Christmas Vacation 2011

Our final school "thing" to get done before Christmas break was Nathan's program.  I let the older kids skip the last hour of school and we all attended it together.  Having the entire elementary school sing and dance and read to us was the perfect way to begin our holly, jolly vacation.

Our family home evening before Christmas had a BIG surprise!  Santa showed up!!  Nathan and Hyrum were speechless, until Santa took them in his lap to get their wish list.  He told Nathan that he had LeRoy on the naughty list but wondered if he could move him to the nice list.  Nathan paused as he lifted one eyebrow, looking to the ceiling in his thinking pose and then responded, "I think you should".

Christmas Eve brought the traditional pajama party which was new to Vivien.  The kids always get excited to open their new jammies but it was more fun this year to share the tradition with someone Vivien.  She took more pictures than I did and immediately sent them to her mom and sister.

Christmas morning began with a wonderful breakfast made by LeRoy, Nathan and Hyrum.  What a Sunday treat!  Going to church seemed to be the perfect way to celebrate Christmas!
 

After church the kids changed back into their pajamas and we opened gifts.  Smiles all around!!

Naps, books, games and of course candy canes, that's what Christmas is made of . . .

Some of my favorite pictures from the holiday:  

The kids were wondering what LeRoy would look like with hair so I took my pony tail and draped it over the top of his head.  Bald isn't so bad after all!  Justin and I couldn't get enough of each other.  He'd pull a prank on me, I'd attempt to get even and we usually ended up in a tickling wresting match until we were laughing so hard we were crying.  Vivien was attached to a Santa hat from the Christmas bin and wore it for most of the two weeks we had off.

  

The most touching part of Christmas was when we gave Vivien her stocking.  Each of us have a stocking that was cross-stitched either by my Grandma Hawkins or my mom.  I didn't want Vivien to feel left out so in November I asked mom if she could do a simple one for Vivien.  She took several patterns and put them together to create an original that would be meaningful for her year in the USA and still hold meaning when she went back to Slovakia.  During FHE when we pulled out our stocking and hung them, Vivien got quiet and seemed a little distant but when I handed hers to her she was SO HAPPY!  She hugged it and gently ran her fingers over it and took pictures of it and hugged it some more.

Chicago

July 2011

Erika and I were invited by the Madison C.A.R.E.S. program to go to Chicago for a System of Care Conference.  It was to be an all expense paid, six day trip with two days of touring and four days of classes, meetings and dinners.  The classes were much better than I had ever expected and both Erika and I were very grateful for the opportunity to go.  It was also a first time privilege for Erika and I to have a week with just the two of us, no home or family responsibilities.  We had a wonderful time sharing with each other what we learned in the classes and touring around Chicago on our free time.  Erika was asked to read her poem "Picture Perfect Girl" at the final assembly after which she received a standing ovation and a fan club.  The director of the conference pulled Erika aside and asked if he could put her poem in a book of stories, poems and songs they had collected from survivors of crime, abuse, depression, and anxiety.

On our way to Chicago we met Gaylynn and Jaron Bean traveling from the Sugar City School and they became our touring budddies.

 Gaylynn, Jaron, Erika, Kimberly

The first day we were there we took a three hour segway tour of Chicago.  That's the way to go!!  Those motorized segways were FUN and it saved us from miles and miles of walking in the heat.  We saw great architecture, learned a bit of history, waded in Lake Michigan and lost a few pounds sweating away in the humidity.  At the Abraham Lincoln statue our tour guide wanted us to go rub Abe's foot for good luck.  We did it for the picture and to see how huge the statue was up close but didn't give much thought to the "good luck" part.  However, luck was coming our way!

We didn't want to pass up the opportunity to have Chicago deep dish pizza so after a few referrals from locals we wandered our way to a popular hangout.  Erika and I were both a bit disappointed in the pizza but the air conditioning was top notch!

We wandered around a few popular places that we had seen in movies.  We felt pretty special visiting "The Bean" with the Beans.  Erika and Jaron were a bit giddy as they raced around a wooded area catching fireflies while Gaylynn and I parked it on a bench in the shade.  We completely left our comfort zone to take an evening walk through Millennium Park.  By the time we left I'm pretty sure we were a little bit high from the haze of drugs and nicotine that lingered in the air.  We were impressed with the acoustics of the park with a rather small stage covering such a large listening audience and no matter where we went around the park we could hear the numbing drone of the lifeless band that had everyone hypnotized . . . or again, it could have been the drugs.

