Favorites from Kahlil Gibran

On Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

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On Pain

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.


Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

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On Joy and Sorrow

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

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Love that is washed by tears will remain eternally pure and faithful.

Winter Craziness

Vivien and Justin think that snow on the trampoline is an invitation to jump at night in shorts. To Derek snow means a warm coat, boots and to find a place to stay dry. Nathan and Hyrum go all out with boots, snow pants, coats, gloves and hats as they explore every foot of our newly covered yard.

Usual night time silliness with Vivien and Justin

This is how my kids go to the grocery store on a snowy evening: dressed for bed, dressed for summer and dressed for winter conditions.

Nathan and Hyrum love the Slovak shirts that Vivien brought for us. Hyrum swaggers around the house like a rapper calling out mačka (ma-tch-ka) as he looks for the cat.

A friend of Erika's left a huge roll of wrapping plastic at our house because he didn't want it. All it took was a late night of boredom and they found something to do with it.

Derek was a little hesitant to help Erika tie on her mermaid bra but he did it anyway. She couldn't walk on her footed fin so Derek threw her over his shoulder and carried her in to show us. Then he had to pull out his pocketknife to cut if off of her. When she held it up it looked like a dress so she put that on too.

And then Derek took a turn. . . minus the bra

Erika is usually with Bret but when she and Vivien do hang out it is pure craziness. Pudding through a straw is so much better!

While we hide from the wind and cold as winter drags on, the atmosphere in our home can range anywhere from quiet and calm to just plain crazy. No matter the mood there is always plenty of love and laughter to go around; someone to play games with; pictures to color; stories to be read; and music to be danced to.

Happy Hyrum

June 2011

Hyrum's imagination is a beautiful thing. He can take ordinary items and create a fun-loving world around him. He isn't attached to any specific stuffed animal or blanket or book. He loves them all.

Today he happened to be attached to Erika's tiger and Nathan's cowboy hat - which he informed us is a police hat when turned sideways. He rode his "pet tiger" all over the house, squealing like a siren, while capturing the imaginary bad guys.

One afternoon I found Hyrum climbing in my bathroom closet looking for band aids. I wanted him to show me where he was hurt but he was very shy and determined to do it on his own. After many failed attempts (band aids and wrappers left all over my bathroom) he came to me with 2 new band aids and his shirt off. When I asked him where he wanted them he gave me a "duh" look and pointed to his nipples. I did my best to hold back hysterical laughter and simply asked him what happened. "That's where Derek shot me. Fix it afore I die." He didn't take those band aids off until the next morning when he was sure he was all better.

During battle Hyrum is always good to bring his victims back to life. After watching the first Narnia movie at least a hundred times, he picked up on Lucy's ability to do 2 drops of her special oil to save a life. Now, in his own battles he will take out the other person and then bend over them and while pretending to pour something over them will say "drip drop". That's his cue that you are alive again and he's ready to come after you again.

Our carpet is frequently "hot lava" and to get from room to room without falling in the hot lava Hyrum likes to make paths of books, couch cushions, towels, clothes and blankets. And he always counts them as he hops along his safe path. I realized one day he could count to 27 only missing 2 numbers. That's how many items he had on his path.

While I play taxi around town I occasionally listen to conference talks on my ipod. Elder Russell M. Nelson was speaking on one such occasion. "That's Jesus talking", stated Hyrum. I told him it was one of Jesus' apostles and he insisted, "no, it's Jesus". I didn't want to correct him further and ruin whatever moment he was having so we listened in silence. When we got to our destination, before the talk was over, I attempted to get him out of his carseat and noticed that he gazing off as if in deep thought. I asked him if he was okay and in a longing voice he replied, "I miss Jesus 'cause he loves me."

Christmas Themes 2011

Flannel

Part of the feeling of Christmas is held in my fingers. Something triggers a happy place in me when I handle piles of soft, weighty fabric that magically (through hours of cutting, sewing, ironing and hemming) turn into my kids Christmas Jammies. My kids have no idea how many times I hug their finished flannels before they unwrap them. This is the first year that I won't spend December 24th in a hectic rush to finish my annual project. I even have them wrapped and I cannot wait to hug each of my kids wearing their made-with-love jams.

Patience

Hyrum taught me a lesson this morning. He has shown a huuuuge amount of self control to leave the presents under the tree alone. There has been plenty of shaking and handling of the two gifts with his name on them but he has maintained obedience to not even tear away one little piece of wrapping. When it became too much for him he brought his two gifts to me and asked me to keep them in my room.

