Snakes and Alligators

January 2013

Levi and Daymia took Nathan and Hyrum sledding on the ten foot drop behind our house.

Nathan doesn't like his hands to be cold or doing face plants in the snow so he only lasted for about thirty minutes and came inside.  Hyrum, however, can have his fingers purple and freezing off and will not come in so I wasn't surprised when he stayed out for much longer.  I couldn't see them in the back anymore but figured he was fine as long as he was with Levi and Daymia.

When he came back in I got a very dramatic telling of his adventure.  Evidently, he would stand still for a minute, point, and say "that way" and they would go wherever he pointed.  With eyes wide and hands waving in wild expression he told me about the snakes and alligators that were about to eat him when he fell in some deep snow.  After repeating himself several times, warming his fingers up, and a nice cup of hot cocoa he admitted, "we was just attending (pretending)".  

Daymia and her new Christmas camera captured really great pictures of my boys! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Levi is 21!!!!  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't know if he would think this was silly but at 7:45 when he got up for work and opened his door he said he was going to originally just use his arm to break it all out of the way.  Instead, he backed up and ran through it.  Good morning and happy birthday!

The day was fairly uneventful.  After a court hearing he was put on probation for a year and most of his friends have moved away so he spends his time working with LeRoy, hanging out with us or spending time with Daymia.  LeRoy and I took Levi and Daymia to Applebees for a birthday lunch where Daymia held up the alcohol menu and gloated "21 and you can't even have any" (due to probation). I love that girl! 

After helping him clean his room the week prior, Daymia had suggested I get Levi a garbage can for his room.  Since not much else was coming to mind I gave him a black garbage can that I pasted a picture of Oscar the Grouch onto with the phrase "Levi's Garbage". 

I also gave him a sticker.  The sticker comes with a past.  When Levi was in about the 4th grade he used to ask me what I would do if....and then he would add the most random, unlikely thing he would (or even could) do.  For example, while driving along the freeway he'd ask, "what would you do if I opened the door right now and got up on top of the van?" or during a bored winter moment, "what would you do if I stuck a pen in that light socket?"  My reply was always the same, "I'd put a stupid sticker on your forehead".  It was a running joke with us for several years and as time went by his "what if's" became even more creative, 007-ish and funny.  Well, in my mind he has spent the last three years doing some pretty stupid things and I figured a 21st birthday was a good time to award the sticker. 

  

I printed it on sticker paper and even gave him extras.  It was good for laughs but more than that I hope 21 will be a new start for him and his stupid moments will be less dangerous for his body, mind, spirit and freedom.

An Edwards Family Christmas

When LeRoy jokingly mentioned in October that we should go to Texas for Christmas it surprised both of us when I responded that I thought it was a great idea.  Maybe it's because the October winds were taunting me with the surety of the cold, grey months ahead and the thought of a warm week in the middle of winter was too enticing to pass up.  I don't think LeRoy really believed that I was serious until I started printing off possible places to go and spent hours on the computer with the boys planning our week there.  The boys were even thrilled with the idea, not even mumbling a complaint of no gifts to open or snow to freeze in or the 48 hours that would be spent traveling.

We LOVED our Christmas vacation in the south!  It was the best trip I have ever taken to Texas and I'm even willing to go there again next Christmas.  We had so much fun getting acquainted (and re-acquainted) with cousins, playing games, eating foods that cannot be found in Idaho, going to Lego Land, wandering through the Sea Life Aquarium and even the travel time was fun...no seriously, it was the perfect Christmas gift to spend all that time together.

On Sunday we went to the Weatherford Branch for church.  It was such a neat experience!  The Christmas program offered by the branch took nearly every person participating and it was impressive to see how close they were as a ward family.  We immediately felt welcome and at home.  They all speak so highly of Dad (who serves as the executive secretary) and many (including children) expressed their love for Cynthia Darlene and her service in primary (because of the small numbers in the branch she teaches the 4-8 years olds in one class).