We tried to get out of the park before dark but  had wandered quite a distance to see a couple of beautiful water fountains shown on our map of must-see places.  Because we were in a hurry to get out of the area so foreign to our Idahoan and LDS nature, we followed Jaron's suggestion and quickly went under the freeway to get to the other side of town where our hotel was.  I have never hung on to one of my children so tightly or been afraid for our lives like that.  It was the creepiest feeling ever to wonder if beyond any pillar someone would grab us and we would end up on some Dateline unsolved mystery episode.  Once we made it back to a safer part of town - our hotel ROOM - we had time to review what we saw and I have to say the conditions that the homeless people under the freeway were living in and what they looked like nearly broke my heart.  I can't imagine living in that fear on a daily basis and can almost understand why they try to numb themselves through drugs and alcohol.

Our favorite safe place to wander was Navy Pier.  The indoor Crystal Gardens smelled like a fresh garden instead of an ash tray and had fans blowing a perfect air conditioned breeze around us.  It was hard not to drag a pillow there and ditch the hotel. We had a good laugh at all the Forrest Gump stuff and found LeRoy's birthday present at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. restaurant and souvenir shop.  We cringed at a really bad karaoke act and giggled like little girls at the funny clown doing magic tricks with an audience of wide eyed kids.  For a while we just sat in the garden and people watched.  It felt like we were visiting a foreign country - or a mixture of foreign countries.

After nearly suffocating us with deadly heat and humidity for the week, Chicago decided to give us another show.  The rain started on Friday which left an even muggier feeling in the air but that didn't stop us from using up all of our touring time.  We figured out (or rather, asked a lot of strangers about) the bus system and managed to only get lost once as we headed to the Shedd Aquarium for an air conditioned, relaxing tour of water creatures.  The bus dropped us of about two blocks from the Aquarium but in that two blocks we ended up looking like water-logged rats.  I have never seen rain like that before!  We stopped for about ten minutes under a bridge but could tell that the rain was not letting up so we took off our shoes (Erika actually had shoes on) and we ran as fast as we could on wet concrete sidewalks to the next bridge.

The first bridge:

The second bridge was so crowded with people that there was hardly room for us and we decided that we couldn't get much more wet than we already were so we ran all the way to the front door of the aquarium.  The doorman laughed and shook his head as we splashed into the building. With clothes sticking to us, barefoot, dripping wet we walked up to the ticket counter as if it was normal to look that way and laughed right along with the ladies behind the counter as Erika animatedly retold our last 20 minutes.   Our favorite exhibits in the aquarium were the trained sea-lion, the waddling penguins and the dolphin show.  By the time we were done with our three hour tour of creatures from around the world we were nearly dry.

Shedd Aquarium t-shirt for Justin:

 

With weather that had drained us of every ounce of energy we could muster and a VERY early flight home the next morning, we headed to bed early.  After tossing and turning for a few hours (both from excitement of the past week and anxiety of our flights the next day) we agreed to just get up and get going. We went to the lobby to catch the earliest shuttle to the airport so we would at least be there awake instead of attempting to sleep with the worries of not being there on time.  We left the hotel at 3am and what was supposed to be a 45 minute ride turned into a 3 hour detour. The rain throughout the night had flooded all the freeways leading into the airport and flights had all been delayed for the entire night and early morning.  Luckily, our shuttle driver was born and raised in Chicago and one of the women that we picked up on our way to the airport was a flight attendant.  Between the two of them they led our shuttle through back streets and scary neighborhoods to bypass the closed freeways and drop us out fairly close to the airport and at 6am they dumped us out to defend ourselves in complete airport chaos.

The airport looked like a winter holiday rush of canceled flights like I have only seen on the news.  It was so packed full of people who had been delayed.  It was a mess!  There were lines everywhere but we didn't know what line to stand in and when we asked those standing in line they weren't sure what line they were in either.  We stood back and observed for about a half hour and then weaseled our way to where we thought we should go.  As we made our way to our gate and found our 8am flight on time we had to acknowledge that we were truly "led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things we should do".  What could have turned into a two-day trip home with changed flights and multiple complications was simple and easy with minor inconveniences along the way.  The craziness of it only added a good story to end our Chicago adventures rather than smother out the fun memories we made together.

So, how did Abe Lincoln's lucky foot live up to it's reputation?  We were VERY lucky to make great friends!  We were lucky that we didn't die in the heat and humidity that was causing such an uproar on the news and had people hospitalized.  We certainly lucked out as we ran in fear from the terrors of the dark, creepy, homeless, substance abuse filled underpass.  We were lucky to make it to the airport and very lucky to make it onto our ticketed flight.  We were lucky to have the time together.

