Refrigerator Epiphany

I find myself going to the refrigerator over and over again hoping that the next time I open it I will find the perfect snack to curb my cravings. I guess I'm hoping for a perfectly delicious feast complete with mouth watering flavor, an appealing display to grab my tastebud attention through my eyes and of course it would be soundly nutritious to lead my body to my ideal fitness level. I sometimes move things around hoping that this magical meal is hiding in one of the drawers or behind a block of cheese.

That is never what I find. The contents always look the same. Vegetables and greens in the drawers waiting to be cleaned and cut. Eggs and meats needing cooking time and usually a recipe to go along with them. A variety of dairy (milk, yogurt, cheeses) tempting me from the top shelf but seeming incomplete and needing some kind of preparation to turn them into a meal.

It's just more work than I want to put out. I just want to eat.

And to feel satisfied.

I had been breezing through some scriptures that I used in a talk a couple of months back when once again I wandered my way to the refrigerator. I was feeling a little discouraged because my 5 minute tip toe through the scriptures had not resulted in an awe inspiring moment of clarity and instruction for my never ending list of pleadings . . endurance, patience, motherly guidance, self acceptance . . the list goes on. When things don't work out the way I want them to I tend to eat. And once again I found myself staring into the refrigerator.

There, I found my answer. Not in the scriptures but in the refrigerator!

It was very clear to me that everything I needed to make a tasty, healthy and satisfying snack was in there. I just had to take the time to pull it out, prepare it, and enjoy it. It was my own laziness holding me back from tummy satisfaction.

And it was also very clear to me that I have been doing the same with the scriptures, wishing that the perfect answers to my nagging questions would magically appear in bold, italic lettering during my 2 minute stare-off with the pages. I go to them frequently only gazing into them with a blank, lazy peek not wanting to put forth the real effort to find the encouraging, uplifting and guiding feast that I know, from past experience, is in there.

So I once again returned to my scriptures. I still didn't have much time to give to them knowing that motherhood would be calling at any moment, but I was willing to really see and soak in the words and meanings in the pages that I went to. I was immediately led to a scripture, once again from the talk that I had prepared, and felt this time an outpouring of love, a promise of help and as a result a desire to be better committed to feasting on the words of Christ. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jacob 3:1-2

Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause . . . lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever.

What I must do:
*Look to God
*Pray
*Lift up my head (quit the pity party)
*Go to the scriptures

What I may receive:
*Comfort in afflictions
*Feast upon His Love

The footnote for "if your minds are firm forever" led me to Alma 57:27: "and their minds are firm, and they do put their trust in God continually". Also Alma 37:5: "that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day".

The phrase "comfort in afflictions" reminded me of the teachings of Alma on the atonement in Alma 7:11: "he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind". Suggesting to me that the Atonement will offer me comfort in my afflictions of self doubt and inadequacy among the other modern day struggles that I sometimes feel as an overwhelming weight that I cannot lift. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So here I sit during the final hours of 2008 avoiding the nagging expectation to set a few goals for 2009. All nagging thoughts put aside, I willingly set just two:

1) trust in God and search more frequently and earnestly in the scriptures
2) quit the refrigerator laziness and make that healthy snack

Popcorn Popping

on the family room floor!

Tonight we carried on our family popcorn tradition. It is a silly race to see who can finish stringing popcorn on their length of thread the fastest to hold the popcorn title for the year. This year we only had 1 bloody finger (LeRoy) from the frantic stabbing of needles into the delicate popcorn. We have carried on this silly tradition for 8 years now with the girls (Erika and I) holding the title every year. To balance things out a bit in the hope of less loser whining we split into 2 equal teams. With Erika frantically tying the finishing knot they won. Levi, Justin and I gracefully landed in 2nd place . . . by only a 3 second margin.

And then Erika started to toss popcorn into LeRoy's mouth.

That inspired Levi and Justin to stuff their faces in the popcorn bowl.

Which prompted a mess that only became bigger.

LeRoy kindly offered to vacuum for us which is a real Christmas surprise for me. I think I've only seen him vacuum maybe twice in 18 years. He did such a spectacular job that I'm wondering if he has been secretly vacuuming when I'm not around.

You may notice that Nathan and Hyrum aren't in any of the previous pictures. Due to the fierce nature of the competition we opted to hold the race after the little guys were in bed. These two have awful sleep habits right now so we often find Nathan snuggled up in Erika's bed because "Hiam won't stop talking". Since Nathan left the room Hyrum was left with his puppy to tell his stories too, which he did until he fell asleep.

Orchestra Concerts

The concerts are my reward for all the whining, eye rolling, sighs that I put up with to get 3 kids to practice their string instruments. I also get to see a brief glimpse of accomplishment and satisfaction as the kids perform, acknowledging that they know they are part of something good and worthwhile.