It wasn't until later that I realized that this exercise of putting gifts under a tree and waiting and waiting and waiting a little bit longer is a great lesson in putting off what we want right now and waiting for the right time. Another side of the lesson comes for the giver. Nathan is so antsy for Christmas morning so that we can all open the gifts that he has carefully selected for us. He has to practically cover his mouth to keep himself from accidentally telling us what hides behind the wrapping. I'm beginning to think that our patience is part of the gift. I have found that to be true on several occasions during the last year.

Unexpected Guests

I was laying on the floor by the fireplace looking out the big window at the sun shining in. As I looked at our Christmas tree my eye caught the glistening of several spider webs strung about from limb to limb. I have looked all over Rexburg for tinsel to thicken up our skinny little tree but could find none. For some reason those dangling strings of web looked pretty. almost tinsel like. I looked a little further knowing that where there is web there is a spider - or more. Having a real tree brought in from the forest just a few days before has the arachnid risk but living on earth means they could have already lived in our house and had found a new home in our pine scented decoration. It didn't take me long to find 2 microscopic little friends curled up in little balls bathing in the morning sunlight right up top near the star.

As I gazed at our hidden guests, trying to bring myself to squishing them before they could multiply, I thought of the unexpected guests we have visiting this Christmas. A few months ago we would have never imagined having a new family member join us all the way from Slovakia. I thought we were done having kids and Erika was resigned to being the only daughter in our family. Having Vivien come for the year has brought with it similar jealousy issues that having a new baby brings. We have also been adjusting to a new personality in the mixture with her own set of traditions, habits and expectations. It has been a blessing that I never would have imagined. She will still be with us for nearly 6 more months and already we get teary eyed when we talk of her going back to Slovakia.

The other unexpected guest that crossed my mind does not bring with it quite so much joy. I realized recently that in a small way I have been going through a grieving process. The son that I knew for 17 years has been replaced by one that I know very little about and have little in common with. I find myself missing the bubbly, tender hearted, clean, selfless person that used to be Levi. When he isn't here for a few days and then returns from his party weekend I relive over and over the replacement of my son. The Levi in my mind that I was expecting to come home walks in the door with a cloud of drugs, alcohol and tobaccco surrounding him, gang like jewelry hanging from his neck and ears, a hazy look in his eyes nearly hidden with long shaggy hair, heading directly to his room in an almost desperation to be left alone. He has lived here for six months but has gradually been pulling further and further away from us, especially me.

He is no longer living here. Still, I find myself reaching out and trying to hold onto this lost, angry, young man. Not because I want to be anywhere near the smell, habits, language or attitude of this person but because I am tied to him through love. Little by little I am leaving the Levi that once was in my heart and memory and I'm learning to love the Levi that is now, no matter his choices or habits. It's not easy to watch him go from so much potential to a probie. Still, I love him. I adore him. Nothing will ever take that away. Remembering the not-so-unexpected Christmas guest, Jesus Christ, helps me to easily love and accept Levi, as I imagine He would.

Our Humble Tree

Our fake Christmas tree has aged dramatically over the last few years to the point that we don't even take it apart during the year because the branches are breaking. By the time Christmas rolls around again we drag our prelit dusty tree upstairs to stand over our gifts. This year I wanted a real tree. In the early Christmases of our marriage we learned that if we wait for the college students to leave there were all kinds of real Christmas trees discarded for the city to pick up. We would try to find a tree that wasn't completely dried out and rescue it from the dumpsters for another couple of weeks. I was willing to use our "poor days" tactic in exchange for Old Dusty this year and wasn't expecting anything else. One of our employees brought us a tree instead. One that he and his kids chose for us and dragged home from the mountains. We were a little stumped how to decorate such a tall, skinny tree with so few limbs to drape lights and decorations from but we made it work. I was hoping that tinsel would fill in some bare spots but we couldn't find any so our tree has remained rather humble looking.

I have found myself loving the tree. With limited space we only used our sentimental ornaments to adorn it so our tree seems to stand for more meaning that just a decoration. Caring for it by adding water every couple of days has taught me to watch out for my tree, to not neglect it. As I sat alone warmed by the fire and surrounded by the twinkling of Christmas lights I saw this tree standing tall in representation of this past couple of years worth of what I thought were trials that turned out to be gifts from my Heavenly Father. Through adjusting to and caring for and learning to appreciate these trials they have come to hold great meaning for me.

