings results while providing the wanna be health nut (me, once again) with sore buns.

Feeding a 6 month old only milk and fresh bananas brings on a smelly case of painful constipation. Switching out the bananas for this years pear crop does cure the constipation . . all over clothes, blankets and baby. At least he was smiling when he did it, unlike the squealing pushing that had been taking place.

If the power goes out during the night for a couple of hours and you don’t have a flashlight with working batteries on hand, take it as a reminder to be prepared for the power to go out. If the power goes out 3 nights in a row and you still don’t have a flashlight with working batteries, you’ve completely failed the emergency preparedness prep course. (We are ready for tonight!)

I let Erika go to Kara’s house for the week. What was I thinking?? I wanna go to Kara’s house for a week!

I wish my biography could be titled “Life of a Jogger: the inspiring woman who jogged her way to good health while keeping her life in balance and order”. Unfortunately it will probably be “Life of a Blogger: the humdrum woman who sat on her duff recording all the nonsense that crossed her mind while her family waited for dinner”.

Ummm . . .

Hello.

My name is Kimber Jo and . . .

I am a foodaholic . . . < < < sigh > > >

I owe Sarah and Terra $10 each

It wasn't even worth it.

In the Hood

My week disappeared. It was consumed by motherhood, office manager-hood, wifehood, sisterhood, neighborhood - basically I have worn alot of 'hoods' this week. It's all good.

A laughing motherhood moment - and a bit of a devilish hair day for Nathan.

Erika and I had a bit of creative crafty time together making a diaper cake for Jessica. It was fun to personalize it to Jess and we were amazed at how different it looked from the one we did for Kara's baby shower. We did the front to look (hopefully) like a baseball cap on the top for Jess and the goodies for her and the baby. The back was done for Jake with a more masculine bow (knot) and a bib.

Then on Saturday Erika and I traveled to Lava for Jess's baby shower. Kara did an awesome job pulling that together in only a week! There were several people there and we all had a bit of a delicious, competitive hour eating, playing Baby Bunko, and showering Jess with gifts.

This picture shows a rather odd position (she is reaching for a gift) but it also shows her cute Kylee belly and a natural Kodak smile. Man, I wish I looked that good 8 months pregnant!

The rest of the week was busy (and still is) with food storage planning, buying, canning and building shelves. That post is still coming later.

All Caught Up

I've not let myself post until I get all of my past posts printed and in my "Bloggy Journal" binder. I had already printed up to March 17, just before Hyrum was born, and wanted to get it current.

I don't actually have March 20th through September printed yet but they are all put together on Word and ready to go . . . all 55 pages!! I have to say I like this kind of journal (especially once it is printed). It was so fun to read back through the last 6 months of posts, look at pictures and laugh with the kids. **Update: It's all printed and in a binder.**

To celebrate my return to posting I just have one very adorable boy to show off:

I love the giggles and cuddles that come after bath time!