After church LeRoy took us over to his old neighborhood and showed us the house he spent his rebellious, trouble making teenage years in.  They all got out and walked around it peeking in windows.  Luckily, it was empty or they would have knocked on the door and asked for a tour.  I was also glad we were there right after church so that LeRoy's CTR subconscious was in full order, preventing him from breaking in. He also showed us the building where the Mineral Wells Branch used to meet.  That was the first time I saw a branch or any LDS members meeting anywhere but in the traditional LDS chapel.  What an experience that was. Shortly after we were married the branch was combined with the Mineral Wells Branch.

We also went over to the old Army barracks to show the boys.  They climbed all through the old, empty buildings.  I couldn't decide if they looked too innocent to be trouble in their church duds or if they looked more like clean cut mob imitations.  I stayed in the van (using my lack of pants as my excuse) and kept an eye out for the local police since the fence next to the barracks was the yard fence for the local prison.

Dad and Cynthia didn't go to church with us because Dad was still very weak from the previous month trying to overcome e-coli poisoning and they were still doing blood tests to make sure that his other organs were functioning properly.  When I first saw him it was the first time that he looked like he had aged in the 22 years I have known him.  Luckily, he is blessed with a wonderful woman to take care of him.  Cynthia spoiled us like a perfect grandma.  She had a kitchen full of delicious foods including all the fudge, cookies, pies, cakes and sweets that go along with Christmas and half the room was full of wrapped presents surrounding their Christmas tree, all with labels for us and the other cousins.  It was wonderful after two days of travel food to sit down to a delicious home cooked, made with love meal.

After our bellies were filled we played games.  Dad and Levi even convinced LeRoy to play poker with them.  We were all shocked since he had thrown away his poker set when we were in Texas during General Conference and President Hinckley counseled against playing poker.  His upbringing, the peer-pressure from his Dad and oldest son and the fact that they were only playing with poker chips instead of money was more than he could take.  They even taught Nathan how to play which kind of brought out a monster in the little man and we decided poker better only be a Texas thing with his Papa.

Dad also showed us the display that Cynthia has put together for all of his military stuff.  Of course it all doesn't fit there so the swords were displayed in the living room (Derek coveted those and got quite a thrill holding real military swords) and his guns were locked away.  After looking through pictures and hearing some stories that have never before been shared I had an even more tender spot for this man.  For all he has been through he is so full of love and giving, pushing aside the stress and nightmares of the Vietnam War (I'm sure through the practice of the years and not that it was in any way easy) and moving forward in faith.

Derek and Justin battled through a couple of games of Checkers.  Justin could not manage a win and accused Derek of cheating, to which Derek replied, "I don't need to cheat, you just suck."  I was more kind to Nathan as I beat him in Chinese Checkers (I had daily training from my mom when I was a little girl and it was fun to pass on some strategy techniques to Nathan).   Levi, Hyrum, Nathan and Nanny (as Dad now calls Cynthia) put to good use the Grandkids Room that she has been filling over the past few years since she became a Grandma to all of us.  They patiently built Lego's, vroomed around with cars, tried a couple of puzzles, colored and pretty much made a fun filled mess.  Cynthia seemed to love pulling everything out and playing on the floor with them.  While she was caught up in the play Dad couldn't seem to get her attention.  Then he grunted his way to the floor with them.  Whether it was to get in on the fun with the grandkids or finally get eye contact with his wife I don't know but it was very cute of him.

Dad and Nanny also surprised Nathan and Hyrum with birthday presents (a few months early) and gave the boys each a tool bag.  Then they let them go outside to "fix" a wagon that the wheels had fallen off of.  The boys still pack around their tool bags "fixing" things.  Cynthia also gave me an afghan for my birthday.  I felt honored to have a gift with her love stitched right into it!

We had a hard time leaving but knew that Lenora was making another meal for us and even though we were stuffed from all the goodies of the day, we didn't want to miss out at her house.  As Derek gave Papa a hug he looked up at Derek and said, "you are the only person who gets such a good view of my bald spot".

