During the past 18 plus months LeRoy and I have been tossing around the idea that we either need to hire a maid, a nanny, or a secretary. It has been a hard process for me to admit that I cannot do it all. I have been trying but something always falls through the cracks. I choose mommy first, even though sometimes I have kids crying at the office door. I choose secretary second because it is a must to keep things running and I'm to much of a control/worry freak to train and turn it over to someone else, and we don't want to have to provide enough hours to warrant hiring someone. The cleaning is one that can always wait. And it has, until now.
I admit it: I cannot do everything! How freeing! Once I was able to admit it and figure out how to justify it financially in my mind, we started looking for someone that I would feel comfortable with to turn it over to. Not that I needed someone with a cleaning degree, I wanted someone that I wouldn't feel weird or uncomfortable with having them clean while I either played with the boys or worked in the office or even worked along with her.
LeRoy met Missy at one of the homes he was doing a remodel on. He has met several cleaning ladies while at different homes but when he met Missy he figured that the two of us would get along. He couldn't quite explain why but when I met her I knew immediately. We both suffer with the same OCD: clean freak-itis. My OCD has been pulling me into a fit of frustration on a daily basis because I just cannot make the time to clean all of the stupid little things that bug me and those things just keep piling up. Lucky for me (and for her) Missy gets to satisfy her OCD by cleaning not only her own house but others ( as she tells it, her husband told her she should do it for other people because she was beginning to scrub the paint off the walls in their new home). I was afraid that she would take one look at the boys bathroom and leave in disgust. Oh, no. She took us on.
Tuesday was her first day with us. I had a really hard time turning it over to someone else, mostly out of embarrassment that I had let it get that bad (the dust on the mantle was probably half an inch deep) but I didn't have the time to clean before she came. Duh, that's why she was coming. The whole family did the usual pick up because I didn't want her spending time on that, I wanted her to do detail work. And detail work she did! SIX hours of detail work. While the boys were down for naps I shut myself in the office to work and I felt a warm happy place growing in me. It started with the sound of the vacuum and the smell of clean and I wasn't behind it but I knew it would be a great. It was so nice to work with my mind completely in the office instead of being rushed to cram as much as I could into a short time so that I could cram a little house work in as well.
As I was walking through the house with her before she left I had a hard time not breaking out in a silly, giddy dance. My house has not looked this clean since the home show. She polished the phone, dusted all the decorations above the kitchen cabinets, washed all the pencil marks and splashed food off the cabinets, washed all the doorknob areas and light switches, vacuumed every bit of carpet - even along the walls with the hose. I can't even tell you how much I love the bathrooms! They shine and don't smell like boys. The kitchen floor was a little too clean 'cause Hyrum and Justin kept slipping on it but it looked so pretty and new again. The windows have no more finger or face prints. The dead flies and dust are gone from the window tracks. She vacuumed the couches upstairs and dusted the fake plants. She washed the washer and dryer. I want to put smiley faces after each one of the things mentioned. I'm smiling now!
I haven't told the kids that she came or that she will be back next week. I'm not trying to take credit for her work, I just don't want the kids to think they get out of doing their chores or do less than they do now assuming that she will clean it anyway. When they got home from school they were a little wide eyed at the shine of the house. I know they didn't notice all the detail work but the feel was different, and they noticed that. I had the washer and dryer going the whole time she was here and though she volunteered to fold it all I kept it for the kids to do. Derek and Justin didn't say a word, and I didn't have to ask, they just started folding clothes. I think they were a little worried that mom was on some angry cleaning rampage and they didn't want to get caught not helping. They were also a little confused at the cheerful, happy, smiling mom that met them at the door instead of the I-have-been-working-all-day-to-clean-your-mess frazzled mom that has been far to present lately.
As LeRoy and I talked about it we realize that she is costing us much less than a secretary would and she does a better job at the cleaning than I can do. I could do it but where do I ever have six consecutive hours every week that I can just clean without any distractions and have the whole house in order before the kids get home from school? Never! It is a win-win situation for all of us. Especially me.
**The rest of this should probably be posted in my private blog but it fits here so I hope you don't mind me sharing. **
Sitting on my bed in my dust free, vacuumed bedroom I began my nightly scripture reading. I was reading in Alma 34 where Amulek shares his testimony of the atonement. As I was reading, I realized that I was having a familiar happy feeling blossoming in me, similar to what I had felt while sitting in the office having Missy clean what I couldn't get to. There wasn't really one verse that stood out to me it was just the knowledge of the atonement and the thoughts that came to my mind that brought on this comparison.
