December Decorations: Part II

The decorations of December were what I had always wanted and everything seemed in it's perfect place. However, I had an unsettled feeling and I couldn't shake it. As the month continued, I gradually began to understand what was missing.

I started reading the Book of Mormon on October 9th with the intention to finish by December 31st and to highlight each reference of Christ as challenged by our prophet. I had never read the scriptures this way but I found that it was so inspiring as I focused more on Christ rather than just stories. As Christmas grew near, I realized that in all my cute decorating and holiday stuff, my small nativities seemed inadequate for His celebration. The big tree in the living room actually seemed to encroach on my space, which is odd since we live in such a big home.

As I sat in my living room looking at all the decorations I had collected over the years, I realized that I wanted a large manger. I wanted a focal point that would remind us of Christ in all our holiday preparations instead of focusing on the gifts and parties and decorations. After looking through several online pictures and not finding what I wanted, I commissioned Derek to build me a manger.

We went to the shed and found scrap wood, printed a picture that was closest to what I had in mind, decided on a height and he drew up some plans with measurements. The scrap wood worked perfect for the legs, but we wanted a more raw wood (instead of finished) for the sides and we also decided on nails instead of screws to make it feel more carpenter authentic. So, a quick trip to Home Depot and $11 later, he was back to the saw.

Hyrum helped him with the finish work and together, my modern carpenters built a manger.

It is more perfect than I had imagined. The size is spot on. The raw wood is beautiful.

I initially planned to leave it sitting next to the big tree but I still felt that the tree was taking up too much space, both literally and spiritually. So, I carefully dragged the large tree to the center of the room to see if I would like a different arrangement with the manger as the focal point. I moved the "Jesus Tree" over by the manger and gathered up some treasured nativities and kept the hand print tree to represent our family in the Christ centered setting.

It came together so well that I decided to take the large tree down all together. I undecorated it, took it apart and began hauling it downstairs when I realized that the top section of the large tree fit perfectly sitting next to the manger. So, there it remained.

I was a little nervous about how the kids would feel of my drastic redecorating. Hyrum did express that he missed the big tree but later told me he loved the manger. The others didn't seem too phased by it. After all, we do have five other trees around the house, albeit small. In brief explanations, scattered among questions, observations and conversations, I explained my reasoning and each child seemed okay with it, though not verbalizing support or disapproval. I'll still put the large tree up in a less center-of-attention place next year but this year, the new tradition was set and I will have the manger as the focal point for every year to come.

Above the manger is my favorite Christ-child picture with the phrase "The dawn of Redeeming Grace" on it, as well as nativities that hold special meaning to me. From left to right, the nativity set from Sarah d'Evegnee, the Holy Family from Kellie Boyd when they were living in Africa, and on the far right, a stable scene that Terra Sargeant burned into a wood ornament for me.

I hung in the manger a sign that Sarah d'Evegnee gave me with the scripture from the Book of Mormon, "Lift up your head and be of good cheer for . . . on the morrow come I into the world". That one phrase represents the first Christmas in the Nephite land when all the unbelievers had set aside a date for all the believers to be killed but in answer to prayer, Christ gave this comfort. The night with no darkness and this promise represented His birth to the people of the Americas.

LeRoy and I put all the gifts around the Jesus tree and manger for Christmas morning. Our family loves to use large boxes to disguise the size and shape of gifts so the gift giving always looks so big, but this year they did not seem to take away from the focal point of our celebration. I loved watching Hyrum and Daymia take the gifts from around and in the manger as they handed them out Christmas morning.

After all our gifting was over and a quick tidy was done of the room, I tossed Nathan's stocking into the manger because it was empty and I didn't want it lost among all the other stuff.  My mind had me take a second look as I noticed how appropriate it was for this particular stocking to be sitting in the manger. After all the singing, story telling, partying and gifting, He is the reason we celebrate. He is the subtle giver of grace, peace, joy and love. The real gifts that make up the Christmas season.

December Decorations: Part I

My favorite decorations are the ones that we made together as a family.

Our footprint snowmen were made in 2011 when Vivien was living with us. Each person got to paint their own hats on, giving them personality closer to their footprint owners.

In 2012 we went from footprints to hand prints to make a tree. In 2013 we used thumb prints for a string of colorful lights. We revisited the hand print theme in December 2017 and added cute baby hand prints of our first grandchild, Kailee Jo.

