Weather Report

I'm not sure if this is just a foggy winter or if there really is more fog in the country than in town but we sure have had a lot of it this year. It gets so thick that we have times of complete white out and we can't see any of our neighbors. The strange thing is that it will come and go in a matter of a few minutes and it is also very patchy. On a drive into town we can leave our house in a complete white out and hit several clear spots during the 5 minute trip.

( LeRoy's new shed out back)

On this particular morning we had a beautiful sunrise and at about 8:00 I thought to myself that maybe it would actually be a sunny day. By 8:56 this is what it looked like.

That is actually the sun trying to show it's face in the fog. Only an hour earlier it was shining in all it's winter glory, giving me a glimmer of hope for a warm day. As usual, it was just another very cold, windy, greyish white, Rexburg day. I don't put much trust in the groundhog and his shadow but I'm not at all surprised at the expected six more weeks of winter.

Useful Information

Who needs Encyclopedias when the internet is available? Evidently we do. We bought a set in 1995 as a new edition set. During the last 13 years it has had such little use that I wonder why we keep it. Now I know why.

Derek and Justin spent an afternoon building towers, huts and bridges. Derek even constructed a bridge tough enough to hold Justin. Probably not good for the books, but at least they are getting used and the boys are having a good time.

Orange ya gonna eat it?

Nathan fell in love with this orange. First he told me, "it matches my shirt! Orange, orange". Then when I told him I would cut it up for him he refused because he didn't want to hurt the orange's nose. He packed it around for a good part of the day until he could no longer deny his hunger and then he still kept a close eye on me as I cut it to make sure that I didn't cut the nose.

Wanted: scratch paper

Justin and Derek are on an oragami kick. They are going through paper like crazy. They have found ideas online, from books at the library and even learned from friends little tricks of the trade. So far they have made boxes, boats, cows, penguins, birds and planes in all different sizes.



They have used up most of their old homework papers (even Levi and Erika's) and are now looking for more paper. Mean mom that I am, I won't let them use the new office paper for the project.

Gymnast Justin

wowed the crowd with his stunts at our Primary Talent Show.

I cringed everytime I heard his feet hit the stage, praying that his ankles would hold out. He probably should have had his shoes on to do it but he's as bad as Erika (and me) when it comes to shoes so barefoot it is. Next time we'll borrow some mats for him.

Stringy Valentine's Day

Six years ago I had the wild idea to use a full skein of yarn per kid and run that yarn all over the house with a Valentine at one and a red treasure at the other end. Every year it has fallen on a school day so I could string up the house while the kids were at school and the party began after school and went through dinner. Keeping the tradition alive on a Saturday took some early morning effort on my part but it was so worth the surprise. The kids hadn't mentioned it at all so I asked them afterward if they had been expecting it. For some reason they didn't think we would do it at our new house or on a Saturday. Hah! Well, the tradition lives on.

I started at 6am. It took me a full hour set up the table for breakfast and to string up all 6 skeins of yarn. By the time I was finished I felt like I had spent the hour doing squats and stairs. It's hard to get a picture of the colorful spider web of yarn but believe me it was beautiful. The stairs is where I could get the best picture because each person crossed the stairs twice.

Justin had a primary activity at 10 so after I had spent an hour and a half keeping Nathan out of the string we finally woke everyone else up. There were teenage grumbles of "it's only 8:30" or "it's Saturday!" but they got up anyway. The sleepy, groggy kids that stumbled out of bed were soon enthusiastically winding up yarn as they covered the whole house on a Valentine treasure hunt. Nathan didn't know what would be at the end but he had a great time leading LeRoy along the green string that was labeled his.

I wondered if Levi was to old for this tradition but he assured me several time throughout the day that this is his "favorite holiday tradition ever". Justin's favorite part is that I make it difficult by winding and weaving around anything and everything I can.

This was the first year that LeRoy was a part of our stringy mess. Usually he is at work so it has always been something between the kids and I. He was surprised to find at the end of Nathan's string that there was a gift for him as well. I ordered personalized M-n-M's for him that had our picture as well a 2 different LeRoy sayings on them. He loves them! He called his dad to tell him about them. He told several of our neighbors at the primary activity about them. He is taking a bag of them to Montana to show all the guys. Luckily they came in 3 individual bags so he has opened one up to eat, the other one will be displayed on his nightstand (probably forever, or until Nathan sneaks off with them) and he's saving the other one for who knows what. We'll probably serve them to our grandkids at our 50th wedding anniversary.