Missy will be here once a week to be the mediator between what I can offer and what the end goal is (the clean house). I can't get to it all. I need help. She is better than I am, she doesn't get distracted by the phone, kids, office. She is focused on taking care of the needs of the house.
Jesus Christ is always here with me, standing as a mediator between what I can offer and the end goal of returning to live with Him and my Heavenly Parents and my family, forever. I can't do it all. I need help. He is so much better than I am. He doesn't get distracted by anything that this world offers. He is only focused on taking care of the needs of my spirit.
He brushes away the dust that blows in and settles from the daily windy choices that I make. From the windows of my soul he wipes away the fingerprint and lip stains that I leave behind in my less than stellar actions and words. If I invite him to help me, he will be the housekeeper of my spirit. As I observe the mighty change of heart that has been gradually, one step at a time, taking place over the last few months, I feel light, free and peaceful. Just like the house appears similar to the shiny, new look it had for the home show without all the evidence that we live and make messes here, my spirit is bright, hopeful and happy, almost as if the clutter of my poor choices had never been here at all.
Luckily, the maid will be back next week to clean up all that I can never find the time to do. Thankfully, He is always here to not only free me from the messes that I make but to add his efforts to mine as I care for my family and fulfill my responsibilities. I echo the words of Ammon (Alma 26:12): "I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things" and to personalize his sentiments of the converted Lamanites: " [I am] in the hands of the Lord . . . and [I am] his; and he will raise [me] up at the last day" (vs. 7).
In releasing myself from the bonds of "I have to do it all, and all by myself" I find great comfort and hope in this scripture: "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." (D&C 123:17)
I admit it: I cannot do everything! How freeing! Once I was able to admit it and figure out how to justify it financially in my mind, we started looking for someone that I would feel comfortable with to turn it over to. Not that I needed someone with a cleaning degree, I wanted someone that I wouldn't feel weird or uncomfortable with having them clean while I either played with the boys or worked in the office or even worked along with her.
LeRoy met Missy at one of the homes he was doing a remodel on. He has met several cleaning ladies while at different homes but when he met Missy he figured that the two of us would get along. He couldn't quite explain why but when I met her I knew immediately. We both suffer with the same OCD: clean freak-itis. My OCD has been pulling me into a fit of frustration on a daily basis because I just cannot make the time to clean all of the stupid little things that bug me and those things just keep piling up. Lucky for me (and for her) Missy gets to satisfy her OCD by cleaning not only her own house but others ( as she tells it, her husband told her she should do it for other people because she was beginning to scrub the paint off the walls in their new home). I was afraid that she would take one look at the boys bathroom and leave in disgust. Oh, no. She took us on.
Tuesday was her first day with us. I had a really hard time turning it over to someone else, mostly out of embarrassment that I had let it get that bad (the dust on the mantle was probably half an inch deep) but I didn't have the time to clean before she came. Duh, that's why she was coming. The whole family did the usual pick up because I didn't want her spending time on that, I wanted her to do detail work. And detail work she did! SIX hours of detail work. While the boys were down for naps I shut myself in the office to work and I felt a warm happy place growing in me. It started with the sound of the vacuum and the smell of clean and I wasn't behind it but I knew it would be a great. It was so nice to work with my mind completely in the office instead of being rushed to cram as much as I could into a short time so that I could cram a little house work in as well.
As I was walking through the house with her before she left I had a hard time not breaking out in a silly, giddy dance. My house has not looked this clean since the home show. She polished the phone, dusted all the decorations above the kitchen cabinets, washed all the pencil marks and splashed food off the cabinets, washed all the doorknob areas and light switches, vacuumed every bit of carpet - even along the walls with the hose. I can't even tell you how much I love the bathrooms! They shine and don't smell like boys. The kitchen floor was a little too clean 'cause Hyrum and Justin kept slipping on it but it looked so pretty and new again. The windows have no more finger or face prints. The dead flies and dust are gone from the window tracks. She vacuumed the couches upstairs and dusted the fake plants. She washed the washer and dryer. I want to put smiley faces after each one of the things mentioned. I'm smiling now!