Our time at Lenora's was wonderful!  Her home felt like a home away from home.  Though the old homes have problems in the plumbing and walls, the character is very charming.  She fed us, gave us a place to kick off our shoes and really relax from all the traveling, gave the boys free reign to all her snacks, and the Christmas feel of her tree and decorations topped it all off for a perfect Christmas in Texas.  Unfortunately, we were blamed for the ice storm that showed up Christmas morning and prevented Dad and Cynthia from making it over for the day.

The little boys had so much fun with cousins Jace and Bert (in the Elmo shirt).  Hyrum kept calling Bert, Burp, which all of us, even his parents, started using.  Then Bert gave me a nickname.  Cory (his dad) told him to "go give Aunt Kimber a hug".  He came over and gave me a big squeeze and said "love you Hamburger".  And, yes, that was my name for the remainder of the trip (and occasionally comes up even months later).  I don't mind.  Since hamburgers are one of Bert's favorite foods, I'll be Hamburger.

The older boys stayed up late playing x-box and watching movies, spent the mornings sleeping in with little boys crawling all over them, and entertained the little boys throughout the day.  It was a perfect mixture of activities and entertainment for everyone.

LeRoy organized a pool tournament with a full game bracket filled in with names, set up for double elimination.  Boy was he surprised when Teresa (JC's wife) beat him in his first game!!!  The rest of us didn't know whether to laugh or keep our mouths shut.  We are not surprised that LeRoy won the full tournament.  After all, he bribes, drags, convinces and coerces anyone that walks into our door to play pool with him and practices on his own during down times and the pool table at Lenora's was covered with all of Christian's stuff when we got there.  I'd say he had a bit of an advantage skill.  Oh, and Scott (who doesn't really communicate with words - at least that we've ever heard) got along quite well with Nathan and Hyrum by entertaining them with his phone.

By the 26th the storm had passed and the boys went out to the tree swing to play until it was time to go to Lego Land.

Lego Land was not quite the grand theme park that we had envisioned but everyone still mustered up the creativity to play and ride the rides.  Derek and Justin had a crowd watching them as they build a house out of bread pan sized foam Lego's.  Our favorite part was the 4D Lego movies that we could feel the wind in, smell the trees in and came out a little damp from the rain storm in the movie.  The Lego people in the movies only grunted but the 4D made up for it and they were still very entertaining.

The Sea Life Aquarium was incredible!!  I have never seen Levi take so many videos or pictures anywhere.  We loved the 360 tank that we could stand in to see the sharks and sea turtles swim around us and the little boys thought it was super cool to touch a real live starfish.

As our week began to wrap up we headed back out to Nanny and Papa's for one last visit.  It was hard to say goodbye not knowing when we would see them again.  It was also the first time that I saw Dad tear up (and try to hide it) as he hugged us all goodbye.

On our way out we stopped at the Vietnam Memorial.  The boys loved being able to climb on the vehicles instead of just looking at them behind ropes.

I took a little time to wander over by the wall (which is a 1/3 size replica of the original Vietnam Memorial Wall) and felt an overwhelming respect as I read over name after name after name of those who had given their lives.  After hearing some of Dad's experiences and then visiting this sight I gained an even greater love for him.  I cannot even imagine what he has experienced, felt, feared and overcome to be where he is today.

Our trip home was LONG!  We usually take two days to get there and two days to get home but we just wanted to get home so with all of us taking turns driving we drove 26 hours straight and made it home by 5am.  We carried the little boys to their beds, left everything in the van, dropped into our own beds and didn't wake up until about eleven.

That "No Parking On Ramp" sign represents the number one broken rule while traveling with Nathan.  That kid has a bladder the size of a pea!  He had previously been a little sick (we assume it was motion sickness like Derek) so we had stopped to pick up some chewable Dramamine and a heavy duty Maverik cup with a lid just in case.  He didn't ever throw up but he did end up peeing in that cup while we were in 5 lane traffic with nowhere to stop.

It was nice to have that middle seat missing.  It gave Derek extra leg room and offered a good sleeping spot for each of us to rotate through.  By the time we had been on the road for 22 hours Hyrum's legs were jumpy and cramping from dangling at the edge of his car seat for so long so the two of us wiggled and squirmed our way into a comfy position on the floor in that empty spot to get a little sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  What did Bret & Erika do while we were away?  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They opened gifts at our house, ate the perishable food at our house, fed the cats at our house and then flew to Colorado to spend the Christmas break with the Hellbusch family.