In 2015 we added our faces to cute little snowmen. Erika's is one of my favorites as she holds her pregnant snowman belly, just like she did while pregnant that year with Kailee Jo. The boys were surprised, and gave me a hard time, that we'd only had Charlie for a year and he made the snowman cut but our cats Harrison (age 12) and Oliver (age 6) didn't make the snowman tree.

Trees are my favorite Christmas decorations. I have several and each has a purpose.

My favorite tree is the one that we decorate with pictures and names of Christ. It stands near the stairway lit with white, reminding us of His light and love.

I also love the tree that is designated for the kids picture ornaments. It holds time still each December as decades of school ornament projects show me their young faces and I'm flooded with memories of my babies.

The big tree in the living room represents a stage of life that I get to decorate my own tree while the little tree in the stairwell holds the yearly Hallmark ornaments that Grandma Hawkins gave to the older kids each year.

Trees also line the mantle and the runner above the couch is my latest sewn project, also full of trees.

Our window nativity is guarded by simple trees as our homemade paper snowflakes sparkle the window sky.

Poinsettias have been my favorite table decoration for the last couple of years. The vibrant red brightens our white-out yard and wood brown kitchen.

I do love the Christmas holiday and over the years I have shopped clearance sales after each Christmas to gather all of my decorations. The house feels cozy, well lit, and joyful. However, this year was different. I love the whole set up but something felt off. Something was missing.

Christmas Gingerbread Houses

With pounds of sugar and a mess of candies, we created a sweet little village scene using our creativity and imagination.

Per our usual, laughter and silliness were in abundance, as well as finger licking and sugary snitching.

This was Derek's first time doing gingerbread houses with us. His building skills came in handy but he found that depending on icing for stability was much less dependable than his usual nail and screw structures.

Fall Decor

Fall is my favorite time of year to decorate for. 

I love the orange, red and yellow of fall leaves. 

I love pumpkins and owls and the occasional lingering October decorations and I love the fact that Jesus is here for me through every holiday.

I love the pilgrims and indians for working things out to have a peaceful meal. 

I love harvesting my garden and prepping it for the next year. 

I love focusing on gratitude and I love these cute little turkeys.

Sweet Lilly joined the turkey rafter this year.

Garden Harvest

July was a yummy month full peas, spinach and a few strawberries. By the end of the month we were also enjoying such a bountiful raspberry harvest that we had to call in neighbors to relieve our bushes of their red, juicy goodness while we were in Georgia.

We left the land of Georgia peaches to come home to boxes of Idaho peaches, which were quickly preserved for a winter treat.

August was also produced an abundance of beans, onions, a few beets, the best cucumbers I'd ever had and so many tomatoes that we couldn't eat them fast enough.

The daily picking of Sun Sugar Tomatoes lasted nearly a full month before I pulled the plants, not willing to fight the frost for them. I will never plant red cherry tomatoes again. These were heavenly and I'm pretty sure I will crave them right up until the next harvest

I decided to face my fear of the pressure canner and made myself bottle the beans this year. It was the first year that I was actually home when the beans became ripe instead of missing the perfect picking to find dried out, oversized, undesirable beans that only fed the compost pit, so I had to be a big girl and get those perfect gems in jars.

Overcoming the pressure canner boost my ego to the point that I made myself some bottled stew. It took a great amount of reading, planning, and tweaking, but I finally gave it a go. I openly admit that the look of cooked meat in a glass jar is not very appetizing but the taste by far outweighs the looks.

Delicious! I have loved having a bottle ready to open on days that I haven't thought ahead enough to make dinner. 

September melons are divine! The cantaloupe and watermelon were the perfect sweetness and tasted so much better than what we usually find in the stores.

With the weather cooling, it was time to clear the garden and bring in the remainder of our spoils.

My helpers were quite entertaining as they danced around and made up a harvest dance and song to go with the day. I appreciated their help so very much! While they clipped the tops and roots of onions and carrots, I cleared the weeds in preparation for a fall tilling of the ground.

With a quick wash and air dry, and Hyrum making water fountains for a good 20 minutes, our carrots were ready for winter storage. I had tried to store carrots in buckets of sand last year following direct instructions from a neighbor, "store them in buckets of sand". After throwing away a moldy, stinky mess in the spring (partly because I completely forgot about the buckets), I decided to get better instructions. Four layers of damp peat moss and carefully placed carrots later, I'm ready to try again.

When I built a sturdy wooden box for Kellie about 16 years ago, I had no idea that it would come back to me and after sitting in the guest room for several years, it would become the perfect winter box for carrot storage.

For future reference:
*  Damp peat moss lets the carrots have moisture when they need it and absorbs moisture when they don't (pretty smart stuff).

