What Shall We Give?

Tears of Unspeakable Love

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of

weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently

than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of

overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of

unspeakable love.

~Washington Irving

Today my tears flow from the fountain of unspeakable love. The love that I feel from others; the love that I feel for others; the love that I feel from the One who defines pure love. Through simple yet profound acts of charity "I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love". (2 Nephi 1:15)

Show and Tell

I never did post the finished project that I did in quilt class last spring. This post, Quilt Class, will remind you of it. So here is my star table runner hanging on the dining room wall.

My goal was to get it finished by July 4th because a lot of my family was going to be at the house that week. With so much hand quilting to do it took determined effort but I got it done during the last week of June. I was initially going to paint stars on the wall to save on money but when I went to the local craft store for something else I saw that all stars were 50% off so I bought metal stars and painted them instead of the wall. I love the three-d effect.

Now we have started a new project. I love this class because I learn so much! With this project we are learning how to do foundation paper piecing. It really makes me wish I had learned or understood geometry better. Once I could wrap my brain around all the different layers and how the shapes would flip and lay, I got pretty good at.

Start with shapes and paper patterns.

The shapes are sewn directly to the paper in a numbered order creating 8 triangles which are then sewn into 4 triangles, then 2 half circles. I think I held my breath during this entire sewing process. I was afraid that the points wouldn't be lined up or that I'd get a piece in the wrong place or that my circle would be lopsided but with the paper piecing it all worked out perfectly.


Once they are all sewn the points come together and now I need to choose a background fabric.

This is what I'm leaning towards right now. Why am I always stuck on green or red? By the time I add a flying geese border and the edging it will end up as a square wall hanging, somewhere near 36x36. I'm thinking of hanging it in the stairwell on that big empty wall.


And if you remember this post, Sew Crazy, it was the beginning of a new hobby. Actually, it is a stress reliever for me. My family has no idea that when I am downstairs sewing it is usually a pretty good sign that I'm ignoring something else. I really do not like choosing fabric but I love putting it all together.

I tried to turn my hobby into profit when my sister in law, Jessica, offered to take them to the craft fair in Lava that she had a booth in. It didn't turn into much of a profit but sales did bring in enough to cover all of the fabric I had bought so I guess if I sell more that is where the profit will come in. My problem is that I'm not good at trying to sell them, I like giving them away. I did set up an etsy store but I need to get the pictures and descriptions loaded. I'll get around to it when the mood hits. Then, hopefully, it won't feel like my hobby is turning into a job.

Here are some of the bags I've done this fall. (The flower in some of them was just covering the ugly nail that they were hanging on.)


The first set ready to go to the fair

I liked this one when I got it finished so I kept it for myself. I had just enough fabric for a second one for the craft fair.

I had 2 of these and the same lady bought both of them at the craft fair. Either she was giving one away or didn't want anyone else on earth to have one like hers.

. . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . .
I touched up the pictures to post this on etsy but when I learned that Kara really liked it, I gave it to her instead. Giving is so much more rewarding than selling!

. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . .
My first listing on the esty store. I actually have something listed!

The front . . .


and the back

I gave this one that I gave away as a Bunco gift when I hosted in November

Bunco gift

Bunco gift

Bunco gift

One side . . .

and the other side

This is the one I made for Caytlyn for her birthday. She loves anything orange or with a peace sign so I did both. This is also the one that I was in a hurry to finish and lost part of my finger to. This was also my first sewing machine applique project. Thanks so much for the instructions and personal training Jessica!

One side. . .

and the other side.

Someday I might get this one up on etsy. It was a new pattern that I wanted to try and I really liked it. It was simple to do, is a great size and can be easily changed for a variety of looks.

I did this one simply because I love the fabric. Also for etsy. The picture is lousy so I'll have to have a little photo shoot with it to get the listing ready.

I just gave one to mom for her birthday but I forgot to take pictures. She already had one of the very first ones that I made but since then I have learned to adjust the sizes to be a little more practical and comfortable, I've added pockets (most bags now have 3-6 pockets sewn into the lining), and all of my bags now had a magnetic clasp for privacy. She had requested one in black and white and I loved it so much that I may make one for myself.


I'm sure with a closet like this there will be many more to come.


I even have a few ideas coming together.

If only my bulky, bandaged finger didn't get in the way and throb so much while sewing!

The Spirit of Giving

We received a phone call that showed up as "private caller" on our caller ID.