It was strange to be on a family holiday vacation and not have her with us but I'm so grateful that she has another family to love her just as we would.  Erika loves being with Bret's family (especially his sisters....or, especially Bret?) and they tease and talk with her like she has always been part of the family.  I was so pleased to talk with her on Christmas day and hear that she was having so much fun and is so happy.

I Put Myself in Time Out

October 29, 2012

Actually, I was invited, went of my own free (excited) will and paid money for it.  Taking a time out was never so appreciated.

The trip down was full of getting-to-know-you conversations and plenty of laughter.  It did get a little crazy when Missy pulled out her Ylang Ylang essential oil for us to try.  Just hearing her say it, Sarah repeat it, the rest of us try to say it and the way it tickled our ears when it tumbled off our tongues had us in fits of laughter.  It became our all purpose phrase for the weekend and we even came up with hand gestures (thank you Friends) to go with it.  I'm not sure when the name started but when we refer back to that trip we lovingly call ourselves the Ylang Ylang gang.

Oh, and a useful tip that I wish I had never learned : Peanut M&M's are the most balanced sugar treat I could eat.  The protein of the peanut balances the carb/sugar of the chocolate.  I should celebrate over that since Peanut M&M's are my favorite and most craved treat but now I have to convince myself that my justification for it's nutritional value is still not very good for me.  Every time I give in I think of Missy and Terra while I munch away of my balanced, low glycemic colored heaven, silently cursing and blessing their names.

Time Out for Women, sponsored by Deseret Book, was good.  Good humor, good atmosphere, good thoughts.  But it was the late night hours of laughter, soul bearing, favorite things sharing, eating and crying that really made this time out so healing.  I admire each of these women for their love of family, testimonies, and cheerful enduring nature.

A good trip must include good food and this trip did not disappoint.  It was well worth the crowded, very long line we had to get through.

It was so hard to choose what to order.  The theme on the front menu states "pure clean food with a twist" which to me translated to healthy, beautifully presented party for the mouth.  The butternut squash soup was orange delight in a bowl and my oriental salad was unlike any oriental salad I have ever had.  Maybe it was just the square plate or the colorful presentation but seriously, it was a garden delight.

Our less healthy choice, but equally delicious in a not-so-balanced, very high glycemic way, was at the Melting Pot.  All things fondue.  We skipped out on the meaty meal portion and went straight for the good stuff.  My imagination would have never come up with rice crispy treat or cheese cake for dipping but oooh was it good!

I didn't realize that I needed a time out but after spending a couple of days with these women I was ready to take on my seasonal winter blues (not at all the same shade of blue as that blue lemon) with hope and a good attitude.

Lori Prince, Sarah d'Evegnee, Missy Babcock, Terra Sargeant, Marybeth Lemon, Heather Young, Me

Our shirts, bags, notebooks (and a full package of time out goodness...water bottle, chapstick, hand sanitizer, kleenex) were made and labeled by Sarah.

Summer

(the non-wedding stuff)

With our summer schedule pretty full with wedding planning, trips and parties it was easy to overlook the ordinary stuff that took place during the same time.  I'm grateful for the pictures that capture these memories when my mind is so full.

Though Kate and her boys were technically here for wedding reasons, the little boys just thought they were all together for some quality cousin time.  LeRoy felt a little outnumbered with all of the Fullmer girls together for Erika's bridal shower so he made sure that the boys had an activity too.

Nathan and Hyrum went to a baptism with me in the morning and when we got back their jealousy bubbled over as they watched their dad give rides to Logan and Korben.  After a quick wardrobe change they all crowded on the four wheeler for rides around the block and through the field.  Kate and I stood on the porch ready to take pictures and holding our breath as they sped around each corner and Logan bounced up and down on the back as they kicked up the dirt in the field.