Erika immediately changed into her new pajama pants

Derek was thrilled with his tongue depressors (225 of them) and roll of masking tape. He has already built a house, 2 tanks and a truck, 2 catapults and a bow and arrow set.

Nathan has stayed plenty warm indoors with his new Elmo hat and gloves.

Levi is all ready for a 6 hour flight with his travel size Guitar Hero.

Justin's addiction to hoodies lives on in red.

FHE Birthday

Among the craziness of getting 4 hours of office work done, exercising, sister phone time, scouts and my little boys, I spent a good part of Monday in the kitchen fulfilling Justin's very detailed birthday requests:

* please bring No-Bake cookies to school for my class, at least 32
* for dinner can we have meatloaf, baked potatoes, homemade bread, oh yeah, and purple jello?

It sounds a bit like the kid is starving but really he just soaked in the joy of choosing all the food for the day. Yet, when asked what he wanted as a gift, "I don't know" was his response every time.

We had a bit of a party for Justin and all went bowling for FHE. I think my boys have played pool to long and are used to bank shots. Levi was able to catch on video some of Derek and Justin doing wild shots as they bounced the bowling ball off of the bumpers 2 or 3 times and still managed to get strikes and spares that way. This one is Justin . . . (sorry the lighting is so bad)

Just for the record: I beat everyone with a spectacular score of 135. Ok, so it isn't that spectacular but since I rarely make it over 100 it ranks up there with Olympic gold in my mind.

Nathan tried bowling once and declared "that's not very fun". He spent most of the evening around the corner jumping around on the Dance Dance Revolution pad as it cycled through a demo.

After we finished bowling Erika and I went head to head - or rather foot to foot - on the DDR. It was my very first time. Since Erika chose the level and the music we did a pretty fast paced, upbeat dance. I can now see why people lose weight with that thing if they do it daily. It was great fun and oodles of laughs for my kids. Sorry, the video of that will remain in the Edwards Family Archives for my grandchildren to some day make fun of.

Happy Birthday Justin!

Justin is such a great brother, reader, gymnastic-er, scouter, laugher, writer and smiler!

I can't believe he is 10 and will be in middle school next year! It boggles my mind to think that he was temporarily our last. Life would be so different and . . . incomplete. Justin seems to defy a good part of the theories on middle child syndrome. Being the baby for 7 years somewhat solidified his playful, entertaining, bat the eyes and get what you want 'cuz you're cute position in the family. We wouldn't have it any other way.

Was it really only 2 weeks?

It feels like I have lived a month in 2 weeks. Having LeRoy in Montana for 2 weeks and only being home on the weekends has left me with a little more responsibility at home (like locking up at night, taking the garbage to the road, taking the mail out, you know . . all that little stuff that he does that makes my part easier) and feeling more vulnerable to the manipulations of teenagers and toddlers with no backup showing up every night. As I look back on it, it has gone by rather quickly but living it just seems to drag on.

One of the hardest times of the day was putting Nathan to bed. He would constantly fight me and yell, "no, daddy snug me in bed". How could I be upset? But it is a little upsetting when he just needs to go to bed. So we created a routine that he would call his dad at night right before bed. The conversations were priceless, at least from what I was allowed to listen in on before he instisted that I leave the room so he could "talka dad".

"Daddeeee! You're my tigger buddy. Dood. Playing wif Hiam. Read stories. I watch tars (Cars). I yike Yightning Matween. I don't yike dinner. No, I don't yike it. I yuv you too. I yuv you most. No I yuv you most. Otay. I don't wanna be dood. Otay. Hiam trying (crying). I not tired. I yuv you too. Tell Yiddle Yam (Little Lamb) night night. See y'ater. Bye."

I wish I could record moments like these but if I pull out the camera he gets mad because he's "talking to dad" and doesn't want me. It's been like this since he was an infant. This kid just really likes his dad.

Thankfully we have LeRoy in town this week but then he will be gone again for the next two. After that I will be leaving for nine days. Will anyone miss me tucking them in bed at night?

That Old Familiar Feeling . . .