"Merry Christmas. Go to the front porch."

We were given a huge box of food. I was surprised to see the reaction from the kids. It wasn't a box of treats or toys but a box of everyday practical foods that we use. A great moment where the gift itself doesn't matter near as much as the feelings it created, that someone thought of us and took the time and secrecy to deliver it was more meaningful than the food itself.

We are pretty sure we know who did it because every item in the box is something that is used frequently at our house or something that we have run out of lately, even down to Erika's favorite brand of Wassail. Which means that the foods chosen would have been suggested by teenage friends, Sisters who are always over at our house. I am so impressed at the details they noticed and passed on to their parents as they put it all together. Or we have no idea who did it and they were just very inspired to know what would be used at our house. Either way, we have great friends!

Another gift that appears so simple reveals hours and hours and hours of detailed work. My grandma started this tradition with her kids and grandkids and now that she is gone my mom has picked up the tradition. Each of these Christmas stockings is cross-stitched and has our names on them. There is so much love sewn into them!

When LeRoy and I were first married we used to daydream about our future home. I always said I wanted a fireplace. And now I have it. I love having all of the stockings hung, the garland and lights on the mantle and the fire below. It is a favorite reading place that we all congregate to in the evenings

I met my mom in Idaho Falls today and she brought Nathan's stocking with her. He was so excited. Actually, to take the picture I had to sneak into his room and gently pull it from his snuggled up arms. He was thrilled to have a stocking with his name on it and to brag to the other kids that grandma gave it to him. Thanks for continuing the tradition mom! I can't possibly express enough gratitude for the hours you have spent and the hours you will spend in the future doing Hyrum's stocking. We will treasure them forever.

Family Pictures 2009

I wasn't planning on getting a family picture until next spring some time around Levi's graduation when the flowers are in bloom and we could do an outside family picture, I'm kinda bored with the studio look. Then we were told that one of the most sought after photographers (or just the most expensive one) in Rexburg was doing a PTO fundraiser for one of the elementary schools. With a 2 day notice I didn't go to all the stressful effort of picking a color or matching shirts, I just informed everyone that they had to be there.

The photo shoot was irritating. We weren't that impressed with the photographer. Now wait a minute! I'm not bashing the professional, he IS a great photographer and person in general. But, his professionalism was kinda wearing thin on the final day of a 5 day run of families taking advantage of his "favor" for the friend PTO president. With a screaming deal like that I'm sure it brought in flocks of families that wouldn't have been able to do a family picture at all this year, especially with a photographer who usually does a spectacular job. With the people that were in front of us and behind us we overheard that they were only ordering the "gift" 8x10 that came with their $25 PTO donation. Not his usual profit.

He was very brief with us. His music was playing so loud that we couldn't hear him so he kept getting frustrated when we didn't do what he wanted the first time he said it. When we saw the pictures up on the screen, LeRoy and I didn't really like the family one at all. I won't list what we didn't like cause you might only see a great family picture and I'll leave it at that. When it came I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't as bad as I thought. (You'll have to look past all the speckles and smears. Evidently I need to clean the scanner.)

I really do love the black and white one of the kids. This is my favorite.

And this one turned out better than I thought it would.

I also have an issue with the family picture, photographer aside, that I wonder about all family pictures. I wasn't even excited to go pick it up because I was avoiding the memories that I knew it would bring. I look at it and know the crap that was going on during that week. The struggles with a couple of the kids. Bad news in the week. An argument that LeRoy and I had. The fact that most of us had been sick that week and Levi was trying not to throw up while sitting in the waiting room. And then the 35 minute wait in the waiting area trying to keep Nathan and Hyrum from breaking something in that all glass environment. A picture worth a thousand words can also have a hundred memories.

In an effort to not always hate this family picture I sat it in front of me and decided to look at each child and see the good in the picture. My first selfish thought in this Polyanna game was that at least you can't see as much of my thighs as I originally thought was going to be visible. But wait, there was more, with more substance to it.

I love Nathan's grin. Originally, I was sad because it doesn't capture his naturally vibrant smile but this grin shows his obedience. He held that smile the whole time waiting for Hyrum to smile. I have tried lately to make it a point to thank Nathan for his obedience and now one of his phrases is "I'm being so obedient, huh".