Korben calls our house "Erika's house" and always wants to know the next time he will see Erika.  And Erika loves Korben.  She adores his smile, his questions, his humor and especially his love for her.  Korben always has a little anxiety when it is time to leave or others are leaving his house and it was no different when it was time to leave our house, or rather when it was time to leave Erika.  He sobbed.

With drool running down his face and huge alligator tears in his eyes he attempted to smile as we encouraged him to have a picture taken with Erika.  Erika tried to explain that she would see him in just a couple of weeks for the wedding.  She had to give him an exact date to mark on the calendar but even that did not calm his tears.  After attempting to go out to the car a couple of times he walked back in the door and with the most heartbroken six year old voice I have ever heard he shrugged his shoulders and cried out, "my life....it's ruined".

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Nathan and Hyrum are so good at coming up with simple ways to entertain themselves.  After a lengthy pillow fight they pulled off their pillow cases for a few sack races.

They laughed and giggled, crashed into each other, and raced until they were exhausted.  It wasn't about who was faster or who won but who laughed the hardest.  When they were physically worn out they climbed in their pillow cases like they were sleeping bags and read stories for a while.  When they had read long enough to regain their strength they started the races all over again.

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We left Erika's room cleaned out and empty for a couple of weeks after she left but I had plans for it.  When LeRoy started selling Legal Shield and Identity Theft Insurance it created even more paper work than we were already dealing with in our electrical business.  Since he was doing all of the training and applications he needed his own desk.  For a while he had a smaller desk that we had been given and I kept the larger desk. After just a few short weeks I realized that the small desk was not going to cover it for LeRoy but I could manage with the smaller one so I switched things around.  It didn't take me long after that to realize that it wasn't just the size of the desk that was going to make a difference but it was how we manage our own office space.  Every time I went into the office to work I felt like I needed to spend time organizing before I could even start working.  

So, the "Skittle Room" is now my office.  I can keep my desk clean and organized and LeRoy can leave his just the way he likes it.  

Speaking of the Skittle Room...Erika did this room all by herself.  For her 16th birthday she asked for paint and permission to paint her room however she wanted.  After hearing her plans (Skittles?), we agreed and took her to pick up primer and paint.

She started by priming the walls, which she really didn't like because there was no creativity involved but then she got to the really good stuff where she could draw on the walls.  She has been wanting to do that (and actually doing just that on many occasions) since she was two years old. 

It took her nearly a year to get her room the way she wanted it but it was well worth all the late night giggles with Brianna, the long hours on a ladder and even the yellow paint stain on the carpet.  Her bright, colorful, happy Skittle room is now my bright, colorful, happy office. 

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On a Saturday morning LeRoy told me that he had just received a facebook message from one of my cousins inviting us to his and his brother's combined mission farewell.  We were so excited for both of them especially since we didn't know that either one of them had been planning on serving a mission.  We only knew that they had been baptized about a year prior.  We got substitutes that day and early Sunday morning we left for Utah.

It was our first family trip in the new van and Derek was thrilled with the leg room!  

Listening to Steven and Nathan share their testimonies was such a testimony builder for me.  These boys have strong testimonies of the atonement and eternal families and have such an enthusiasm for sharing those truths with others.  I am so proud of both of them and grateful to LeRoy for loving and encouraging them to be their best and to always be worthy of the priesthood.  I have no doubt that they will bless the lives of many people.

December

During the few sunny days we were blessed with in December, Nathan was reunited with an old playmate.

He has always had a fascination with his shadow. Even when he was only two and still in diapers.

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Hibbard Elementary did a Grinch Christmas program and asked that the kids all dress up like the Who people.  Nathan wanted to dress up as JoJo from Horton Hears a Who. He even encouraged his hair to grow for the whole month leading up to the program and spent time in front of the mirror practicing his bored JoJo look.  After searching all over Rexburg hoping to find some left-over Halloween clearance hair color, we finally found some black hairspray to darken his blond hair.

The best looking Who kids ever!

It was a good thing that a haircut was already in the plans after the program.  I don't think we would have been able to get all the black out without it.  After his haircut and shower he wanted to take a bath and still, the water turned to a murky grey and it took another shampoo and lots of scrubbing to wash away all the black off of his scalp.