I was afraid that Derek's concert would be a bit hard on the ears since I had already attended the jr. high and high school concerts. Much to my surprise it was a wonderful concert. The instructor makes all the difference.

Levi and Erika started orchestra when the middle school was trying to find someone to replace the instructor who had retired. They went through 3 intructors in 4 years and it was not good for the students. There was even 1 instructor who bad mouthed the kids and told the audience how aweful they sounded when introducing them at their concert. The program is now in much better hands and growing quickly, not only by numbers but by talent. Each class at the middle school ranges from 92 to 107 students. What an awesome sight to see that many kids working together to play classical, jass, and fiddle music and have a fun time doing it and to see that positive influence carry on as they progress through high school.

Derek and Ryan practice at our house after school about 3 times a week. There is much less whining when a friend is involved!

Yoga Baby

Hyrum has perfected the army crawl and has moved on to Yoga.

Where's Kimber?

Here I am.

I found that the best way to get friends to call and check up on me is to post only once a week.

I'm doing great! We are caught up in a wonderful feeling of Christmas, so much so that when I woke up to a beautiful white layer of snow covering the frozen ground with a fluffy fog limiting our view of the world that awaited us I was even more cheerful. . . and a little worried about Levi driving his rear wheel drive beast of a car to school.

We have had a couple weeks of sickness spreading it's way to each member of the family but we are all finally over it (for today at least) and we are all productively busy with holiday programs and parties.

The last few nights have found us gathered as a family, snuggling in our blankets in front of the warm glow of the fire and tree as we share a few thoughts and stories. It is the perfect bedtime routine!

I have many thoughts that I have quickly typed when stealing a few minutes to myself but they are unedited, emotional, spiritually personal, full of raw descriptions of fears, joy, laughter, and tears. So for now I have left them in the draft files to be printed for my record and when I can pull enough time together (or an all nighter that doesn't require office work) I will share more with my extended friends and family.

Just know that for now I am submitting voluntarily, quietly and joyfully to my call as a mother, wife and neighbor and doing my best to live fully the life I have right now. For some reason I am touched by short term vision which is leaving me wanting to relish every moment with my kids. Suddenly I see that my time with them is so short and I want to store up as many fun, loving, testimony building memories as I can, both for them and for me.

I have not forgotten all of you . . my support system of family and friends. You are all wonderful and I appreciate you checking up on me! I still love the phone calls that allow me to do the everyday tasks of laundry, diapers and dishes while rejuvenating my spirit through chatter that only women can produce and I still need the refreshing laughter of a night with the Bunco girls. Right now that is sufficient and blogging has been temporarily bumped down the priority list.

Here's a list of the extra's that I've been trying to be on time for among all of the usual kids lessons, school, mutual, callings and work. Somewhere in all of this I still have sewing and crafting to do before Christmas gets here.

Mon 8th: Dinner and FHE with neighbors, take dessert
Tues 9th: Teach scouts, Erika teach dance at Burton Elementary
Wed 10th: Meet Heidi about family pictures, chiropractor
Thur 11th: LeRoy to Mackay for 2 days, Levi to SLC with orchestra, appointment in Idaho Falls
Fri 12th: Pick up Levi from SLC trip, Erika Christmas party with friends
Sat 13th: Erika dance festival, start 12 days of Christmas
Sun 14th: Tithing settlement, Missionaries over for dinner, Levi splits with Missionaries
Mon 15th: Neighborhood FHE at Millers
Tues 16th: recipe group at 12, teach scouts at 4, Mom coming, Levi & Erika orchestra concerts,
Wed 17th: Derek's orchestra concert at 7, Bunco
Thur 18th: Justin's Christmas program at school, Bookgroup
Fri 19th: Shopping with kids
Sat 20th: Our company Christmas dinner

It's Here!

My passport came in the mail today!

I have to say I was a little disappointed that they couldn't take that nasty 2x2 picture and photoshop it a little. I have labor and delivery pictures that are better than the one on my passport. My best features aren't really visible when the photographer (if they can be called that when they work at Walgreens) stands only 6 inches from my face. Oh well, on to better stuff . . .

During the last few weeks it has become part of my computer routine to check Travelocity.com in search of the perfectly priced ticket to Peru. I'm hoping that once the holidays are over prices will drop again and then . . . Ready or not Kells, here I come!

Oh, but first I have to get caught up on my immunizations. Uugh.

Thanksgiving

This year my family celebrated Thanksgiving a week early and all met at our house. Since it is rumored that a picture is worth a thousand words, I will just post a few pictures and save the typing. It was loud, it was fun, it was yummy! We missed all of you who live so far away!