I love Levi's smile. I see his patience in it. He really was sick and while in the waiting room I couldn't get one smile out of him. I was pleasantly surprised to see his smile knowing how yucky he felt. His grin reminds me of his baby pictures. I can't believe he will be 18 in a month.

Look at how tall Derek is! His grin shows just a hint of his mischievous, comic nature. That is also the same grin that I see every morning as he comes to give me a hug as he leaves for school. Really, that grin is always visible with Derek. His brief bouts of disappointment or frustration are just that, brief. He quickly comes back to a smile because that is who he is: good natured, fun, easy going, lovable.

Justin's smile isn't his normal big grin and if you look in his eyes you can see a determination to hold the smile even though there is boredom setting in. He is always in motion. He bounces his legs in church, he sways during prayer, he picks at his fingernails while he reads. The fact that his picture isn't fuzzy shows a sense of control that isn't visible to anyone but his mother.

Erika Jo hides a lot behind her smile. Just as it is a little fake (or just simply held on too long) for the picture, sometimes her smiles for others are a bit fake. She is struggling through some very grown up issues for her tender teenage years and yet she still smiles. I love the glow on her face. Though she doesn't see that glow in herself I know it is there and much of what she struggles with is because she is to hard on herself. She is not only beautiful physically but even more beautiful spiritually and I hope for the day that she can see that.

Hyrum's look reveals what we were all thinking: "what's with that duck you're waving in my face?" The whole time we were in the waiting room he was playful, smiling and giggling. As soon as the guy pulled out the fluffy duck this was all we could get. What I see more than the missing smile is his dainty little lips and his tiny fingers. Those were two features that I really noticed when he was born. He is growing up so fast and I love that this picture captured his graduation from infancy to toddlerhood.

What do I see when I look at LeRoy? He was on time!!! That does not happen much when it comes to taking care of others vs. being on time for his family. And I don't say that with spite, it's just the way it is and we are used to it. I had mentally prepped myself that I would take the kids to the studio by myself and he would come rushing in just in the nick of time but he came home early and we weren't rushed at all. And those dimples just beam with cheerfulness. He is always happy. I laugh when people call and ask how he is doing and he responds with "awesome" or "great" or "fantastic" when in the same moment he is hobbling in pain and worried about work and finances. He always sees the silver lining.

And me. I look a little tired but I like my hair and I even put on earrings and a necklace. Vain, yes but it was a hectic day and yet I kinda look put together. My hands are just barely visible, like most of the work that I do which is barely visible. That is the theme of my life. In all the bustle, hustle, struggle, stress and worries of holding this family together, I'm doing ok. Not because of me. In my somewhat posed, tired smile I see, or rather feel, what very few see and that is the strength that I feel pushing me along and filling in the areas that I do not have enough to give. I've really been learning in the past year to depend not on my own strength but on that of my Savior.

After this exercise I realize that I love this family picture. It is us. Together. Forever on canvas and for eternity.

And I must end with a positive note for the photographer. Levi's girlfriend Caytlyn and her family also had their pictures done. The photographer offered them a $1000 gift certificate in honor of her 15 year old brother, Brayden, that passed away in March. They didn't know the photographer personally and were very surprised by the offer. And he spent twice the amount of time than was scheduled for each family. Their pictures turned out awesome! They did them in a brown tone and in the pictures they have a simple vase with 3 orange gerber daisies (Brayden and Caytlyn's and their favorite flower), with the flowers still in orange and the rest of the picture in browns. I know this description doesn't do it justice but the pictures turned out so beautiful that I teared up looking through them. What a beautiful gift that he gave to their family!

Gory Finger Details

I can't give the details without it being a little gross so if you get squeamish hearing bloody description you might want to skip this post. However, for those of you morbid friends (ok, mostly my mom and sisters) here's what happened.

I'm not going to put the pictures up here because then you wouldn't have a choice to not see them so if you want to see the damage done and the ugly healing process go here: Finger Pics

It happened Thursday around 12:30. I was trying to get Caytlyn's birthday present done while Hyrum was down for a nap. Luckily, LeRoy ended up not going to Driggs that day as planned and was home for lunch. He was getting Nathan some lunch and putting him down for a nap. I was cruising along cutting fabric with my rotary cutter and mat board and things were moving along smoothly. For those of you who don't know how a rotary cutter is used here is a picture of how it works:

I only had 1 cut left and all of the fabric would be ready to sew together. I quickly lined up the ruler, stuck my hand across the top and zip . . . went right over my index finger. No, really. The cutter didn't even get stuck it just sliced through the skin as easily as it does the fabric. Originally I thought that the cutter had slipped up the side of the ruler but now, a couple of days and a million times reviewing it in my head later, I really think that I did not even have the cutter on the fabric, just the ruler. That shows how little attention I was giving to the sharp blade details.

