Family Pictures 2010

It is only December 23rd and I have EVERYTHING DONE for Christmas. I don't think I have ever said that in my whole life! Well, the housework isn't done but come on, it would be undone as soon as I finish so I'll let it go for a few more days.

The key to my survival over the past few months has been to simplify and do only what feels 100% needful. So, to all of my neighbors who didn't get a clever gift; to my wonderful circle of friends that I haven't seen in a few months; to my extended family that won't get a Christmas card/picture/letter this year; to those who have sent personal e-mails asking for a blog post to know what is going on in our lives . . . I still love you and we're still here (just a little less public).


I did want to share a family Christmas card like in years past but I'm settling for the backup plan (since this method can be done between 11pm and 6am without any offspring interruptions and it doesn't need to be picked up, addressed, stamped or put out in the mailbox.) Actually, my lack of enthusiasm for getting cards out prompted LeRoy to do it himself, which he did all by himself like a big boy without any secretarial help! For the rest of you who didn't make the 12 count cut, here's the blog version of our Christmas letter.



The Edwards Family 2010

~ 20 years ~



I have BEAUTIFUL children!

Each one of them has a piece of my heart.



I love my teenagers!

Yes, LeRoy is on the teenager page.

Sometimes I want to give them away.
But, I do share some really great, silly, fun times with them.

No, Levi is not engaged. Caytlyn just spent almost 10 months worth of daily visits with us so I count her as one of my own.

Then Levi moved out.

Now I miss both of them.


Playing in "Heavenly Father's yard".

That's what Nathan calls the temple grounds.

It is one of the places that we like to run away to.

We love each other. Everything that has happened this year
(the good, bad, happy, sad, easy, difficult, extremely hard to handle)
has led us to a greater love for one another; sometimes through pure joy and sometimes through forgiveness. Faith, patience, love and tolerance are the attributes that we are growing the most in and with hope as our anchor we have survived and enjoyed 20 years and look forward to 20 more. With Christ as our strength and focus, we want to wish everyone

A Very Merry Christmas!

Surprise Utah Trip

On a whim, LeRoy and I decided to pack up our family and leave town. We didn't tell the kids any of the plans we had and that turned out to be a great way to avoid the "uhh, that sounds boring" reaction. I also wanted to spend the night in a decent hotel (since the one in Vegas was less than stellar, okay, it was laaaame . . . free 2 nights remember, there's a reason it's free) so LeRoy searched around online and we were able to get a Hilton family suite for less than it would have cost for 2 rooms at the Best Western. And let me tell you a stay at the Hilton out shines the Best Western by a galaxy of stars! I think I'm becoming a hotel snob.

Our first stop was in our driveway. Weird, I know, but it really took some creativity to fit 7 of us comfortably in LeRoy's truck (did I mention we sold the Yukon in October?) and we weren't used to the fact that we would need to cover our luggage in the bed of the truck. We ended up laughing at our lack of preparation for this part and by the time we got on the road it felt like we had visited a mini circus but on the road we were.





Our official first vacation stop was at the Hill Air Force Base - Aerospace Museum. Derek was so excited when he realized where we were going that he looked like our neighbors little poodle who shakes with uncontrollable excitement until he piddles. Luckily, Derek didn't piddle but he sure was out of control with excitement. The next 2 hours were full of exclamations from all of us.





Nathan and Hyrum were in heaven (or space) when we found ACE - the Aerospace Center for Education. Basically a hands on, huge playroom. Hyrum wanted to try on every helmet there and once Nathan had his NASA suit on and was sitting in front of a real/mock cockpit he really thought he was going to fly that plane out of the room. They were very patient to have their turns with the kid sized airplanes that they got to pedal around the museum. If we lived closer we'd probably be there once a week. Did I mention the whole thing is FREE?!?!?!




We did not have near enough time at the museum but at closing they kicked us out and we vowed to go back, someday. Even as we were being shoo-ed out of the building the kids were still stopping for pictures and hollering "did you see this", "holy freak, look at those missiles" and much more. It's a good thing they didn't have recruiters there. Derek would have used his height to lie about his age and signed on the spot.