Simple Gifts

Each time a new box has been abandoned in our house the cat finds great delight in jumping in and out of it, spinning in circles while chasing his tail in it, and pouncing at the kids fingers as they tease him from the outside of the box. As I saw Harrison content in his latest box I realized that I too have come to appreciate the simple. The trip that Derek and I took to Mexico to help build a home for a family of four living in a trailer about the size of my bathroom started me on the "simple" path back in May. When it was time for school to start we simplified our clothes shopping. Our meals are still bounteous but a little less extravagant. More snacks are homemade using our food storage instead of store bought and prepackaged. Having the family all choose together to keep it simple seems to have made a greater impact on the kids than two years ago when medical challenges forced us to keep it simple.

As we tried to give each other ideas for Christmas gifts we had a hard time coming up with "wants". It has made shopping a little more difficult but more thought filled. On Christmas morning it was fun to see the kids so thrilled - rather than any hint of disappointment - at the socks, chapstick, favorite cold cereal, boxers, gloves, hats, books and games that they all gifted each other.

"Mahwedge is What Bwings Us Toogever Today"

from The Princess Bride

After reading to Nathan's kindergarten class, Hyrum and I were walking down the hallway to leave the school. As we passed the first grade class on their way to lunch Hyrum hollered out to our next door neighbor girl Paige, "I'm gonna marry you!" She grinned and waved.

* * * *

I'm now getting phone calls from moms of senior girls (and the bishop's wife) asking if Erika is really engaged. It's good of them to check the gossip before spreading the news but there's always an awkward pause when I confirm that indeed Bret and Erika are telling people they are getting married. I understand their concern, it's the same concern we have. She's just barely 18, she hasn't graduated yet . . . believe me I know. Though I did talk with her about the difficulty of getting married so young, (I was barely 19 when I got married, and just over 20 with my first baby) she is set in her mind and Erika will do things the way Erika wants to. There's no ring and no set date so I won't be overly worried about it until more details are determined. Until then I will just enjoy watching my daughter be so happy and calm. He seems to bring out the best in Erika.

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"Death Comes Unexpectedly"

from Pollyanna

We have had 4 funerals in 5 days. It has given me time for contemplation and an open heart for "mourning with those that mourn". It fills me with sorrow to watch those left behind as they struggle with the loneliness, the questions of how and why and the unexpected circumstances they are left with to move forward in life. One, a father and grandfather, a fellow electrician, the third electrician in a year. One, a young mother leaving behind a 2 week old baby. Another, an 89 year old friend in good shape who happened to choke on his food and left behind his wonderful wife who is losing her memory. The last a more joyous release from old age and a crippled body. All loved by their families and remembered for their best qualities.

At a time of Thanksgiving, these funerals have left me full of gratitude to have my husband and children and parents and sisters all with me. Also, a great appreciation for the knowledge that I have of eternal life and eternal families. And, more faith and hope. Yes, death comes unexpectedly but I have full expectations of eternal life with those that I love.

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"Medical Mayhem"

from my favorite Allstate commercials

It has been a medically challenging six weeks for me. It started with terrible sinus headaches which often led to migraines. Two full weeks of that. Then one night, while struggling to breathe through my mouth because my nose was so plugged up, I realized that my throat was beginning to close off. I knew I probably better get medical attention at this point. The diagnosis: tonsillpharyngitis. Otherwise known as the enlargement of the tonsils and pharynx due to an infection, which happened to be strep in my case. The doctor put me on some heavy antibiotics and steroids to which the pharmacist warned was probably going to "do a number on [my] system". Yeah, even with the additional probiotics that I was taking, it pretty much destroyed my digestive system and flared up a fantastic case of yeast to attempt a takeover. The yeast infection was so painful that I would put off peeing as long as possible...which led to a urinary tract infection. All because of a dumb sinus infection that got out of control.

As I sat motionless (in an attempt to not aggravate the inflamed, fiery yeast symptoms) I began to feel a little sorry for myself. And then I was made aware of another friend who is currently in the hospital after a major car accident and is undergoing multiple surgeries with many broken bones. As if that wasn't enough, her husband is also in the hospital having his own surgeries. It is estimated that it will take her a good 3 months before she will be able to walk again. Suddenly, the yeast and UTI didn't seem so bad, even with the lingering effects of the sinus infections and a sore throat that just will not clear. I'll take it. I won't even complain about it. As a matter of fact, I found myself praying less for myself and more and more for Karin and her family.

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Laughter Is the Best Medicine?