I had the mat board sitting on the floor of the guest/craft room, right next to the bathroom door. As soon as I did it I knew it was bad. Within just a matter of seconds I sliced a chunk out of my finger, jumped up to the bathroom sink (only about 5 steps away), left a trail of blood on the fabric, carpet, tile and sink, and there I was kneeling in front of the sink with my finger shaking in shock while running cold water over it. I was kneeling because I suddenly felt so light headed, which is unusual for me with stuff like this but I think my body was quickly going into a bit of shock.

Thank goodness LeRoy was walking down the stairs to ask me a question just as I did it. He immediately took over and found the first aid kit. His professional medical opinion was to wrap it up in electrical tape. Ok, so he was going to give me gauze but his normal method is the tape. He felt that there was no reason to go to the doctor since there was nothing to stitch, it was completely cut off. I was more concerned with the amount of blood that I was losing and the fact that it wasn't slowing down, but I humored LeRoy. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe shock. Maybe not wanting to make the decision. Maybe because he had actually looked at it without passing out and was trying so hard to be helpful. Within a couple of minutes of having it wrapped in gauze and having the sanitary white turn to a dripping red, we realized it was not going to stop bleeding and a doctors opinion and help was a definite must.

Luckily, our neighbor is homeschooling her daughter this year and she was able to run over in a matter of minutes. In the 15 minutes it took to get from our house to the doctor I soaked through a very thick layer of gauze wrapping and a double wrapped paper towel that had been in LeRoy's truck. By the time I walked into Community Care it was dripping and they quickly got me in. I told the doctor what happened and he laughed. What?! This was not funny! Turns out that it kind of is funny. He joked that someone should start a crafty cutters club for all those women who have major cuts on their fingers thanks to rotary cutters. I now see the humor in it but at the time I was about to pass out or throw up. They tilted the bed so that all the blood was rushing to my head and that helped.

He removed the drenched wrapping and we watched for a minute as my finger released a constant trickle of blood. LeRoy did his best to make small talk with anyone that would listen as he tried not to look at it. The needle that was stuck in that freshly cut skin brought great relief but only after it forced me to tears and nearly a swear word or two. Upon examining it I was told that I had cut clear down to the 3rd layer of skin and had just missed the bone. It was determined that it had to be cauterized which they first tried to do with a chemical (silver nitrate) but even after a few minutes of that it started to bleed again so he picked up this tool to use. I heard a slight buzzing noise and then from LeRoy, "you're welding her finger?". The doctors response, "it's kinda like that". I was to numb to respond at the time so the two of them had their own conversation about it. I was just glad it was over. And then I had to sit up. Dizzy!

I went home with a very numb finger, grateful that I hadn't lost my whole finger or even feeling in the finger and thought the worst was over. Not so! The healing process has been worse than the actual accident or office visit. There are some moments that I wonder if a lifetime of no feeling in that finger would be better than the torture it is to grow in a replacement. My charcoal burn hurts! I skipped the whole 2nd, 3rd degree burn thing and went right to charcoal with that little "welding" tool. I now suffer from a constant burned feeling. Like a blistering burn that is deep in the skin and you just cannot find relief for. Added to that is the awakening of all the little nerves that I severed and their own healing process as new skin grows in. There is a never ending throb that feels much like the smashed in the door kind of throbbing and it is sometimes so strong that I tear up. Growing a new finger is painful!

They initially sent me home without pain killers but by Saturday night (it happened on Thursday) I couldn't stand it any longer. Rather than sit forever in the ER (since it was the middle of the night) I decided to just take one of LeRoy's. I only took half but it was enough to dull the pain so that I could sleep. The first thing I did Monday morning was call the doctor for my own prescription and my finger is feeling a little better, though the throbbing is still there the pain is a bit relieved. The pain killer does leave me very sleepy and a bit sick to my stomach. I wish there was something to apply directly to the finger to just numb the it instead of my whole body.