Our next stop was a surprise for Nathan. He is a Narnia fan - or fanatic. He watches either the Lion, Witch and Wardrobe and/or Prince Caspian at least once a week. With the release of The Dawn Treader this week we couldn't imagine not taking him to the theater to see it. We asked the clerk at the museum where the nearest theater was and ended up in Layton. Little did we know that tickets would be $2.50 cheaper there than in Rexburg (Yay!) so LeRoy splurged and let the kids get popcorn. I wish I had a picture of Nathan watching the movie. He was mesmerized. He didn't touch the popcorn and would only lean over to say "there's Lucy, there's Edmund, I love Reepacheep". The movie even kept Hyrum's attention.



Our final adventure of the day was to see the Christmas lights and nativity at Temple Square. Don't get me wrong, it was beautiful. But it was really hard to see the beauty beyond the bazillion people that were there. We made it just in time to hear the nativity story being told with spotlights on the stable, shepherds and manger. Again, very well done but packed with people! Then we walked upstairs to see the Christus statue and Hyrum would not quit staring. As soon as he could see it in full view he reverently whispered "Jesus" before anyone could ask him who it was. I was humbled to see the reverence that Nathan and Hyrum both showed as stood at the figure representing our Savior.

We finally ended up at our hotel and it was a refuge from a packed day of sight seeing. It was practically an apartment with so many amenities that I wondered why I had packed more than the diapers and pajamas. The pool was open 24 hours so LeRoy, Derek and Justin went swimming until 1 am and were at it again (with Nathan and Hyrum) at 9 am clear and they didn't get out until time to check out at 11:00.



We had 3 rooms and 4 beds so we were able to put the little boys in a room sharing a bed and it proved to be quite entertaining. First, they wouldn't stop giggling like little girls until I had them each face a different wall and after about 45 minutes of that they fell asleep sometime around 10:30. Then they provided us with a boxing match all performed while they were asleep. During about a 10 minute period (around 1:30am) they switched positions at least 4 times - each time with someone getting a hand in the face - and the rest of us laughed through the whole thing.

20th Anniversary

We hit the big two-oh!
And I just realized that I have been married for more than half my life!

During the summer we day dreamed about going on a cruise for our 20th anniversary but reality kept us ashore and we settled for Las Vegas. LeRoy was kaboozled into a 90 minute time share presentation that got us a free 3 day hotel stay and $150 cash and he couldn't think of a better place to blow $150 so Las Vegas it was.

Because of an early morning flight we went down to Utah one night early and got a hotel room in Salt Lake. After hearing that we were celebrating our 20th the clerk upgraded our room to a jacuzzi room (also for free) and that proved to be a great start to our 3 day trip. Hey, get your mind out of the gutter! The jacuzzi soak was just what LeRoy's back needed after a 4 hour drive.

Time in Vegas was . . . interesting. To be honest, I don't like Vegas. LeRoy loves it. He likes the excitement of the casinos, the glitter, the hype, the wow factor, the magicians and hypnotists. I like quiet places. I could have gone to the Redwood Forest, not seen one other human and been just as content with calling that a celebration. With that said, I found something in Vegas that I love, love, love. And now that I know the trick to getting around the strip with as little exposure to casinos as possible (always enter the valet entrance) I would go back this weekend just to see it again and again.



We went to see Mystere by Cirque du Soleil. Amazing talent! Breath taking live music! Gorgeous costumes! Unbelievable ab strength! Dynamic tumbling and acrobatics! Wow, wow, wow!! A camera cannot catch it all and after watching a PBS special about it I can honestly say it's worth the price of the ticket to see it live. I'm already saving for the next show. Anyone want to go with me?



LeRoy's favorite part of the whole trip was the David Copperfield Illusionist show. He was invited on stage for one of the tricks and he was blown away. Still is actually. If you ask him for the story he'll tell it with the same enthusiasm as the day he was there. It was a great show with stunts that left us wondering and imagining. Oh, and LeRoy walked up to Regis Philbin and introduced himself like Regis should have known him which he did because LeRoy had made such a Texan impression on the stage. LeRoy was in celebrity heaven. Regis and Copperfield in one day, what more could the guy hope for? Well, pictures maybe. They gave an announcement several times before the show started that there was to be absolutely NO pictures or recordings of anything. As soon as LeRoy was chosen to go on stage I had my phone ready to snap a quick shot assuming that the announcement had some "hey, my husband is up there with Copperfield" clause that would exclude me from corporal camera punishment but suddenly there was this security woman standing right next to my chair (and within my body bubble) making sure that I didn't snap so much as a blur for his on-stage experience. So, you all just have to believe LeRoy's version of the "Goose in the Bucket" story without any visual proof. You can believe him, it was really, really cool.




