Storms

September 17

A huge wind and rain storm started in the middle of the night.  HUGE!  I had to get up and close windows, rescue blinds, pick up scattered papers, wipe up puddles, untangle curtains, and take a middle-of-the-night minute on the porch to witness the awesomeness of such a storm.  My mood patterns couldn't live in a place where this was a daily/weekly occurrence but every now and then I love a good storm.

While we were reading scriptures and eating breakfast, the storm raged on.  Even with all the windows closed we could hear the winds roaring through the trees and see the rain pounding against the windows in a threatening downpour.  We would jump and then giggle as the thunder would crash and we had a hard time focusing in the scriptures with the powerful jagged lightning drawing our eyes to the beauty of a storm tossed sunrise.  We kept checking each door looking for the cats, knowing they would be running from their nightly hiding places expecting a refuge with us. As the lights flickered there were whispered hopes that the power would go out.  My children have somewhat picked up my love of a powerful storm.

Then they scattered for school and work. I was left with my thoughts as I again stood on the porch smelling the refreshing rain, inwardly smiling at the little girl in me who got such a thrill out of Mother Nature's morning show. I went inside to put on my fuzzy socks and soft hoodie to warm me through the chill of the day and I began to wonder.  Why do I love a crashing, flashing storm?

I like knowing that I'm prepared for it.  I feel confident as I face the pounding thunder without fear, teaching my children to do the same.  I get some weird kick out of the power going out, sticking my neener-neener nose up as I pull out a stash of flashlights and cook dinner over a gas burner in the garage and if it goes on too long we fire up the generator in an attitude of "you can't get us down".

Then I took my shower, one of the places that I do the most thinking, planning, observing and even receiving inspiration and answers, and I wondered again.  Why don't I love the spiritual storms that come?  The windy storms that knock us around as a family, forcing us to establish a new normal.  The frightening storms that pick at our beliefs and really test our love for one another.  The fierce ones that stir up our faith in a Father who cares when all we can see is the downpour of doubt that floods over us, the thundering of trials that shake us and the flashing of worldly lights that distract us from what is most important.

The phone rang, the cat wanted out, the rest of my day was calling.  However, my mind wouldn't give up and I kept analyzing.

I love a powerful rainstorm because I'm prepared for it.  Do I not love the spiritual storms because I am not prepared?
Searching for the answer forced me to take a closer look at my spiritual self.

Why can't I stand in the face of a thundering spiritual storm without fear, and teach my children the same?
Why can't my flashlight of testimony be enough when I feel that my spiritual power is flickering off?
Why can't I keep my focus in the scriptures when lights from the phone, computer, and TV flash around me?
Why can't I watch continually for my children, knowing that they will be coming to me looking for refuge?
Why can't I have a backup generator ready to offer power?

The truth is, I can!

I am getting better at standing confidently with faith in the face of a thundering spiritual storm rather than fear and I'm doing my best to teach my children that they can do the same.

I do have a flashlight of testimony that I need to be better at shining in the dark and I need to keep my batteries charged.

I desire and strive to have my focus in the scriptures, not on the world.

I do watch continually for my children and I do try to provide a home of refuge from their own storms, going to my Father's home of spiritual refuge to learn how to do that in a loving way, His way.

I do have a backup generator called Prayer and if I'm willing to turn it on I will have power to face any storm that comes.

I also have the Holy Ghost and the love of my Savior and Heavenly Father to be my spiritual fuzzy socks and soft hoodie to warm me against the chill of these spiritual storms.

Just like I don't go out in the yard on a beautiful warm summer day hoping for a thunderstorm to interrupt our summer celebration, I'm not sitting here in our peaceful family refuge hoping for a storm to come pounding on our door. I am thankful for the time this morning to evaluate my spiritual survival kit and to see that I have more prepared than I give myself credit for and I know the areas that I need to work on to be even better prepared.  Having fumbled through spiritual storms in the past and knowing that there will be storms ahead, I still somewhat doubt that I really am prepared but I can almost hear my dad's voice quoting once again, "all things are possible to him that believeth".  And, I declare as the humble father told Jesus, "Lord I believe, help thou mine unbelief".