By Monday afternoon my finger was burning and turning bright red so I went back to the Doctor to have him look at it. They had said to come back in one week to check for infection but I was a little concerned so I went in early. Of course, I couldn't just cut my finger, have it cauterized and deal with constant throbbing pain, I might as well go the whole way and get an infection. So now I'm on an antibiotic as well. I've also noticed that my jaw hurts. Probably from clenching my teeth at the constant pain. And my middle finger is tired from doing it's own work plus that of the injured pointy fingers work. Aghh, one little cut causes a whole ripple affect throughout the body.

Oh, and in case you are wondering, I did finish Caytlyn's gift. When I took it to her I assured her that there was no blood or skin sewn into it and the silly girl was a bit sad about that. She loves having a story to tell. Levi and Caytlyn asked me what I want for Christmas and in a numb drugged up state I said "my finger back". Not because I really care that I will spend the rest of my life with a deformed finger but because I wish I could take back just 2 seconds of my past to avoid this whole painful experience. Caytlyn jumped on that wish asking if my finger was still in the garbage downstairs and suggested they find a locket to put it in. Good thing I took out the garbage!

I've asked my brother Joe for permission to join the Fullmer Finger Club. It has previously been an all male club: my grandpa, my uncle, my brother. They all lost the end of one of their fingers too. Even though mine is a slice instead of whacking off the top, I am suffering similar consequences and will live the rest of my life with the visible reminder of my stupidity. Anyone second the motion?

Housekeeping

During the past 18 plus months LeRoy and I have been tossing around the idea that we either need to hire a maid, a nanny, or a secretary. It has been a hard process for me to admit that I cannot do it all. I have been trying but something always falls through the cracks. I choose mommy first, even though sometimes I have kids crying at the office door. I choose secretary second because it is a must to keep things running and I'm to much of a control/worry freak to train and turn it over to someone else, and we don't want to have to provide enough hours to warrant hiring someone. The cleaning is one that can always wait. And it has, until now.

I admit it: I cannot do everything! How freeing! Once I was able to admit it and figure out how to justify it financially in my mind, we started looking for someone that I would feel comfortable with to turn it over to. Not that I needed someone with a cleaning degree, I wanted someone that I wouldn't feel weird or uncomfortable with having them clean while I either played with the boys or worked in the office or even worked along with her.

LeRoy met Missy at one of the homes he was doing a remodel on. He has met several cleaning ladies while at different homes but when he met Missy he figured that the two of us would get along. He couldn't quite explain why but when I met her I knew immediately. We both suffer with the same OCD: clean freak-itis. My OCD has been pulling me into a fit of frustration on a daily basis because I just cannot make the time to clean all of the stupid little things that bug me and those things just keep piling up. Lucky for me (and for her) Missy gets to satisfy her OCD by cleaning not only her own house but others ( as she tells it, her husband told her she should do it for other people because she was beginning to scrub the paint off the walls in their new home). I was afraid that she would take one look at the boys bathroom and leave in disgust. Oh, no. She took us on.

Tuesday was her first day with us. I had a really hard time turning it over to someone else, mostly out of embarrassment that I had let it get that bad (the dust on the mantle was probably half an inch deep) but I didn't have the time to clean before she came. Duh, that's why she was coming. The whole family did the usual pick up because I didn't want her spending time on that, I wanted her to do detail work. And detail work she did! SIX hours of detail work. While the boys were down for naps I shut myself in the office to work and I felt a warm happy place growing in me. It started with the sound of the vacuum and the smell of clean and I wasn't behind it but I knew it would be a great. It was so nice to work with my mind completely in the office instead of being rushed to cram as much as I could into a short time so that I could cram a little house work in as well.

As I was walking through the house with her before she left I had a hard time not breaking out in a silly, giddy dance. My house has not looked this clean since the home show. She polished the phone, dusted all the decorations above the kitchen cabinets, washed all the pencil marks and splashed food off the cabinets, washed all the doorknob areas and light switches, vacuumed every bit of carpet - even along the walls with the hose. I can't even tell you how much I love the bathrooms! They shine and don't smell like boys. The kitchen floor was a little too clean 'cause Hyrum and Justin kept slipping on it but it looked so pretty and new again. The windows have no more finger or face prints. The dead flies and dust are gone from the window tracks. She vacuumed the couches upstairs and dusted the fake plants. She washed the washer and dryer. I want to put smiley faces after each one of the things mentioned. I'm smiling now!