The place that we both compromised on and enjoyed like little kids was the M&M factory. Four stories of nothing but M&M contraband and you just have to feel young (which we really needed after walking the entire 4 mile strip). The short movie showing how M&M's are made is fun, all that chocolately color just forces you to feel happy and who doesn't want their picture taken with a life size M&M? I wanted to bring Red home with me. Of course, LeRoy would have brought Green home and you can tell from the looks of her and LeRoy's dimpled smile while standing next to her that I would have had jealousy issues. Our goal is to make it another 20 years so we left Red and Green in Vegas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you, thank you to my momma who took care of all my responsibilities while I was traipsing around Sin City!

Thanksgiving

My favorite memory of Thanksgiving this year is having my boys baking in the kitchen with me. We laughed and snitched in the food and laughed some more and by the time we were finished we had nearly everything made for Thanksgiving day because they just kept asking what more they could do to help. I'm not sure if they wanted to keep going because we were having so much fun or because I was ignoring all the finger dipping going on. Even Hyrum was occupied and content the entire time we were working. He was busy making marshmallow pies (his very own creation) and cutting out leaves for the top of the apple pie.



We had Levi and Caytlyn and 4 missionaries over for Thanksgiving dinner and games. Derek has been teaching himself how to play the guitar so he was our background music during our evening activities. The sister missionaries creamed Elders Hill and Pitt, LeRoy, Justin and Hyrum in a game of Apples to Apples while Caytlyn chugged away with the high score during a very close Train Game with Levi, Nathan and I.




Elder Hill, Sister Hulka, Sister Faucete, Kimberly, LeRoy, Elder Pitt

Lead Me, Guide Me, Walk Beside Me, Help Me Find the Way

As Nathan hugged me goodbye, walked out the front door, climbed in the neighbors car and left for preschool I noticed his footprints in the fresh snow. Only his footprints were there, mine were not. As I turned to go back inside I was a little teary eyed. Wasn't it just a short time ago that he refused to go anywhere without me? He left my arms and went out into the big bad world - okay, so it was within a mile and he was safe at a neighbors house - but I can't see him, guide him, protect him, teach him. He is out there making decisions on his own. My time with each child to lead and guide and walk beside seems so short and suddenly they are off finding the way on their own.

This image displays the full purpose that we put him in preschool. It wasn't for an educational boost because he already exceeds kindergarten expectations but it was strictly for social purposes. It is working. Still, it is hard for me to let go. And so the detachment process begins with another one of my children. Thank goodness it takes years of weaning!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went in to check on the boys one night and found this:




Nathan was sitting by his nightlight looking at the pictures in the Book of Mormon. I asked him what he was doing and he responded, "I just wanted to learn more about Jesus". How can I send him to bed after a statement like that? As I sat next to him he asked a couple of questions about the pictures and I reminded him of their stories. Then I quietly stepped out, leaving him sitting by the nightlight because he didn't want the overhead light on, and after about 15 minutes he climbed in bed and went to sleep.

Experiences like this leave me humbly and respectfully thanking my children for their example. At times they "lead me, guide me, walk beside me, [and] help me find the way".

Halloween

Halloween was almost lost this year. The holiday season seemed to rush upon me and I was not ready so this year we didn't decorate jar lanterns or make sugar cookies or pull out any decorations or bake up any gross looking food to take to our neighbors. We barely got the pumpkins carved before the Trick-or-Treating started. Once we dug into our fleshy orange vegetables to cut out our most creative faces the Halloween mood gradually took over and I managed to get a few pictures.



Levi and Caytlyn joined in the carving festivities since they "had nothing better to do" and as usual Caytlyn brought a giddy humor that matched perfectly with Levi's phobia of having his hands dirty and the laughing began.

