Biggest Loser - Employee Edition

As a result of one of our employees calling in "sick" today, I have been sitting here in my office working and reminiscing about the pathetic excuses we have had from employees. In the 5 years since we have had our own business we have had some real losers (sorry if that is too harsh). Wanna meet a few?

Contestant #1 - This is my all time favorite excuse. It was so lame that it actually left LeRoy speechless when the guy told him why he had to hurry home from work in the middle of the day. This guys wife would call LeRoy on his cell phone at least once a day to talk to her husband because they didn't have a cell phone. This one particular day she sounded very frustrated as LeRoy handed off the phone. After the phone call LeRoy was informed that he had to hurry home to his wife because their son (just a little older than 2) was jumping on their bed and had just peed all over and his wife couldn't get him off the bed.

This guy was not meant to work in construction (more like in the church office building) but he was a good worker. His biggest downfall was his wife. She lived more like she was the babysitter and he was the full-time breadwinner, cook before and after work, did the laundry and tried to maintain the house which she managed to really make a wreck of during the day and she would call him home from work usually once a week. Then she would come to me (and yes, I write the paychecks) and complain that he didn't make enough money and at the same time complain that he wasn't home enough. Make up your mind!! I should be more kind but having been with a work-a-holic husband for 17 years and not once calling him home when a kid was sick or out of control, I was a little disgusted . . to say the least. So this prize should actually go to the wife!

Contestant #2 - This excuse was a new one for this guy today. His usual excuse is "I stayed up to late playing games online". LeRoy has really had to bite his tongue and not give an earful after hearing that one. However, today's excuse was new. "I had a big fight with my mom last night and we were yelling at each other for about 2 hours. Now I feel a little nauseated so I won't be coming in." Are you kidding me!!! He is 23 years old and his mother lives in California! Great thing about this kind of employee (and we have had 3 of them like this) is that we don't have to worry about firing them. Every one of them have quit - this guy let us know last night. At least he gave a 1 week notice. The other 2 just didn't show up for work and then called in to say they had better offers (like sleeping in!).

Contestant #3 - This guy was an excellent apprentice, even tho' he was a little accident prone and was our first workman's comp claim. His main fault was trying to avoid paying past debts and as time went on we kept catching him in lies. After being with us for about 3 months we were contacted by the sheriff's office and had to start garnishing his wages because of a court ruling in favor of a credit card company. All right . . . I can do that . . . not really my business.

So the saga begins. He was on a job with LeRoy when an inspector showed up and he happened to be the only one that couldn't show a current license. He had told us that it was current but the state had no record of him attending school. That same week I got a phone call from the hospital asking for work verification because he had put us as PAST employment and they wanted to know what kind of worker he was. What do I say to that . . . hardworking, accident prone, deceitful? Then we realized that he had been missing quite a few afternoons of work telling us it was for medical reasons for his wife and son. We later found out that he already had another job that he was working in the afternoons and the reason he didn't quit was because I would have to report that to the sheriff's office and they would find out his current employment and garnish wages there too. The really stupid part is that I knew how much more they had to pay for the garnishment and if he had continued working for us getting the kind of overtime he was he would have had it paid off in 2 months. Instead he went to a part-time, minimum wage job just to drag out the garnishment even longer. Oh, and about the schooling . . . he hadn't attended during the entire year. Yet he took off early every Tuesday and Thursday to get to school on time!

Contestant #4 - Also a current employee who is a great worker and will do well in construction - it's a wife thing again. They have been married about 5 months and she is 5 months pregnant. About a month and a half after they were married he called in to say his wife couldn't quit throwing up and he was taking her to the Dr. Ok - I'm alright with that. They were told she was pregnant and it was all normal. A week later: "She has been throwing up all night, this can't be normal so I'm taking her to the Dr." Oh please! We have had this excuse several times now. I still haven't figured out though if it is really the wife asking him to stay home, because she doesn't seem to be that way, or if he is just trying to be the perfect husband and she just wants to puke in peace.

The good thing about these employees with the high-maintenance wives is that LeRoy praises me for taking care of things on my own. Yeah, there are times that I wish he was a little more involved but I appreciate his confidence in me. Having situations like this just make me look even better!

So - I don't want you to think we have had only duds for employees. We actually have had some great ones and we really miss them when they move on - our brother John being one of them, and Levi another (to bad he has school) . Here are the ones that didn't make the loser cut:

Our first employee ever - we didn't have employees for the first 8 months or so that we were in business so we were a little warry of the whole hiring process. Luckily we were blessed with a great start. This guy had actually helped train LeRoy when he worked on campus and now he was looking for other work. Poor guy had to start with us. When LeRoy rolled and totalled his truck, Ron was with him. He was about 45 at the time and this was not a little accident. LeRoy and Ron both ended up at the hospital with minor cuts and bruising, after having crawled out of the truck which was upside down and cleaning up all the tools and materials that had been scattered all over the road and field. The awesome part about Ron was that he was back to work the next day. Both guys moved quite slow for a week and joked about their aches and pains but Ron was great. Actually, it has been about 3 years since he worked for us (he found a job that offered insurance, and probably a better driver to ride with) but he called LeRoy to see if they wanted to travel to Boise together this last November for some training to take their Masters tests. His only hesitation . . . LeRoy was driving.

LeRoy's Competition - Daniel is the only employee that we have had that could really keep up with LeRoy - both the long hours and the cheerfulness. He was one of LeRoy's favorite employees because he didn't get offended with LeRoy's joking around - he just gave it right back. I think Daniel was the first one who really taught LeRoy to lighten up and not be so defensive in some situations, even to see the humor in a stressful situation. He was also great to go the extra mile. He made a pouch for one of LeRoy's tools and surprised LeRoy with it one day and LeRoy still uses it.

Alltime winner - John is one of our current employees, 55 years old, and is awesome. He reminds me alot of Dad in his dedication. He shows up at least 5 minutes early, has only taken off work for 3 days in the 9 months that he has worked for us (once for a funeral, once for a wedding and once to go fishing) and really knows his stuff. He has taught LeRoy a few tricks of the trade and does quality work. He is also great with the kids and is almost like the grandpa of the company. The day he took off to go fishing he quickly caught his limit (and these were big fish!), brought us 3 fish to grill and took the long way home through Idaho Falls so that he could do a service call that LeRoy wasn't going to have time to get to. We give a Christmas bonus each year to our employees but we have been saved so much by John and his work that we gave him a "Busy Season Bonus" in October and it looks like he'll probably be getting another one this spring.

My last thought on this: I really hope we are training our sons to be workers like Ron, Daniel and John. I am shocked at the laziness that we have seen so much of and the habit of doing the very least to get the most (I also hope they marry supportive women!). I'm glad the kids have had a chance to work with John and we try to praise him when the kids are around hoping that they will see that hard work and dedication is appreciated. And now I better get back to real office work - and quit talking about the other employees - before Nathan wakes up from his nap and kids get home from school. I wonder what kind of employee I really am . . . hmmm.