(Feb 16) I wrote this 2 weeks ago but decided not to actually post it because it was whiny and unnecessary for a blog (which it still it, but hopefully most people won't notice the backpost). Here I am again at 5:25 with all the same worries. LeRoy just left for the week and already, even after determining last night that I wouldn't do this again, my mind has started running through the list of what-if's. I don't know how to stop it. I try praying but that seems to validate the possibility of it all coming true, and I worry that I haven't prayed enough to keep it from happening, and yet trying to ignore it just seems to press it to the front of my thoughts even more, making the what-if's even more drastic than they were to start with. I can't go back to sleep until I know he is safe, otherwise all of my worries turn into disturbing dreams that seem so real and waking up from it leaves me really ornery. That doesn't start the day any better than just staying up. Spiritual logic tells me that it's lack of faith (or insanity) but I don't know how to flip the switch from fear to faith. Aghhh, frustrating! Luckily, the kids don't have school today and I should be able to get a short nap even if the little boys don't nap at the same time.

(Feb 2) LeRoy left for Montana about 15 minutes ago, it is 5:ish am and I have that familiar worried pit in my stomach. I know I won't be able to go back to sleep, I've been here before.

In 1998 LeRoy spent almost 9 months working on the Old Faithful Lodge. He would leave Sunday evenings around 6pm and return home Saturdays about 5. In that brief 23 hours I would wash and repack all of his clothes, refill his cooler with a weeks worth of 1 man meals I had put together all day on Saturday, we would go to church on Sunday and he would play with the kids for a couple of hours. And then he would be gone again. Levi was 6, Erika 4 and Derek was not quite 2. Back then the experience was difficult in so many ways but the part that is suddenly so familiar is the time that I knew he was traveling and the hours of waiting, praying that he would get there/home safely. I also went through this for almost 4 years while he worked in Jackson Hole, leaving every morning at 5 am and half of that was during winter months when Jackson pass is nearly impassable (or impossible, depending on how you want to look at it).

So this 2 weeks in no way compares to that time in my life except for the fact that he is gone all week and of course that sickening feeling of knowing that he has just left on slick roads at 5am. The pacing around the house worrying and nearly panicking until he calls is not productive but I don't know how to just ignore it. It doesn't help that last week they were in an accident and I didn't get my phone call until around 10:30 (not 8 as promised) and all the times that I tried calling him I just got voicemail because he was in the mountains of Montana. So the accident "wasn't a big deal" and I "don't have to worry" according to LeRoy but going off the road is going off the road and it can happen again just as easily.

Just to give you an idea of how messed up I get over this: I imagine up every possible scenario during that 3 hour wait. What if he is injured, what if he can't work, what if he dies, is the insurance in order, what do I do if the 5 employees are also injured/killed, who do I call first, do I pull the kids out of school, who could watch the babies for me while I take care of details, how will I live without him, how do I keep his memory alive for the kids, what if he flies off the mountain and no one can find him . . .

Ok - you get the idea. It's not pretty. Since I did this a week ago you'd think I'd just have a list ready and wouldn't have to worry about it again. Nope. He made it last week, now I must worry about it again this week. I am grateful in all this that he is only traveling there and back once each week, not daily. It is tough having him gone for the whole week, but I am a mess when every morning starts like this, I remember from the Jackson days.

I'm grateful for the work right now, I'll just be glad when trips to Montana and Island Park are done for the winter. Or I guess I should say when winter is over because the trips won't stop.

Now that I've mulled over memories, fears and emotions through this typing exercise I see how ridiculous it is. Not that knowing it stops all the crazy mind stuff, or the pacing, or the knotty dark hole in my stomach, but I think I'll go read my book and dive into someone else's life for the next hour before I get the kids up.

It will be a good day . . . right?? Please Heavenly Father, keep him safe!

Monsters and Books

I was watching Nathan jump on my bed (we don't fluff the pillows but the mattress gets a work over just about daily), and I became a little jealous of his imagination. His arms were punching in rhythm with the jumping in Ty-Bo like moves and as he faced the mirror on the dresser he'd make mean faces and punching sounds. I asked what he was doing and he replied "I'm beating Randal".

Randal and Zerg are the two monsters that he must face each night as he goes to bed, even though we have defeated them the night before and both Monsters Inc and Toy Story have been removed from Nathan's viewing choices.

Why can't I just jump on the bed and punch out my monster fears?

LeRoy went to check on the boys during our nightly rounds and found Nathan sitting behind his door, which was about half way open, sound asleep with a handful of books surrounding him. I couldn't help but grin as LeRoy told me this, remembering myself hiding behind a door to read with the light coming from the next room. LeRoy's comment, "well we know which parent he doesn't get that from". I only wish I could have seen it!

This isn't the first time Nathan has fallen asleep with a book . . .

taken almost a year ago.