OR

We were very, very blessed by our Heavenly Father for the opportunity to spend mother/daughter time together to build funny, scary, happy memories and getting to know each other.

When we landed in Idaho Falls and they opened the plane door we could NOT stop smiling and breathing in the clean, humidity free 90 degree weather.  It was a lung of fresh air after the 116 degree heat index that we had just survived.  We loved our time in the big city but we were happy to walk off the plane in little hometown Idaho.

Chores

The young adults in our home are very responsible when it comes to laundry  

Utah With Vivien and Justin

February 18, 2012

I had the opportunity to go to a sealing in SLC and decided to take Vivien and Justin for a mini-vacation.  While I was at the sealing the two of them wandered temple square and (I hope) stayed out of trouble . . . though with the two of them together there had to be some kind of mischief involved.

The sealing was beautiful!  Hollie and Grant had adopted a baby girl and she was being sealed to them.  It was endearing to watch their two little boys be so protective of their sister and seeing the family all together was a very touching experience knowing their struggles to have those three children with them.

After temple square we made our way to an underground pizza place that we had been told about.  Though the pizza wasn't that great, the graffiti was.  We had a good time getting some pictures, being silly and making memories.

We stayed at Kara's house for the weekend and on Sunday morning Justin and Vivien spent some time playing with Max and Zane.  I always love seeing my teens entertain the toddlers.

  

Valentine's Day 2012

Part of our Valentine's Day tradition is to start a week early for FHE and to have a box on the table throughout the week leading up to V-Day with envelopes that we have decorated and hearts to leave notes for each other.  The kids love reading the notes from each other and it is a good exercise for them to spend a week thinking of things that they love about each other.  We also did a heart for the Valentine's FHE with Jesus Christ as the center heart and each of us  having a piece that completed the heart around it.

We held to our 9 year tradition which did not disappoint the kids.  I love spending the hour stringing up my house with different colors of yarn to surprise each of my kids with a little their own little treasure hunt and goodie box of love.  Preparing for Valentine's Day is more fun for me that getting ready for Christmas.

It was fun to have first-timers Bret and Vivien with us for the string round up and to hear the kids enthusiastically tell of years past and how it gets more and more difficult each year.  They thought it was quite fun though Vivien was torn between trying to take pictures and winding her own string up.

It get a little tricky to follow each kid to be there for their candid smiles when they get to the end of their string with each of them ending in different spots.  I love seeing how excited they are for colorful socks, a 1x3 cube to solve, red sweets and a card.  I'm not sure if they loves the strings or the goodies more.

I didn't want to leave Levi out on Valentine's Day and I did offer to run a string from our house to his apartment (which he almost took me up on and I TOTALLY would have done - I'm that crazy) but instead I just took a Valentine box over to him.  He had texted me earlier in that week wondering if I was making lasagna any time soon, which I took as a hint that he was hungry and wanted real food.  This box didn't give him home cooked food but knowing that he was shy on groceries and this would be a step up from Raman I figured he wouldn't complain.  As he took everything out and layed it on his table I swear he almost started to drool.  He was thrilled and his roommates were convinced that it was the coolest Valentine gift ever.

My gift for LeRoy went along with a little joke that has been going on between us for the last 18 years.  When LeRoy started working as an electrician and taking lunches every day he became a little addicted to Little Debbie treats (they make me want to gag but they are cheap and he loves them so I won't tell him that).  When he started to complain about putting on a few pounds I teased him that his constant affair with Little Debbie was what was doing him in.  It hasn't stopped him all these years (and pounds) later.  Even the kids know about his "affair" and will tease him.

When I saw these pillow cases I read them a little differently than most people might.  I didn't get them to make sure that he knew that I am always right but rather that he would have an every day reminder that even though he still fosters his daily affair with Debbie that I am always his Mrs. Right.  He laughed and laughed, took pictures with his phone and laughed some more. Now he occasionally calls me Mrs. Always Right and he puffs his chest out just a little when I call him Mr. Right.

Justin's 13th Birthday

February 9, 2012

Justin's Epic Ninja Birthday was a hit from the moment he entered the door and saw his decorations.  He did a ninja kick and Hi-Ya for us to show his enthusiasm and couldn't stop repeating "this is so cool!"  The only tragedy to follow his party was found five days later when I pulled out the camera to photograph Valentine's Day and found that all of my camera settings were different and all of the pictures from Justin's party had been deleted.  We won't blame anyone because we wouldn't want Hyrum to carry that burden for his whole life.  Luckily, Vivien took a few pictures of the party.  The fifteen or so pictures that she took do very well to fill in the gap of fifty or so pictures that were lost in some digital black hole.