We had our "Thanksgiving" family home evening a week late. Part of our activity was taken from the December church magazines to write down 100 things from 10 different categories that we are thankful for. It was a good exercise for our family but not a wow moment, yet.

After we put the little boys to bed, Derek, Vivien, Justin and I started a game of Wackee Six. We laughed until our sides hurt. Derek was on a roll like he has never been before. He didn't just win, he beat us with a wider point range than we thought possible for one game. When we realized that Vivien got in one hand what my total score was, the laughter at my expense really got out of control. All in a good way as we guffawed in amazement at how pathetic it was. And from there, I don't know what in the heck they were laughing at but they couldn't stop. I grabbed Derek's ipod that was sitting on the couch and started recording it. I even ask in the video, "is it really possible to laugh yourself to death?" It got so bad that Derek sounded like he was gasping for air, which in fact, we realized later, he was. . . and we had it all in video.

When he finally stood up and looked like he was going to pass out I knew he was in trouble. He headed for the door, a sign that his airway was closing off - he knows from years of past experience that the cold air will help open his airway to help him breathe better. That didn't work. I pulled out the nebulizer to see if that old trick would help. As he lost feeling in his hands and his lips went blue we knew we better get him to the hospital. We could wait for an ambulance but since no GPS can find us and we didn't want to chance the extra time, we left. LeRoy put on his flashers, I sat behind Derek, rubbing his chest and encouraging him with things like "every bit of oxygen counts, you're doing great, stick with us buddy" while we flew from Hibbard to the hospital in record time, hitting every stop light green and with no traffic in front of us.

The emergency staff jumped into action as LeRoy stole a wheelchair from the entry without permission and wheeled Derek in yelling, "we need oxygen, ASAP, stat, pronto". They quickly got him in, his oxygen level extremely low. I was left at the front desk to fill out paperwork. When asked what happened I felt really dumb saying, "we were playing a game of Wackee Six". We were there for about an hour and a half. They got his oxygen back up, laughed at our story and soon we were waiting for discharge papers. While sitting there looking rather sheepish, Derek commented "I forgot to write down that I'm thankful for oxygen and breathing". I did not even plan that object lesson but that night we all, especially Derek, gained respectful gratitude for breathing.

Since we hadn't grabbed a cell phone as we ran out the door heading for the hospital the kids at home were starting to panic a bit. As soon as Derek walked in the door he was attacked with hugs from Erika and Vivien and Justin looked like he was fighting back tears. Vivien even yelled at him "don't EVER scare me like that again!" We were all so grateful to have Derek still with us.

Thanksgiving Family Trip 2011

It took us two cars to get us all there but it was well worth it.

We started at Mike and Kate's home with the Fullmer side of the family for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, we didn't think to take any pictures with all of us together (or the beautiful spread of food!) but we did manage to get a few shots of the boy cousins playing. It is so fun to see their personalities all combined for one big imagination playtime full of weapons, whoops and hollers, karate kicks, and the occasional injury. When they all seemed to be hanging around on the steps we tried to get them to pose for a picture and from their smiles it is obvious that they were just humoring their mothers. My favorites were the "silly face" ones. What a group!

Korben & Logan (Kate), Landon (James), Max (Kara), Nathan & Hyrum (Kimberly)

After recovering from eating waaaay to much food our family headed to a hotel in downtown SLC. Part of the adventure when we go on family trips is staying in hotels and having unlimited swim time (and LeRoy has several sports channels to catch up with). By the time we got there we were all too tired to swim so we put the little boys (and the worn out mom and dad) in one room to sleep and all the teens piled in the other room to pull an all-nighter watching movies and eating junk food.

The next morning we headed out to the Clark Planetarium. It was fun to study space and science together. It was neat to see the kids so intrigued with it all.

We took the opportunity to walk on the moon . . .

and Mars

The kids seemed to most enjoy the "clouds". From age 3 to 19 they couldn't resist sticking their heads in the poofy whiteness.

While waiting for the others to catch up, Derek and Hyrum were quite entertained by this expandable ball thingy.

From there we split up. The teens took Vivien to show her the downtown outdoor mall while LeRoy and I took the little boys to the children's museum.

Shopping Silliness

Silliness

Once we met up and had lunch to ready us for the rest of the day we headed over to Temple Square. I enjoyed hearing my kids explain to Vivien about the temple, the church, missionaries and conference. The kids, especially the little boys, became very reverent when we walked up the ramp towards the Christus. I love the closeness that I feel to the Savior when I am there. I loved having a few minutes with just my family (LeRoy and I, the six kids and Vivien) all there together without any words being spoken, just everyone feeling and thinking.