Nathan cringes every time he hears the last note in the song.  "We sound terrible!" he groans as he covers his ears.  My favorite part of this video is the last 2 seconds.  I love the little shrug that Nathan does right in cue with the music.  I adore this little man!


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I was not expecting the emotions that encompassed me during this program.  I thought it would be the usual elementary school entertainment but watching the students walk in caught my attention in a humble way and when Nathan's first grade class came in I was completely overwhelmed with emotion.  Then they started singing "Where Are You Christmas" and the words coming from those innocent children had me completely choked up.

Where are you Christmas 
Why can't I find you 
Why have you gone away 
Where is the laughter 
You used to bring me 
Why can't I hear music play 

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too


I realized that what I was feeling was a rush of gratitude for our teachers, sympathy for those who had lost children in the Connecticut school shooting that took twenty first graders from their families, and a prayer in my heart for all of the families, teachers, friends, officers, medics and anyone else who had immediately been affected by the tragic events from last week.

Once the kids sat down I counted the front row of wiggly, giggly, smiling first graders I was shocked to think that had the shooting taken place at our rural elementary school it would have been that entire first row and three kids from the second row that would be gone as well as six of our teachers/administrators that were standing along the walls encouraging their students.  I cannot even imagine the depth of sorrow, sadness, pain and loss that must have been felt in that community and certainly, there must have been questions of "where are you, Christmas" as their lives were changing.

I admit that this sad, tearful feeling stuck with me throughout the next few days and I had a hard time not tearing up at everything Nathan did or said, living through the eyes of parents who would wish for one more silly joke, whiny plea or happy hug from their first grader.  Then a song came to me and I had to look it up for the exact words.

Jesus, my Savior true,
Help me they will to do.
E'en in the darkest night,
Be thou my beacon light.

Through this dark world of strife,
Teach me a better life.
Let thy redeeming pow'r
Be thou my safety tow'r.

When strife and sin arise,
When tears bedim my eyes,
When hopes are crushed and dead,
Thy glory round me shed.

When silent death draws near,
Calm thou my trembling fear.
Let me thy mercy prove.
Guide me to heav'n above.

"Guide Me to Thee" Hymn #101

At the end of each phrase are the words "guide me to thee".  The verses themselves offer a beautiful prayer but the phrase guide me to thee seems to be the reaching beyond ourselves, our problems, worries, loss and whatever else is taking over our souls to really feel of His mercy and love through the atonement.  For those who are suffering in Connecticut, this is my prayer for you.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving came a week early for the Fullmer family.  It fit all of our schedules and meant that we could  see John and Audi before they moved to Virginia.  As it worked out, it wasn't a good weekend to take my whole family to Utah but it was a great time for me to hang out with nine of my ten siblings.

As usual, there was an abundance of food, games, laughter, stories, and plenty of reminiscing until the wee hours of the morning.  Watching all of the cousins play together made me wish that my little boys were in on all the silliness.  Then Max came walking into the room wearing a coconut purse as a bra while chanting "coconuts, coconuts".

I was glad it wasn't my little boys who had corrupted sweet Max.  They'd have him playing with guns or swords, even if the "weapons" were actually Barbie batons or a plunger.

A week later we had our own family Thanksgiving.  It was the first time that we had just our family, no extended family, missionaries, no friends or neighbors over.  Though I have loved having big group Thanksgiving dinners it was wonderful to have our own family all together.  Having Levi with us and having Bret and Erika come a day early to help make food and spending a couple of nights with us like they lived out of town made it seem like we were really transitioning to a new stage of life with older and married kids.  

The only picture that I took was of Hyrum working so hard to make the drink.  He wanted to do something all by himself and was so proud that he was strong enough to lift the heavy bottles of juice and soda and pour it all by himself without spilling.  Each time someone took a drink they praised Hyrum and he soaked up the love.

While the rest of us played games or took naps LeRoy caught his own little snooze on the couch.  Erika had been making all of us feel the inside of her new hat so for some extra comfort LeRoy stuck it over his head and didn't give it back until his nap was over because it was so soft.  