*  Don't let carrots touch each other or the sides of the box.

*  Store in cool, dark place where I will remember that they are there.

I also want to give kudos to the army of workers that spend all spring and summer pollinating our trees, bushes and garden plants. None of this would happen without them! As we were clearing our fall harvest, the bushes bordering our garden were humming as our friends gathered the last of the seasons pollen for winter storage of their own. I'm so grateful to my neighbors who have multiple hives all withing two miles of us. They are a huge part of our success.

Check out the pollen on his legs! I hope to have the dedication of a bee in my own endeavors.

Miss Malibu

Our time has come to an end.
Miss Malibu has served us well.

At the end of her journey,she faces the fate of the skilled surgeon who will determine if she is to be patched up for a short while or will become a mechanical organ donor for others like her to live just a little longer.

She came to us in the cold spring of March 2010, in time for two months worth of Levi and Erika fighting over her for school, dating, work and escaping with friends. The battle ended with Levi’s move after graduation.

She courageously served Erika through the year of Wendy’s greasy shoes and a smashup of bumps after a minor collision at an intersection.

After only a year with us, she spent the next two years valiantly serving in greater responsibilities as our family vehicle, instead of simply the teen car, to replace our pricey, gas hog of a Yukon during our economic struggles of construction and back surgeries. We spent those years with her rythmic clicking ringing in our ears; grateful that she kept on going regardless of her imperfections: missing sun visor, broken door handle, temperamental air conditioning, peeling paint.

She overcame the smells of dirt, mud and moldy coffee after providing Levi a couple of months of reliable transportation to work at a local nursery.

She painstakingly recovered, as did Derek, from a moose attack and a cow mishap on the dark country roads heading home, only to be beaten yet again by a mailbox during an icy slide off.

School friends were so kind to decorate the missing mirror with a cow and to draw cow spots on her side, with a mooing caution written on the window.

The moose really did hit the Malibu, not the other around.

a - big dent where the moose had his legs knocked out from under him and his body rammed into the side of the car

b - shattered and bowing windshield ready to fall
c - fur (and more) that was ripped off the moose as he rolled off the opposite side of the car

A couple of times, she safely escorted our favorite Europeans, Vivien and Gabor, on their Idaho Falls adventures.

* Notice the missing sun visor and the broken door frame, which made it clumsy and awkward to close the door.

She reliably ran early mornings and late evenings with Justin for school, cheer and work, and eventually graduated right along with him to a new state for more school, cheer, and work.

A rainy, spring day of hydroplaning left her with a lovely new swatch of white on her front bumper, yet severely out of alignment and in need of more repair. After minimal adjustments, she survived a few months longer until a worthy replacement could be found.

Come rain, snow, sleet or hail, she was our dependable trooper.

She may not have always been able to give us the comfort of heat or air conditioning but she never failed to get us where we needed to go.

She hobbled back to Rexburg for her last Edwards hurrah, constantly fighting the urge to overheat until she could resist no longer. After a steamy rest, she held her parts together long enough to briefly land herself again in her rightful parking spot of eight years.

Thank you, Miss Malibu, for your years of safe service and seemingly self-healing abilities. You will live on in our memories and stories, still leaving us to wonder: purple or brown?

9/11

Every year on September 11th, I fall into a very somber mood as memories of that day in 2001 creep to the forefront of my thoughts.

The morning started like any other other school day.

Tuesday.

I got up early with LeRoy (5:30am) to fix him breakfast before he left for work in Jackson.

I woke the three older kids, fed them, and they walked through the field to Kennedy Elementary.

I headed down to the basement to do a pilates video, my usual morning workout.

Justin, only two and half, always woke up in time to wave his siblings off to school and then wandered down with me to either attempt pilates or to "play pool" on the pool table that took up 80% of the room.

This particular morning, Justin grabbed a pile of books from his room and brought them down with him. It was a little odd since he usually saved his books for nap time and used the morning to burn some of his energy but I never deny a kid a handful of books. He was already situated on the couch with a sippy cup and his books when I turned the TV on to start my VHS workout.

I was immediately caught up in the news as I saw a couple of buildings in New York that were both on fire. The replays of one tower already on fire and a plane - yes, a plane! - crashing into the second tower seemed unreal; something that would be in a movie or news from another country. There were also reports of a plane crashing into the Pentagon. I felt a growing pit in my stomach as I listened to announcers stating that this was no longer speculated as an accident, as the first plane crashing into a building was assumed. This was an attack.

paper floating
bodies falling
billowing flames
black smoke

7:59 - I sat cross-legged on the floor in confusion with the rest of the nation as a huge, rolling cloud engulfed the second tower that had been hit. The live feed had everyone guessing.