I haven't told the kids that she came or that she will be back next week. I'm not trying to take credit for her work, I just don't want the kids to think they get out of doing their chores or do less than they do now assuming that she will clean it anyway. When they got home from school they were a little wide eyed at the shine of the house. I know they didn't notice all the detail work but the feel was different, and they noticed that. I had the washer and dryer going the whole time she was here and though she volunteered to fold it all I kept it for the kids to do. Derek and Justin didn't say a word, and I didn't have to ask, they just started folding clothes. I think they were a little worried that mom was on some angry cleaning rampage and they didn't want to get caught not helping. They were also a little confused at the cheerful, happy, smiling mom that met them at the door instead of the I-have-been-working-all-day-to-clean-your-mess frazzled mom that has been far to present lately.

As LeRoy and I talked about it we realize that she is costing us much less than a secretary would and she does a better job at the cleaning than I can do. I could do it but where do I ever have six consecutive hours every week that I can just clean without any distractions and have the whole house in order before the kids get home from school? Never! It is a win-win situation for all of us. Especially me.

**The rest of this should probably be posted in my private blog but it fits here so I hope you don't mind me sharing. **

Sitting on my bed in my dust free, vacuumed bedroom I began my nightly scripture reading. I was reading in Alma 34 where Amulek shares his testimony of the atonement. As I was reading, I realized that I was having a familiar happy feeling blossoming in me, similar to what I had felt while sitting in the office having Missy clean what I couldn't get to. There wasn't really one verse that stood out to me it was just the knowledge of the atonement and the thoughts that came to my mind that brought on this comparison.

Missy will be here once a week to be the mediator between what I can offer and what the end goal is (the clean house). I can't get to it all. I need help. She is better than I am, she doesn't get distracted by the phone, kids, office. She is focused on taking care of the needs of the house.

Jesus Christ is always here with me, standing as a mediator between what I can offer and the end goal of returning to live with Him and my Heavenly Parents and my family, forever. I can't do it all. I need help. He is so much better than I am. He doesn't get distracted by anything that this world offers. He is only focused on taking care of the needs of my spirit.

He brushes away the dust that blows in and settles from the daily windy choices that I make. From the windows of my soul he wipes away the fingerprint and lip stains that I leave behind in my less than stellar actions and words. If I invite him to help me, he will be the housekeeper of my spirit. As I observe the mighty change of heart that has been gradually, one step at a time, taking place over the last few months, I feel light, free and peaceful. Just like the house appears similar to the shiny, new look it had for the home show without all the evidence that we live and make messes here, my spirit is bright, hopeful and happy, almost as if the clutter of my poor choices had never been here at all.

Luckily, the maid will be back next week to clean up all that I can never find the time to do. Thankfully, He is always here to not only free me from the messes that I make but to add his efforts to mine as I care for my family and fulfill my responsibilities. I echo the words of Ammon (Alma 26:12): "I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things" and to personalize his sentiments of the converted Lamanites: " [I am] in the hands of the Lord . . . and [I am] his; and he will raise [me] up at the last day" (vs. 7).

In releasing myself from the bonds of "I have to do it all, and all by myself" I find great comfort and hope in this scripture: "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." (D&C 123:17)

Picture Pop Quiz

Q. In the following pictures is Erika dressed up for Halloween or the Christmas Formal?


A. Halloween, silly. (She ordered that dress online for $21 and it fit perfectly!!) If this is just for Halloween dress up can you even imagine what the Christmas formal will be? She is so beautiful!



Q. With this picture hint, what did Nathan dress up as for Halloween?

A. Tigger, just like last year. This year his tigger brother also went with him.

Q. What is the best thing to do when you find a slit running the full length of the loaf of bread you bought yesterday and all the bread is crouton hard?


A. Feed the ducks at the Nature Park. (Some of those ducks were taller than Hyrum!)




Q. If you go to the Nature Park to feed the ducks where will you most likely end up before leaving?

A. On the playground equipment.





Q. Who will have the most fun on playground equipment, the toddlers or the really tall
teenager?

A. They all had fun, though Derek had a hard time getting his long gangly legs down the twisty slide.





Q. What gift did Nathan just receive that he sleeps with, eats with, won't let anyone else hold, watches daily and quotes from?