We also had Jared along for the fun (a kid that LeRoy met in town who didn't have a job or place to stay and was just passing through so ended up at our house for dinner and pumpkin carving). From what we learned he came from a rather tough home life so being part of our silly family bantering pulled a few smiles from him. Nathan pretty much adopted him demanding that he "sit by Jared" for dinner and pumpkins, chattering at him the whole time. It was good to see our family through a strangers eyes. We're not so bad after all.



I was surprised at Hyrum's enthusiasm for the gutting process. He was not squirmy at all about the stringy slime and even tried eating it, which he liked initially but didn't enjoy so much later that night when he threw up a seedy orange mess. Before his nasty regurgitated announcement he drew his own design on his pumpkin and with a little momma help came up with a cutesy cross-eyed jack-o-lantern.

Nathan was a little more hesitant with the mess but had fun actually using a carving tool. He beamed like a big boy as he carefully followed the pencil lines and popped out the eyes and mouth. Thank goodness basic shapes can make up a face to please a 4 year old and that dollar store carving tools aren't sharp enough to cut his fingers off.

Derek and Justin set out with determination to follow the printed pattern to a perfect scary face and were getting frustrated with the difficulty but by the time the candles were lit they were thrilled. Scare away boys.



Erika served up 6 hours of fast food at Wendy's that night so had to wait to enjoy the dramatic view when she got home.


A Tiggerific evening! They are soooo cuddly in these outfits. Seriously, I can't stop huggin' them.

Justin rigged his own costume recycling some of LeRoy's scrap pvc pipe and last years Dracula get up and fake blood that . . . I have no idea where it came from. I was afraid he would actually stab himself with it from all the walls he ran into but he just played it up and endured a little bruising.

Derek had a fabulous costume that he build all by himself from cardboard, copper (for the chain mail that he spent a month making), paper mache and yarn. I have not one picture of it. I'll have to check the other camera. Sorry, middle child!

Running Through Summer

My friend Hollie called me in February and asked if I wanted to run a half-marathon with her in September. I laughed! I hadn't done more than a pathetic jog in approximately 21 years with my last athletic attempt being high school cross-country which I only ran to chase a boy. I told her I'd think about it and kinda secretly hoped she'd forget about it. She didn't and a month later I got another phone call and a little more nudging. Really, life was knocking me around with my teens and I just couldn't imagine trying to fit training into the already hectic schedule so I told her it wasn't going to happen this year.

And then life knocked me around some more and I really, really needed something that I had complete control over. Not necessarily because I'm a control freak (all the time) but because there was so much chaos going on that I needed my own thing that no one else could have a say in. I told Hollie I was in and signed up that day. Later, I wondered who the heck had possessed my body and done that but it was too late to back out and I grew to appreciate the wild goal dangling in front of me.

I started with a pre-beginner workout schedule which had me run then walk at 1 minute intervals for 20 minutes on the first day. That sounded easy enough until I was holding my chest and gasping for air. Gradually, adding a minute throughout the first few days and a few minutes at a time in the weeks to follow, I was able to run 2.5 miles without stopping and my first race was coming up and I my hope was that I could fake my way through a 5K.

Liberty 5K in Rexburg ~ July 4th
3.1 miles ~ 32:23

I was so nervous for this race! I was having flashbacks of high school and running in with the last runners and my bladder was a shivering nervous wreck. It was soooo cold and windy that morning but it turned out to be perfect weather during the last half mile as the adrenalin and endorphins kicked in and I finished the race. My friend Mary was also running and she became my mental inspiration. I knew if Mary could do it so soon after having surgery that I better dang well do it having trained for the last 4 months. My goal was to simply run the whole thing but I had a secret hope to do it in 30 minutes. I was so happy to reach my first goal that the extra 2:23 were a minor detail to work out in races to come.

Rock Roll & Run 10K in Idaho Falls ~ August 7th
6.2 miles ~ 1:02:39

Out of all the races this summer, this one was my favorite!
I was a little more confident about my running for the 10K but still nervous about bladder control and finishing last. Again, I surprised myself and after this race I was ready to tackle the half marathon training schedule.