The epic ninja soda and rice krispie sushi with a side kick of wasabi (shelled pistacios) were the visual main attractions of our themed meal but Justin's all time favorite fried rice and soy sauce kebobs gave us some substance to bellies.

We had everyone wear black shirts and I had made monogrammed headbands using left over flannel from pajamas that I had made for Levi several years ago.  I've never seen my boys so thrilled about such a simple get-up.  My plan was to get a family picture with everyone.  We moved the table out of the way, all had our black shirts and headbands and Vivien (exchange student) and Bret (Erika's fiance) were with us to give us our most current family picture.  Unfortunately, those pictures did not survive the delete button and what we have left are a few shots of the boys trying out their chop sticks while I set up the tripod and got the camera ready - which Vivien took pictures of.  Again, I'm glad we have what we have.

It was fun to do a simple cake with real throwing stars.  It was simple but fit the occasion and Justin loved it. 

That night Justin, Derek and Vivien hung the pull-up bar that we gave him for his birthday.  The next morning there were many sore arms from the competitions that went well into the night.

Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel

March 29, 2012

I did my best to shoulder all that needed to be done but now I'm left with a useless limb and regret for pushing it to that point.

My right shoulder has been bothering me for about 3 weeks now but this week (after mixing 3 batches of jam, cleaning out the garage, moving some furniture around and doing yard work) I have lost nearly all use of my right arm. It was pretty stable at the annoying pain level with the majority of the pain focused only on the top of my shoulder and only when I raised it to chest height or was lifting/pushing something. Now it has graduated to full muscle weakness with very limited range of motion, tingling and stabbing pain down my bicep, and shooting pain heading into my neck and down the back of my shoulder. I decided I better quit ignoring the increasing pain and have it looked at.

Dr. Diagnosis: a “Grade II Strain” or in other words “a partial tear in the muscle or tendon of the supraspinatus" (one of the rotator cuff muscles). I have 1-2 weeks of physical therapy and then gradual recovery and increased range of motion.

My conclusion: physical therapy is PAINFUL!

Day 1 of PT: I wish I could say it feels better but I just want to strap this tingly, throbbing, heavy limb to my torso and perfect my left hand skills. I still need to use it on a “very limited” level to prevent my muscles from becoming stiff so it's taped up for a little support but no sling or brace is involved. There is no visual sign of an injury except for the constant cringing when I try to do anything. My 32 oz. water bottle weighs too much, raising my forearm above 90 degrees is too far and changing shirts is probably going to be impossible. Doing my hair is out of the question unless I figure out how to do it all left handed/one handed. I wonder if the PT will notice if I wear the same shirt or don't do my hair for the next two weeks.

At this point any movement leaves me fighting back tears. I've tried reading but I keep falling asleep. Now I have my arm rested on my laptop and have found that using only my fingers is pretty close to pain free and I have to admit that I'm not all that bad at running the mouse pad with my left hand. I’m not good for much else today.

I'm really, really, really hoping tomorrow is a little (or dare I hope for a lot) better.

March 11, 2012

I have struggled the last few days. My kids aren't bad, they are actually really great, I'm just low on patience and a bit grumpy.

Today in Primary, I had an experience that reminded me of one of the basics that I had let fall from my routine.

During sharing time we listened to short conference spots (stories) from the three members of the first presidency (Presidents Monson, Eyring, Uchtdorf). Just hearing their voices calmed me down. I could feel my squinted eyes and face relax, my shoulders and neck released the tension and I felt like I was breathing again. In just a matter of minutes I felt completely different inside. The grumpy was replaced with gratitude.

When I had a few minutes to myself to think about the experience, I realized that it has been almost 2 weeks since I have listened to a conference talk. I had been in the habit of listening to a talk each morning on my Ipod while making breakfast and everyone else was sleeping but when Derek, Vivien and I started running in the mornings and I was making breakfast with them in the kitchen, I got out of the habit of doing it.

Life and Laziness. That's all I can blame it on.

I really believe that listening daily to the words of the prophets helps me to focus and stay in tune with the spirit when dealing with all the mothering responsibilities and decisions I face every day. I absolutely love being a mother. No Buts About It. However, (not but) it is really hard on me emotionally. I always handle all that emotional mumbo jumbo better when I am on course spiritually.

I look forward to General Conference coming up in a few weeks. It always leaves me feeling loved and motivated with a boost to each {spiritual} step I take and the daily decisions I make.