Today for our own family Thanksgiving we are all packing around Kleenex boxes, dosing up on vitamins and cold medicine and doing whatever we want. We did enjoy a wonderful lunch complete with homemade rolls and homemade pies (kids special requests).

Kimber - scrapbooking, napping

LeRoy - football, football, more football

Levi - texting and computer time

Erika - reading

Derek - sleeping, reading

Justin - playing with Nathan, reading, computer

Nathan - playing and eating fruit snacks

Hyrum - gnawing on anything that will soothe his sore gums

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I actually didn't take one picture the whole weekend. Thanks Kara, Cami and Kate for taking and sharing the pics.

"Hey mom, can my friends come over?"

I used to dread this question. I was always worried that:

* the house was a big mess (as if a group of kids would even notice before adding to the mess),

* I would probably still be in my jammies, which means no bra,

* the schedule was too packed,

* it would interfere with dinner,

* homework and music wouldn't get done

Now I say, "pish posh, come on over". Not that the house is clean or the schedule is any less busy but I do try to be dressed for teenage company, aka: wearing a bra. Most nights the extra kids end up staying for dinner and now and then my kids don't get their music practiced and are up until late doing homework. The wonderful trade off is that I know where my kids are, what they are doing, and who they are hanging out with. And though it has put a bit of a dent in the food budget around here, the freezer is stocked with frozen quickies approved by the teens which draws them here even more. LeRoy and I are in agreement that it is a small price to pay to know the who, what and where answers. I have had to get used to the sound of 3 electric guitars "practicing" in the basement but the laughs that come with it are worth it!

For a while we were having complaints from our kids that our family is boring and no one would want to come over because we don't have a trampoline or the latest video games (or any video games for that matter). A trampoline is in the future plans but we are glad that we stuck to our original feelings about not having video games because the kids are doing so many creative, imagination things instead of sitting in front of a screen.

Derek, Justin and their friends have had strategic battles in the backyard, bruised up their shins playing soccer, played string instruments for fun, built iron man costumes out of boxes, spray paint and lights and spent hours playing "real" monopoly in our basement. Levi and his homies usually have practice here but they also enjoy pool, foosball, handstand contests and teasing Nathan (which he loves). Erika and her friends are usually gawking at the boys, taking walks around the neighborhood to be visible to the boys, looking at boys in magazines and talk, talk, talking about boys.

Our home is only quiet from midnight to 6am.

Here is a typical view of my entry way. Only one pair of those shoes actually belong to feet that live here.

Erika's Birthday

I can't believe she is 15!!

This year brought 3 days of celebration for Erika. Her friends went all out to decorate her bedroom door while she was gone, decorate her locker, sing to her at school (2 boys!!) and they all gave her plenty of luvin.

The morning of her birthday I had an idea, ran with it, it grew and grew and turned out better than I had hoped. With the help of the seminary teacher, orchestra teacher and kids in her dance class (and no help from the snotty lady in the office) I was able to have 3 deliveries surprise her and also put her at the center of the attention for just a minute. If my mom had done this when I was a freshman I would have been mortified but Erika absolutely soaks in the attention. I guess it might appear to be a little manipulative but I was secretly hoping that she would get the that no matter how much your friends love you and adore you, momma loves you more and will go the extra mile to show it.

Here's what I put together, while dragging along Nathan and Hyrum at 8:45 in the morning. I had to just see what was available, put it together in the Yukon (of course take a quick picture like a blogger junkie would do) and rush it to seminary just as the bell rang. Then I made 2 more trips into town to have the other 2 delivered. I could have left it all at the office and had them deliver it at the times I requested but I put to much effort into it, not to mention the sacrafice that Hyrum and Nathan put forth in the way of patience while strapped in their carseats, to have the office not do as I requested. The lady in the office was so snotty about doing it that I took matters into my own hands and worked out the deliveries another way. The teachers were awesome!

When she got home her hands were overflowing with birthday loot, I got a big hug and a "your so awesome" and it was all worth it!
The our FHE for the night was all about Erika. Her favorite meal, stories of Erika, a triple chocolate cake, blowing the candles out which she claims is proof of no boyfriend (yeah right), and a silly evening together.

Nathan Silliness

Nathan came to me with a towel on his chin declaring, "need help, it's bleeding". I quickly checked it out, found no blood and asked him if he got hurt. He announced emphatically, "Zerg shot me, I need a band aid".

Maybe he has watched Toy Story one to many times.
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Last week he got into Erika's liquid eye liner. How's that for a Charlie Chaplin look?

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I was busy making tortilla soup and picking all the meat off of a rotisserie chicken; Nathan was standing on a chair watching me. I left for just a minute to rescue Hyrum from the loneliness of his bedroom. When I returned to the kitchen I found Nathan sitting on the island 'helping' me with the chicken.

And he stole my avocado!