The training schedule started 10 weeks before the actual race and gradually increased the miles I would run with 4 runs per week and the long runs on Saturday. My problem was the "control" of my schedule and it seemed that I had something every Saturday. One week I did a six mile run in the early morning and then headed to Twin Falls for my sister's temple sealing. Another Saturday I worked around the long run on a weekend trip to Denver for my brothers wedding. Still, I managed to keep up the schedule and the biggest help was checking in with Hollie on each run day. I knew I would need to report so it kept me going.

Running the Gap Half Marathon in Pocatello ~ September 4th
13 miles ~ 2:40:21

This became for me the hardest physical thing to overcome since delivery of a baby. It started great! It was a little later in the day for a start time than I was used to running so it gradually became harder and harder because of the heat. Hollie and I knew we were running at about the same pace but as I thought about it after the race I realized that her long legs ran that time in fewer steps than my short legged stride was used to.

By about mile 8 I was feeling dizzy which was probably from dehydration. Even though there were aide stations at every mile I only had a couple of power aide swallows which was what I was used to but I had not accounted for the extra heat so picked up more water at the next station and that helped. By mile 10 I was really struggling with my knees and I really had not expected that. My knees hadn't bothered me during the entire training, even on the long runs, but keeping a different stride might have had something to do with that. I kept encouraging Hollie to go ahead which she finally did and I watched as she gracefully and happily (seriously, she was way to chipper for someone running 13 miles) ran ahead of me and finished so close to her goal time. I, on the other hand, hobbled my way through the last 2 miles alone with people passing me, with me passing others who were worse off than me and my goal became to run the last stretch. Though my hope was to finish in 2:30 I was grateful to finish on my feet.

The most painful part of the whole race was switching from the hobble to a lame jog as I came in to the finish. Still, I did it!! I was so happy to see my whole family there (I didn't think they were coming because of LeRoy's back surgery the week before) and to see my parents and the d'Evegnee family there for support as well.

Run for the Cure 5K in Idaho Falls ~ September 25th
3.1 miles ~ 28:04

I limped away from the half marathon thinking that I had accomplished what I started out to do and that I was done running for another 21 years, more likely forever. But, after gingerly making it through the following week avoiding stairs at all cost, I signed up for another 5k just to get me exercising again. I didn't want to end on a limp and figured that the 5k was more my race than the half. I had been reading about a different approach to running so I was trying the run 1 mile/walk 1 minute/run 1 mile etc. method which was great to break my knees in slowly again and my times were actually getting better doing it that way. I learned that another friend, Terra, had signed up for this race as well but we agreed that we would run at our own pace. It was a great recovery race for me and I had my best time for a 5K.

I was beginning to love the race. Having a race date ahead of me was helpful for workout motivation and I was much more aware of what I was putting in my mouth. I thought maybe I would run one race each month, even through November, December and January because I found 5K's that were being held each month. Maybe if I kept up the running my lungs would adjust to the cold and it could be done. Not so.

Wish Walk Run in Idaho Falls ~ October 16th
3 miles ~ 29:24

The cold got me on this one. I think I was probably already getting sick and I had a full on chest cold by that evening so I'm not sure how much of it was the cold and how much of it was my already compromised immune system. Even though my time was still under 30 minutes it was a tough race to get through. My thighs were stiff and freezing so each step was like lifting a heavy weight. I also couldn't get my breathing under control which quickly caused me to lose my concentration and I just wanted it to be done. My biggest motivation was to not lose Terra and once I focused on that the rest didn't matter and I just plodded along behind her. This race took more out of me than the others, even the half, and I realized I was done for the year.

There are two things that I didn't like about running. First, the dreaded first mile. No matter how long my run was going to be it always took a bit for me to get into it and to find my rhythm. Having a good play list helped and getting the Nike-Ipod thingy to randomly (or at my request) tell me in my ear how far and fast I had gone was a boost.

Second, my thighs grew and I gained weight. I was totally bummed by this because I was putting so much effort into it both nutritionally and physically. I assumed that once I went back to pilates and Jillian that I would get into my pants easier but evidently going from a strict running schedule to sporatic indoor workouts doesn't really result in weight loss, especially when the nutrition part of it goes out the window and into the holidays.