As usual, the reflection pond in front of the temple mesmerized all of us and we took some time to sit there, allowing Vivien to get as many pictures as she wanted of the temple. She got some very beautiful ones.

We walked away from this trip stronger as a family with many memories and personal jokes to tie us together.

Nathan Humor

(Yelling heard from the bathroom) . . . "MoMMMMY! I just went poop and I wiped my own bum!! Now I can go to kindergarten!" ~mid summer, just before starting school

"I can't get out of bed yet because I'm having a growing pain in my leg. (after a brief pause). . . Okay, I'm done growing for today."

"Mom, I really like that you built me a bunk bed 'cause I wanted one my whole life. But, sometimes I miss the old days too."

I caught him on the bathroom counter admiring his nose holes in the mirror. He explained that when he stretches his nose, his nose holes make "perfect butterfly wings".

I think he is right. I can almost picture a little butterfly body between those perfect butterfly wing nose holes.

One afternoon while Nathan and I were cuddled up in the chair, Hyrum took pictures of us with my phone. Though it's fuzzy, I love the memory it brings up. Some of my best conversation time happens with Nathan. He is smart and witty and wise and caring.

Love Notes

November-December 2011

One of the best ways that our family communicates is through leaving notes. LeRoy and I started this in the beginning of our marriage and it has been passed on to our kids as well.

One of my favorite things to do is surprise my kids at school with random sweet notes. After 1st trimester grades came in and Derek was so proud of his scores I decided to make a bigger deal about it by taking him a poster to school.

He told me that his friends thought it was pretty cool and if something gets friend approval on top of parent praise it has to be good.

December was a hectic month with numerous trips into town, Idaho Falls, school plays and concerts and LeRoy and I still trying to squeeze in our weekly date. Justin was the babysitting hero for that month. It was fun to surprise him at school with a thank you paycheck.

I have a white board in my office for reminder notes. One day I noticed a new note that Justin had written. I love seeing his humor come through, even on a boring shopping list.

It is so rewarding when the kids start leaving notes for me. I love kindergarten for that reason. Nathan has been through several notebooks writing notes to all of us and many of them say the same thing but it's good practice, both for writing and for expressing love.

I guess texting language is really just reverting back to our kindergarten skills.

Any time Vivien closes one closet door or her bedroom door the other closet door poofs open. It was really bugging her so I suggested we find the magnet monkeys to put around the handles so that both doors would stay closed. We looked for them for a few minutes but then had to go somewhere. While the older kids were at school Nathan determined that he would find the monkeys for Vivien. I didn't know the outcome until a few days later when Vivien showed me this picture that she had taken.

From Nathan to Vivien

These monkeys are for you.

I found it in the animal closet under the stairs.

Love Nathan

For the year and a half that Erika worked at Wendy's I would leave a sticky note for her every night that I wasn't up when she got home. She ended up saving them all on her wall. That to me said that she appreciated them but she has never been one to leave notes in return. I can remember exactly three notes from her and they have all been left during this last two years. I found my first note from Erika early on the morning that I ran the Pocatello Half Marathon. She wished me luck and said she was proud of me. That totally made my day and thoughts of Erika pushed me through that race. The second was left last spring when I was out really late playing Bunco with my girlfriends and it simply said "you are late for curfew. Good night."

The last note is the one that really caught me off guard. It happened to come when there were no significant events taking place. She went to bed early one night and later when I went to bed I found this note on my pillow.

Erika is not one to share her feelings so this came as quite a surprise. I will treasure it forever.

Erika's 18th Birthday

November 17, 2011

No matter what we could have pulled together for Erika's birthday it would have fallen short in comparison to what she was so excited about for that particular day. Bret was coming from Colorado. . . just for her birthday. . . for four whole days.

Still, we tried. And we had a good time. She was happy to get a new book from Grandma Fullmer (a tradition we all love), new piano music from Bret (and it has been great to hear her playing again!), a Tim Burton movie collection from us (which includes all of her very favorite movies), and meaningful "I love you" gifts from Vivien and the boys.

If she is going to give in and put something on her feet it will be flip flops so that's what we used for her cake. I used double chocolate cake (her favorite) with purple frosting on the top and chocolate frosting for the "sole" with Skittles for decoration.

