First Day of Spring

Spring has brought the sunshine. Real sunshine that shines in the windows not just the stuff that squeezes light through the clouds of winter. I do love the sunshine. The grass is green, kind of. Maybe a little more brown than green but still, I can see grass. Birds are singing. I've missed them and I need to get some trees planted to welcome the birds to our new house. It has to be good luck to start the first day of spring with everyone healthy. That is a blessing.

With one of my favorite seasons waking to the world I should be so content. Winter is gone, or in the process of leaving. But so is my patience.

Why is my patience gone? One word. Sleep. What is sleep? I can't remember! I don't think I have slept for at least a month. Ok, if I were to be honest, I have had a couple of good nights but sleep isn't something that you can store up and spread out over a couple of days. I need it every night and I can't seem to get it. Naps are rare and not quite as effective as sleep. I'm running on such a low sleep tank that my brain, emotions and physical body are about to fall apart.

I really do feel sorry for my family. They have been at their best. Helpful is an understatement. I didn't know teenagers could be so thoughtful. Thankfully, they seem to have additional patience where mine is lacking. Except Nathan. He is so full of life, exploration, curiosity and energy that I really need the others to keep up with him and they are all gone for 7 hours a day.

I guess I am losing patience but gaining appreciation.

An appreciation for walking. I miss it. Last night it felt like this little guy was squirming down so low he would pop a hand out. (Sorry, if that is to descriptive) Yet, here I am trying to walk, when running really would be better, trying keep up with 2 year old Nathan. Walk? More like waddling in squat position.

Stairs? Are you kidding me? I have put the gate at the top of the stairs to keep Nathan from going down but the TV is down there. He must have Elmo. I must have Elmo. Elmo is my 1 hour-sit-at-the-computer sanity. So here I am. Yup, I did the stairs. I haven't figured out what I will do when it is time to go back up. When I came down I brought a load of laundry with me but can I get it back up and still be able to breath when I reach the top? Hopefully.

Now that I have let you all catch a glimpse of how exhausted I am let me add: Yaayyy! I'm exhausted! I'm to the end of my rope! I feel like I can't do this one more day, or more specifically, one more night! I'm on the verge of tears at the thought of going to the bank, the drive thru at the bank.

Wait, I haven't lost my mind yet. This all makes sense. I am so far gone that I am excited about the pains of labor. Bring them on! Labor would bring a smile to my face. I would definitely offer a prayer of gratitude. It must be part of the pregnant plan to get the woman so far gone physically, mentally and emotionally that she craves labor and is willing to do whatever it takes to get beyond the pregnant point to the next stage.

Labor, please come soon.

I'm ready.

Elmo is over.