I look forward to March when I can get outside to run again. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate like it did last year and we will have an unusually warm spring. My first race next year will be the Liberty 5K again and I'll go from there.

SOLD!

At 8:00 am Friday morning I listed the high chair and the Yukon on Craigslist and KSL. By 10:30 I had an e-mail about the high chair and it was picked up Friday afternoon. By 4:15 we had a call on the Yukon and they came and picked it up on Saturday.



The high chair wasn't a big deal except that it is a visual memory jogger of the toddler years with Nathan and Hyrum. I was glad to see it go to someone who really wanted it and was excited to find it after watching for this specific highchair. The girl's who picked it up reminded me of me when I took my coupon in and purchased it on sale after watching and waiting for months.




The Yukon was a big deal. Not emotionally, but financially. It was a good experience to let Shawn and Kellie use it for the entire month of July. I emotionally detached from it then and we could see that it was totally possible to live without it. Financially it is a blessing to have it gone. That means that this month (and every month after) I don't have to come up with the payment, gas or insurance money. It was nice having it while we did but even nicer to have that weight gone from the budget!

We are really working to pay down our debt and save for whatever the future is going to throw at us. It feels good to work together with LeRoy on this and to have our first attempt at selling/reducing the debt work out so quickly.

I was happy that the family who bought the Yukon were excited about it. They drove it and were a little undecided. After taking it to a mechanic in town who confirmed that it was in great condition, it was a done deal. I felt so good about the purchase because I knew we weren't hiding anything from them and they really were getting a great vehicle. To do a cash purchase of that size was a little daunting but it felt great to walk into the bank and pay it off outright and sign the title over to them.

Now I'm looking around me wondering what else I can sell.

Derek's Appendix

Derek (14) just had an MRI. I'm not so sure about the expertise here in Rexburg when they can't even find his appendix (which has NOT been removed, yet) so they sent him home for the next 24 hours to "see what happens". The blood and urine tests - and the pain that he is in - show the signs of appendicitis but . . . let's see what happens. Is this a set-up so that he ends up staying for a week having had a ruptured appendix instead of doing an outpatient surgery? Hopefully, he just gets feeling better!

Derek has had a run in with medical problems since he was quite small. He has built up such a tollerance for the pain that he often has a ruptured ear drum before he even knows he has an ear infection. Swimming is the worst for his ears, especially in lake water, so after our Texas trip he ended up with a double ear infection. After putting drops in his ears he would put kleenex in them to stop the dripping. Nathan started calling his Shrek because it looked so funny.



With all the medical troubles he goes through he always maintains a cheerful attitude. The hardest part about him being sick is that I want to let him curl up on my lap to cuddle like he used to do when he was little but his six foot long body just can't do that anymore. The best I can do is pamper him and he rewards me with spunky comments and silly faces and appreciative grins that must take all his energy to produce.

**Derek took a couple of days to recover from his non-appendix problems. Whatever it was cleared up after a lasting fever, a long nap, and a full season of "Psych".

Random Entries: Aug-Sept

August 20th
LeRoy had back surgery again - the 2nd time in a year. At least this time we have hope. Hope that he can play sports again. Hope that he can be an electrician like he wants to. Hope of a full recovery. Finding the right doctor for us has made all the difference in the experience and the recovery.

August 25th
I feel like a pharmacist. All I do is hand out pills. LeRoy's back, Nathan's cold, Hyrum's cough, my running aches, Derek's ears, Levi's nose, Erika's anxiety. "Pills and bills, that's all I'm good for anymore, pills and bills" (Pollyanna).


September 4th
I ran a half marathon today! Many thoughts, and I will try to write them later, but for now . . . I DID IT!! Eight months ago I was gasping for air, limping on a sore knee and ankle and had a killer side ache because I had run 1 full minute. Today I ran 10 miles before it really started to get to me. Mile 12 was the most difficult physical thing I have done since Hyrum's birth.


September 6th
Today I lanced my big toe. Actually, I stuck a needle underneath my toenail to lance the blister underneath my toenail (my half marathon trophy). It was a little painful, a lot gross but oh, it feels so much better.