"we don't know what just happened"
"maybe something fell off the building"
"did the top fall off?"
"the entire building has just collapsed"
"the WHOLE building has collapsed!?!?"

It was gone, and left in it's place was a massive gray cloud of dust, smoke and debris. The news announcers didn't quite know what to say. There wasn't a script for this.

Justin sat quietly looking at his books.

President Bush sat in an elementary school classroom to read to kids on live television. A guard interrupted the reading to whisper into the President's ear. A few minutes later the President announced from that same school, in front of teachers, children and the nation, that our country was under a terrorist attack.

LeRoy called from Jackson to see if I had heard the news. He offered to come home but what was there to do in Idaho but sit glued to the horrific events unfolding and being replayed over and over again?

I sucked in my breath and simultaneously mumbled, "no, no, no" as I watched the other burning building collapse and the news announcers literally fall into silence. Tears of reality and acceptance replaced disbelief. Even the stoic new announcers were getting choked up.

Justin climbed into my lap and put his hand on my cheek. "Otay mommy?"

I couldn't respond through the choking sob I was holding in. I could only hug him. I wished for his innocence. I believe he felt more that day than I've ever given him credit for. I kept thinking I should turn it off but that felt like abandonment of those suffering the actual events. Justin stayed on my lap for nearly three hours; his closeness offering what little comfort I felt that morning.

We were still sitting there when Derek (5) got home from kindergarten.
Justin informed him, "Mommy sad."
More innocence soaked up in confusion.

a hijacked plane diverted by heroes
death toll estimates reaching astronomical numbers
all US airspace completely grounded, not one commercial or private plane in the sky
F-15's guarding New York City
speculation
terror

When Levi (9) and Erika (7) got home from school I found that they had a very vague picture of what had happened. They had watched the president's announcement at school. I filled in the basic details.

Levi would be very affected by that day. He was solemn and emotional. I witnessed an incredible degree of empathy grow in him as he learned over the following weeks of what had taken place and how it was affecting other people. I saw him tear up in emotion at updated stories of survivors, the lost, and the heroes. I watched him build, glue together and hang on his wall a puzzle of the towers with the US flag in the background.

The days and weeks to follow brought the death toll down significantly but also left a staggering number of people missing and reported dead. Phone calls from both inside the towers before they collapsed, and Flight 93 before it crashed, brought the reality of real people living and dying through these horrible events.

Heroes were found in unlikely places and in the most dire of circumstances.

Church services and prayer from all denominations were at all all time high nation wide.

The nation came together in mourning.

Devastation created common ground.

Travel would never be the same again.

The clean up in New York took years.

There were declarations of war.

The following years did indeed bring war.

I had never quite understood when my grandparents would talk about how they knew exactly where they were, what they were wearing and who they were with when Pearl Harbor was bombed. My parents remembered the exact same things (where, what and who) about the day President Kennedy was shot. I thought, well sure, it was in the news and was big but it didn't directly affect your life much.

Now I understand.

Each year as videos are replayed, flags are lowered and names are read, I remember.

I remember deep anguish for the suffering of others.

I remember my peaceful little boy and his comforting chubby hand resting on my cheek as he spent hours by my side, offering what the pure innocence of childhood offers. . . peace in the moment and hope for a better future.

A Boyd Visit

I received emails in May from Brendan and Jeremy, asking if they could stay with us for the summer and work with LeRoy. We were glad to offer Brendan a job with LeRoy and Jeremy a job around our house. The boys were excited to have a big brother figure in the basement again.

Brendan was a great apprentice for LeRoy and I was thrilled to have Jeremy work for me around the house. Jeremy painted the guestrooms and helped the boys build the new jungle gym for the play area. In free time, they shot air guns, played on the trampoline and in the sprinklers and when the heat was at its worst, they had a free day at Airbound.

Kellie and the girls came and stayed for a few days which made for great company. Andie read most of the time, Hailey played pet whisperer with the dog, cats, and bunny, and Madelyn entertained us with her excitement and enthusiasm over any and every topic.

Erika was also visiting for a few days at the same time, so Kellie and I took Kailee and Madelyn to Bear World. 

Seeing the bears from the van was okay but they loved hanging out in the shade in the petting zoo.

We also rode on the train and Huckleberry Drop a few times.

These little girls keep us young and remind us to keep it simple and enjoy nature and each other.