I can't believe it has been 18 years! There are so many memories going through my head from her birth through the happy, tough, funny, scary 18 years that followed. The best way I could put it all together was to use pictures that hold those memories and use one of her favorite songs with one that also expressed my feelings.

For our Twinkling Star . . .

I, Eye, Electricity

LeRoy has been trying to get Hyrum to say "I need . . . " instead of "me need". When Nathan came and told me that he needed something Hyrum tried to correct him, even though he had said it right. Needing a little back up to support his correcting he ran over to me and said,

"It's I need not me need, huh mommy? Daddy learned me that".

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After 2 lasik surgeries I am back to wearing glasses. I've been trying reeeeeelly hard to ignore it but after asking Vivien to point out Erika and Derek in their play and realizing that I can't see faces at church or read any road signs or tell when someone is gesturing a facial hello or glare from across the room I figured it was time to fess up. And I was having flashes of light in my left eye. The first time it happened I thought I had a paparazzi stalker in my kitchen.

While Kellie was here visiting I asked her to help me pick out frames and then it was easy to get the appointment done. She was awesome! Having an optometry shopper is the only way to go (for me).

During the week that I had to wait for the glasses I realized how really bad I had let it get. I was actually excited about glasses. Contacts aren't an option right now because I see fine to read and be on the computer but everything else was a big foggy world around me. I put them on for my drive home from the office and I was practically a 5th grader again, reliving that first pair of glasses and seeing the world with spectacular vision. I'm sure I had the dorkiest smile on as I giggled like a school girl, reading out loud every street sign as fast as I could. I wanted to roll the window down to sing along with the pedestrian that I could see....really see...was singing along with her ipod - who cares that our songs would be different. And then I took notice of the trees. Oh, My! I could see every naked branch on every naked tree. They were gorgeous! I have missed seeing nature.

It was a little dizzying to get home and not really know when to take them off. I wasn't used to seeing every color in the carpet or the sayings on the wall art and suddenly my children looked so stunningly beautiful. I was giddy. Then it was bedtime storytime and I realized I needed to part with them for a bit. I was sad to give up seeing the facial expressions of the person sitting across the room from me but I just can't read while seeing double and I AM NOT ready for bifocals. I will adjust.

I have been asked if I regret having lasik done or if I could sue them or get a refund. Hey, I was nearly blind and now I see. It took me almost 6 months after my first surgery to quit trying to take glasses off (that weren't there) to get in the shower or grab for them on my nightstand first thing in the morning. I have not regretted it for one day, even with the dry eyes, amount of saline bottles I have purchased, the glare of headlights at night or even the fact that I won't ever be able to do a late night eyeball massage ever again. I really do miss being able to rub my eyes, it's the closest thing to thumb sucking that I can relate to. Still, this is sooooo much better and I am very grateful for lasik, optometrists, glasses and eye drops.

Oh, and the flashes of light? Vitreous detachment. Basically, I'm getting old. My eyeballs are aging more rapidly than my birthdays. We'll have to watch out for retina detachment - which is a problem - but for now I just deal with occasional flashes of light and foggy floaters in my vision. If you ever see me jump suddenly for no apparent reason or randomly space off like I'm trying to look at my brain then you know that the detachment is fooling with me. It's all good.

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We have crappy electrical service out here. Everyone around us is on Rocky Mountain Power and yet we fall on the Fall River Electric grid. Just our subdivision and the one right past us. Don't know what deal was made for that but here we are without power on almost a weekly basis during even the most lame of windstorms.

This morning the power flickered off and on nearly 20 times. I know because every time it happened I had to go restart the dryer and couldn't blow dry my hair or flush the toilet (the well pump is electric) and was cut off in the middle of a phone conversation twice due to our cordless phones. It's not that I can't live without electricity for a time here and there, I do it frequently, it just seemed to interrupt my routine a little more than usual today. By 3:00 it was out for good, at least for 67 minutes. The boys were getting frustrated that they couldn't play downstairs - too dark, with the storm clouds gathering around us - or watch a show, or play on the computer or flush the toilet or wash their hands or stand in front of the fridge with the door open or heat any water for hot cocoa. I gathered them into the living room to build a fort and, with a flashlight, read some stories. They were more than willing but Nathan still stated in a rather impatient tone, "why don't you just have dad fix it? He's an electrician!"

And that was our next step if the power was still out by dinner time. Dad would fire up his toys and with our gas generator we would have power. Go Dad! (Mom can do it too but I'll let Dad be the electrical hero, I'm the fort hero today.)