My toe was not the only pain I feel today. I went to Broulims to get groceries and was bombarded with parents loading carts for their new college students. I was a bit emotional because that was what I had planned on doing with Levi when he went to school. The Levi chapter in my fairy tale has taken quite a different turn from how I had envisioned it. Church was also hard yesterday because several people asked about Levi. "How does he like school? Is he planning on a mission? What is he doing now?" I really don't know how to answer those questions. I know the answers but they fail to meet the expectations that LDS people and college bound families have. We just do not fit that mold. It is hard enough for me to let go of that hope and expectation - especially since I have been envisioning his mission, college, and career since he was a little boy - but to try to explain it to others is difficult. Not that I had it all planned out, just that I thought I knew the general direction his life would take. Evidently, the Lord has a personalized plan for him - based on his own choices - and now I get to stand in the sidelines to offer support and love.

Grace came while sitting as an emotional mess during the sacrament song yesterday.

How great, how glorious, how complete
Redemption's grand design,
Where justice, love and mercy meet
In harmony divine!

How Great the Wisdom and the Love, verse 6


September 7th
Nathan: I think I'm gonna have a nightmare tonight but it's ok. I'll just have him sleep in my bed with me.

Thank you, "Nightmare in My Closet"!


September 11th
After the marathon last week I didn't think I would ever want to run again. My knee could barely handle walking for about 4 days and my toe could not fit in my shoe without throbbing pain. But my routine for the last 12 weeks has been to run Saturday mornings and most of those runs were long (6-12 mile) runs. So this morning I took it easy and did what I thought was a slow paced 2 mile jog. Turns out it was better than any 2 miles I have ever done. I think it made a mental difference to not have the 13 mile half marathon looming in the future. Today was just running to run and enjoy the flow of endorphins.


September 14th
Tired. I am so worn out! I'm not sure what is going on with this body of mine. I have small bursts of energy (around 11am) and then I crash. My mind and spirit want to keep going but I am so physically tired. Low iron? Lack of sleep? Eating and exercising adjustments now that the running isn't my only focus? It could be all or none of the above. I just wish I could finish a day feeling like I accomplished something with gusto instead of lamely settling for what I managed to pull off - which isn't much.


September 15th
Derek and I packed up and took LeRoy to Woodbadge scout training where he is one of the main staff leaders. He (LeRoy) has been so great to follow doctors orders. It has been hard for him but having the possibility of basketball and work without pain is his motivation. Having the brace to wear is a perfect reminder because it doesn't allow him to bend or twist wrong or lift anything. He will be gone 4 days this week and 4 days next week.


September 16th
Nathan: Mom, do you know how much I love you?

My thought: Nathan, do you know how much I needed to hear that right now? Thank you for reminding me that this difficult calling of motherhood is really worth it!


September 23rd
Derek and LeRoy left for Woodbadge again. Derek is a youth-rep for this week and is so excited to do it. It is good to see them work together and build memories together. Sometimes, I'm not overly supportive of the scouting program and all that it requires and costs but events like these built character and reinforce the standards we hope they will carry throughout their lives.


Sept 27th
Hyrum has been waking up during the night for the past week now. He always cries that he wants "moms bed" or "Nathan's bed". Finally I decided to put in the twin bed for him. About a month ago I took the side off the crib so that it created a daybed for him instead of a jail-like crib but I guess he is ready for the "big boy bed". And last night was sooooo nice! He slept clear through the night and even slept in a bit.

We are entering into a new stage of life now. No high chair, no crib, no bibs or sippy cups. By next spring we will be potty-training and out of diapers. I do occasionally miss the baby stages (mostly the cuddles and giggles) but it is nice in our hectic teen-driven lifestyle to be growing out of the baby stages.


Sept 28th
My filling was bugging me this morning and during my lunch it fell out. This isn't just a tiny filling - we're talking 3/4 of a tooth here. It's my very back, top left tooth. I'm kinda excited to go to Dr. Tall because I actually had a good experience in his office getting my 2 crowns on the right. I love the crowns. They are the newish kind that is white and all one piece and of course expensive. The nice part is that he guarantees the crowns as long as I get in every 6 months for a cleaning. So, here goes another huge dental bill but it will be nice not to have that tooth bugging me anymore.