A. The first season of "Greatest American Hero" of course. Isn't that what every 3 year old wants? Thanks so much Heather! And if you'd like a little review of this particular hero phase go back to this post: Nathan's Birthday





Q. Derek and Hyrum are currently bestest buddies. What game do they play most?

A. I have no idea what it's called but it is very entertaining to watch!

Q. What is Hyrum's favorite traveling snack?

A. His socks. He pulls them off every time and they are soaking wet by the time we get to or from our destination. Luckily, I always put clean ones on him just before we leave because he never wears socks unless we are going somewhere.

Q. What is the best reward for 2 little boys who have suffered through mall shopping with their Mom?

A. Playtime at the cool coin operated vehicles at center court. As soon as they climbed on their imaginations took over so it didn't cost me a penny (or quarter, or dollar bill).





Q. How long should it take to make apple pie?

A. That all depends on the pie presentation. Canned filling & store bought pie crust vs. fresh homemade apple pie filling and buttery homemade pie crust: I spent far more time making these adorable single serving pies than is really necessary (after all it is still just pie, no matter how cute it is) but I loved every minute of doughy, creative goodness that went into it. Now I have 16 single serving frozen pies only 50 minutes away on any given day. And if anyone wants to borrow those tiny little leaf cookie cutters for their upcoming Thanksgiving festivities, please call me. That was an impulse buy that I'm still trying to justify. But aren't they so cute?

Hyrum's Sick Day

It has been a hard day for Hyrum. Last night he was up several times and I thought he was just being a momma's boy. No fever, didn't want a drink, just wanted to cuddle. This morning he started throwing up and he didn't stop until about 5:30 tonight. Constant. I mean every time he would sip water it came up with stomach bile. Poor kid. Dry heaves are worse than actually throwing up!

I have accomplished nothing today except for cuddling (and, I confess, talking on the phone). No office work. No house work. No dinner. Nothing. I just held my baby and I loved it. I shouldn't joy in this particular together time because he is so lethargic but I love holding him. I love it that he wants me. However, I do miss my little busy body. The one that climbs in the kitchen sink to play in the water. The one who stands on the toilet stretching from clear down in his tippy toes to play in the water in the bathroom. The one that pushes the chairs around the kitchen to climb up into the cupboards. The one who drags my shoes all over the house. The one who could find mud in the desert.

I did this collage a while ago (remember, I'm at least 2 months behind) and now seems like a good time to post it. During the week that these pictures were taken he would run around getting into all kinds of messes and then he would just fall asleep on the floor. I've never had a kid do this so it was weird to come out of my office and see him sound asleep on the floor or to actually turn from the files I was hiding in to see why his chattering and whining had stopped only to realize that he was sound asleep in the fluffy softness of a bear.


Nathan has missed him today too. He kept asking in a very sweet voice for Hyrum to go play with him but all he got was a blank stare. The cat misses him. He didn't have anyone to run the water in the bathroom sink for him.

Around 5:30 he finally fell into a deep enough sleep that I could lay him in his bed but now I don't know what to do. I should probably go to bed but he could wake up at any time and it is still early enough that I wouldn't sleep anyway. It's only 7:15 so will he really sleep through the night? Will I sleep through the night even if he does? I've already checked on him several times in the last hour and a half just to make sure he is covered, breathing, not running a fever and because I'm now having a little bit of separation anxiety having spent the whole day with him in my arms.

Oh, my sweet Hyrum. I think I'll go look in on him again.

During Relief Society last week they handed around a basket full of kits to make plastic canvas blocks for humanitarian aid. I took 2 of them, thinking that it was within my scope of crazy projects and time schedule to fit it in (actually Kara took one and I took one and although I didn't think we would get them done while Kara was here, I knew they would still get done).

Monday came and went rather quickly and soon it was time for family home evening and I was unprepared. I needed a quick idea. I had just read the teachings of King Benjamin in Mosiah and service was on my brain. Couple that with the 2 kits sitting on my dresser and a family home evening lesson just seemed to present itself.

Now I just needed to convince all the boys that sewing was a great way to serve.

After going from Derek to Justin to LeRoy to Justin to LeRoy to Derek giving instructions, I had a moment to stand back and watch as they used their new found skill in simple service to others. It was an obvious camera moment watching them fumble with the needles in giving determination.

We each finished one or two squares that night and after school the next day Justin and Derek finished the rest on their own. Oh, the things these boys will volunteer to do just to get out of practicing their music! Within a couple of calm hours we had sewn together our 12 squares to create 2 colorful blocks.