Nathan Faith

February 2012

It seems like Nathan gives a primary talk at least once a month. He also frequently gives the article of faith during primary because he volunteers to do it for those who are missing. Memorizing comes easy to him and he grasps onto gospel principles so quickly. Though he is a child of great faith he still occasionally struggles with the extreme shyness that we saw in his first three years. Each time he has a talk we make it a point to get to church early so that he can practice in the primary room.

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Levi got his hair cut. It has been long for almost 2 years now and he did it short. Mostly because the girl he likes wanted to do it short and was the one cutting it. He was shy about it when he came out and I'm not sure he quite likes it yet but I love being able to see his eyes again.

After he got in the car and Nathan, Hyrum and I all complimented him on how great it looked, Nathan said to him, "are you going to start choosing the right and repent now?" Levi chuckled and replied, "maybe buddy". I love that about Levi. He may not have any intention on changing anything besides the hair but he doesn't argue with his little brothers over comments like this, he even encourages them in a way. He also didn't have his earrings in when he got in the car. Seeing his earrings was one of the reasons that I was nervous about the short hair. They just really don't seem to work on Levi. But, he didn't have them in when his little brothers saw him. He is very open about his opinions and choices but he is careful about what his youngest brothers see and hear from him. I appreciate that.

We drove Levi home and dropped him off. As he walked towards his building he turned around to wave again. I think he could feel me watching him. He is so good looking, so good hearted, so kind. His smile and eyes melt my motherly heart. I couldn't help but watch him for just a few minutes longer. He grinned in that knowing my-mommy-loves-me-way, waved again and walked in the door. As we drove off Nathan stated "I think our prayers are working, mom".

Nathan never forgets to pray for Levi. He uses his own phrases and changes them up frequently. Some of his latest prayers for Levi include, "that will find good friends; that he will make good choices; that he will remember that Jesus loves him; that he will remember that he is a child of God."

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We were doing a family home evening lesson on choices and the consequences that come from those choices - for good or bad. We were also briefly covering the atonement and how that helps us to correct wrong choices. After explaining the atonement in the simplest terms I could Nathan said, "it's just like Mrs. Parker says, do it nice or do it twice."
~Mrs. Parker is his Kindergarten teacher

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The little boys having a particularly hard time with each other one morning. I don't like you anymore, you're mean, you're not my friend anymore, go away . . . all the theme of their conversations. After trying to remind them about feelings, being like Jesus, choosing the right and finally leaving them to fight it out while I put some laundry in, Nathan came to me. He calmly stated that he had told Hyrum he still loves him even though he is being mean. He then asked me, "do you know why I did that?" Why? "Because of this" and he held up his middle finger. After a brief moment of shock wondering why my five year old was flipping me off, I realized that he was showing me his CTR ring. We hugged, I thanked him for choosing the right and told him I was sure Heavenly Father and Jesus were proud of him. He then looked at me very seriously and said, "we need to get Hyrum a CTR ring."

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After a brief boring spell following weekly parties at our house for some kind of holiday or birthday or social thing, Nathan seemed to be looking for a reason to party. Or so I thought. He asked when Harrison's birthday is. We looked it up from his kitten immunizations and figured out that he was born sometime in the first week of June. I thought he would be disappointed that we still wouldn't be having a party that week but I was put in my place when he declared with big eyes, "we need to plan his baptism." Nathan knows that Harrison is two years older than he is, which would mean our cat will be eight this year. I never imagined that I would need to teach a child why we don't baptize animals. His new eternal goal is to live with Heavenly Father and Harrison.

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During testimony meeting Nathan leaned over to inform me that he was going next. I've learned to never doubt his courage when it shows up but sometimes it does catch me off guard. When the person speaking finished, Nathan stood up and crossed in front of me only to turn around and sit down again. He looked up with pleading eyes. I asked him if he wanted me to go with him but reminded him that I wouldn't tell him what to say, I would just stand by him. He shook his head no, stating again that he would go up next. He really tried. I could almost see his giant spirit willing his nervous, socially quiet body to do it. After three attempts he finally whispered to me, "can I just tell my testimony to you?" So that week he did share his testimony. It was not the typical memorized child testimony that we hear so often but a few thoughts from Nathan on what he believes is right and true and what is important to him.

I am so blessed to know this amazing, wonderful son of God.

Favorites from Kahlil Gibran

On Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

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On Pain

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.


Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

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On Joy and Sorrow

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

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Love that is washed by tears will remain eternally pure and faithful.