I haven't told the kids that she came or that she will be back next week. I'm not trying to take credit for her work, I just don't want the kids to think they get out of doing their chores or do less than they do now assuming that she will clean it anyway. When they got home from school they were a little wide eyed at the shine of the house. I know they didn't notice all the detail work but the feel was different, and they noticed that. I had the washer and dryer going the whole time she was here and though she volunteered to fold it all I kept it for the kids to do. Derek and Justin didn't say a word, and I didn't have to ask, they just started folding clothes. I think they were a little worried that mom was on some angry cleaning rampage and they didn't want to get caught not helping. They were also a little confused at the cheerful, happy, smiling mom that met them at the door instead of the I-have-been-working-all-day-to-clean-your-mess frazzled mom that has been far to present lately.
As LeRoy and I talked about it we realize that she is costing us much less than a secretary would and she does a better job at the cleaning than I can do. I could do it but where do I ever have six consecutive hours every week that I can just clean without any distractions and have the whole house in order before the kids get home from school? Never! It is a win-win situation for all of us. Especially me.
**The rest of this should probably be posted in my private blog but it fits here so I hope you don't mind me sharing. **
Sitting on my bed in my dust free, vacuumed bedroom I began my nightly scripture reading. I was reading in Alma 34 where Amulek shares his testimony of the atonement. As I was reading, I realized that I was having a familiar happy feeling blossoming in me, similar to what I had felt while sitting in the office having Missy clean what I couldn't get to. There wasn't really one verse that stood out to me it was just the knowledge of the atonement and the thoughts that came to my mind that brought on this comparison.
Missy will be here once a week to be the mediator between what I can offer and what the end goal is (the clean house). I can't get to it all. I need help. She is better than I am, she doesn't get distracted by the phone, kids, office. She is focused on taking care of the needs of the house.
Jesus Christ is always here with me, standing as a mediator between what I can offer and the end goal of returning to live with Him and my Heavenly Parents and my family, forever. I can't do it all. I need help. He is so much better than I am. He doesn't get distracted by anything that this world offers. He is only focused on taking care of the needs of my spirit.
He brushes away the dust that blows in and settles from the daily windy choices that I make. From the windows of my soul he wipes away the fingerprint and lip stains that I leave behind in my less than stellar actions and words. If I invite him to help me, he will be the housekeeper of my spirit. As I observe the mighty change of heart that has been gradually, one step at a time, taking place over the last few months, I feel light, free and peaceful. Just like the house appears similar to the shiny, new look it had for the home show without all the evidence that we live and make messes here, my spirit is bright, hopeful and happy, almost as if the clutter of my poor choices had never been here at all.
Luckily, the maid will be back next week to clean up all that I can never find the time to do. Thankfully, He is always here to not only free me from the messes that I make but to add his efforts to mine as I care for my family and fulfill my responsibilities. I echo the words of Ammon (Alma 26:12): "I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things" and to personalize his sentiments of the converted Lamanites: " [I am] in the hands of the Lord . . . and [I am] his; and he will raise [me] up at the last day" (vs. 7).
In releasing myself from the bonds of "I have to do it all, and all by myself" I find great comfort and hope in this scripture: "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." (D&C 123:17)
3 comments:
What a wonderful post.
I am constantly beating myself up about the shape that my home is in. Even with valid excuses, it is hard to justify being home all day and not having a home in perfect order...and that is me - 2 kids, 2100 sq ft and no extra job. So the fact that you can even get up in the morning and hold it together with all that is required of you...you have my absolute admiration. I'm so glad you have someone to help you stay sane and give you that extra boost. And although I'm not in the same situation, your thoughts about the Savior were exactly what I needed to hear today.
Love you!
I'm so glad things worked out with Missy. How wonderful to feel such relief at a hard decision and know it was right.
It makes me smile to hear you so wonderfully upbeat and cheerful. I love hearing your personal insights and am very happy that you would share them. I really love that last scripture and need to remember it since "what lies in my power" is changing daily (it seems). For instance, tying my shoes is getting harder and harder among other things.
Thanks and love you!
Wow... your posts just have a way to striking a cord of something or a situation I find myself in. I never have time for the house, but have realized that it doesn't matter the state of house as much as letting my son know I love him. I can stress and worry and feel like I'm a horrible housekeeper because that is nothing in comparison as to what I would feel if I were a horrible mother. I love your scripture references and am so glad you have found peace in using Missy's OCD efforts in your home. I'm happy for you Kimber.
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