Quotable Thoughts

"We write to taste life twice, once in the moment and in retrospection." Anais Nin

I like that, I only wish I could live as well in the moment as I do when I think it through later.
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"We tend to think being hard on ourselves will make us strong. But it is cherishing ourselves that gives us strength". The Artist's Way

It has never crossed by mind to cherish myself. I wonder what that would do for me and how I would see myself, or encourage, appreciate, or understand myself if I spent more time cherishing and less time chastizing.
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I also had an experience that has helped me to understand the pressure my children face growing up in this world. I was frying chimichangas outside. I gave in and was doing the kids favorite meal - which happens to be fried. The thing I dislike more than the fat grams that come with this meal is that I always end up smelling like I sat next to the McDonalds fryers for hours. Cooking them outside seems to not be so bad.

However, as I was frying over the camp cooker and the smell of fried chimi's was wafting through the air I realized that no matter how far I leaned back away from the pan or how big the kitchen was (the great outdoors) I was going to still have the lingering smell of frying food stuck on my clothes, in my hair and in my nose.

As I thought of this later I realized that no matter how much I teach and train and pound into their little heads the standards that I want them to accept, my children are faced with very real, graphic, unpleasant, vulgar, potty mouthed situations on a daily basis. School, tv, internet, magazines, music, books . . they are all contributors to the stinky smell of a fried up world. They are going to be affected by it.

Levi's first trip to Las Vegas was with Shawn and Kellie when he was 11. I remember Kellie calling me from Vegas and apologizing for all that Levi had been exposed to that day. After I listened to her explain what they had seen while walking down the strip (scantily clothed girls on billboard, taxi's, busses, and fliers promoting inappropriate things as well as the smoking, drinking, and gambling) I was so grateful that he was with Shawn and Kellie who could re-emphasize the importance of living proper standards instead of with a group of buddies who thought it was so cool to be free and unaccountable.

Just like the frying smell that lingers when around frying food, my kids are going to be affected by the world they live in. My hope is to teach them well enough, and to pray focused enough that they will be able to leave that all behind as they come home to a safe, comfortable place that is conducive to the Holy Ghost.

I also remembered our bishop just last week sharing with us the compliment he was given by one of the temple workers as our kids were doing baptisms. He emphasized to us as their parents that even though our minds seem to only remember all the sass, complaining and whining that might go on at home that our kids are better than we think they are. That they do know what it is to feel the spirit, to be reverent and to have respect for Holy things. I am guilty of the first - remembering only the negative and not seeing enough of the positive. Or trusting enough in their ability to choose the right as we have tried to teach them.

So the thought of also cherishing my children comes to mind. Not just getting through another school day, chores, homework, a late night hug and doing it all again the next day but truly cherishing them.