She quit sharing her hat after that.

On Friday morning after Thanksgiving we all slept in having spent the night staying up late playing games and watching movies.  Everyone wandered out of bed and had breakfast some time around noon.   

LeRoy and I watched a new TV series that we got on DVD for our Anniversary.  Nathan was on an adventure with a book, Derek played guitar until he fell asleep and Justin spent a little quality time with Oliver watching Hyrum. After wearing himself out as a super hero, Hyrum took a nap on the floor with Oliver. Levi decided they needed a little more excitement than that and offered to take Daymia, Justin, Bret and Erika to I-Jump in Idaho Falls. (Derek was invited but didn't want to go)

If I wasn't so worried about injuring myself I might also find it fun to jump into a pit of foam.  At this stage in my life, I'm content to watch my kids do it.  They were picking foam pieces out of their hair and clothes for the rest of the day.  

Vivien's 18th Birthday

What I really wanted to do for Vivien's birthday was put myself on a plane to go see her but that was a little out of the budget, even for an 18th birthday.  Instead, the kids and I put together a party in a box.  We included the gifts, the cake, and the activity.

In July, Vivien sent me a picture of a cake that looked like the American flag and told me that was what she wanted her birthday cake to look like.  Though I couldn't send an actual cake I did send a sugary, flat replica of one.  Though it was all edible when I made it (corn syrup makes great glue), I'm sure it was pretty solid and would break teeth if she had tried to eat any of it.  I had complete confidence that she would not attempt to eat it because she lives a much healthier lifestyle than the high fructose corn syrup Americans.

For the activity the boys put in glow stick masks and jewelry as well as glow in the dark fingernail polish.  We figured since she was already hanging out with her friends at night in the closed playground that they could all do it while glowing and spark some UFO rumors. If a security camera happened to spot them their glowing masks would protect their identity.  It might not be quite as much fun as playing Bang in the Rexburg Walmart but it was the best we could do for an activity shipped overseas.

For the gifts we put in some slippers that looked like shoes.  Her shoe addiction is so strong that we knew it would be a hit.  We also included a "wreck this journal" book which had ideas of things to put on the pages (like taping gum wrappers or tearing a page out to make an airplane or writing a list of what is under the bed).  And finally, we gave her a yearbook of her ten months spent in America.  The only frustration I had with that was that there were no new pictures to include.  All of the pictures of Vivien with our family have stopped.  We have new ones of her in Slovakia and new ones of us in Idaho but none of us together.  Hopefully, we can have a couple of months in the summer to make new memories, take new pictures and do another yearbook.

Shortly after her birthday Vivien was admitted to a hospital in the mountains for a couple of weeks.  Unlike our American hospitals, there was not a private room waiting for her with hours of quiet and TV.  She was in a room full of kids (nearly all of them younger that her) where she endured many sleepless, interrupted nights, volumes of noise and a major lack of privacy in the public bathrooms.  They had school time, music time, walks outside and all of the blood tests, breathing tests, annoying tests that any one person should ever endure.  I was so glad that I could keep in touch with her via texting.  Most of the time she just wanted to go home but near the end of her stay she had made a couple of friends.

She and one of those friends broke into an office to find a chair, snuck into the kitchen to get a knife to mix the hair color with and colored their hair in the bathroom.  Not what I had imagined her doing in a hospital but I'm glad she found/made some fun.

Finally, she was released, more tests were done and she has actually had a few weeks of feeling better.  Healthy (non-American) food, swimming, yoga and her own room have been good for her.  Unfortunately, she missed most of the first semester of school and has spent the last month trying to catch up and just as the new semester has started she has been sick again.

I miss her!  I miss her laugh, her smile, hearing her down in her room, seeing her shoes in the mudroom.  I miss that look across the table that we would share when the boys were being ....boys.  I miss seeing her hanging out with her brothers and all the craziness and laughter that it caused.  I miss our light chatter and silliness sitting in the family room with both of us working on our computers or reading while the guys watched a guy movie.